SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP FOUR

We've looked at three steps to prepare for success in 2017 so far:

1. Evaluate your biggest life areas
2. Prioritise, and evaluate your thoughts and rituals
3. Prepare your mind: give yourself permission to be yourself, including accepting your past, and acknowledge what you can and can't change

Today, we're going to look at a really important fourth step, which I'll call ownership.

Own your roles

You hold many roles in life - looking at the different arenas I play in, I'm a husband, a dad, a technical specialist, a boss, an employee, a musician...some of those are more important to me than others. Which of your roles are most important to you?

Now, here's the challenge. Each of those roles belongs to you - you own them. That means that they're yours to do what you'd like with, and if you're not actively owning them, the chances are that things have started to go wrong.

It's easy to come up with excuses for not doing well in a particular role:

I'm sorry honey, I know I'm late home again, but I've got no choice but to stay in the office.

Sometimes (quite often, actually!) an excuse like that is a symptom of a lack of ownership. You're very rarely in a situation where you genuinely have no choice. You could choose to leave the office on time, and perhaps it would cost you a promotion, but which role is more important to you?

Let me tell you from experience: once you've decided up-front what your most important roles are, the tough calls become less tough, and you start to own them a whole lot more.

Own your goals

Now we get onto the exciting bits. Do you really want to see success this year? Set some big goals. Where do you want to be by 31 December 2017? How about by 2020?

Now, let's reverse engineer those, laying them over the rituals we talked about two weeks ago. What new rituals could you put in place that would point you in the direction of those goals? What would you have to do every day, every week and every month to achieve them?

And here's the secret:

Put them in your calendar.

Let's be silly for a moment. Perhaps you're single, but would like to be married. If you went on a date every night for the next six months, do you think you'd be closer, or further away from getting married? Of course you'd be closer! Of those dates, some of them may have been awful, you may miss a couple, and some you may have ended up going out with people you'd never normally choose to go out with, but who knows?

Give it a go. Set some big goals, with hard deadlines, and create some rituals today.

You can do it.

SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP THREE

Over the last two weeks, we've looked at a structured approach to prioritising life choices, and started to build an action plan to change. I hope you've started to experience a greater sense of vision, control and achievement...but we've barely scratched the surface of true, lasting success.

It's good to create a to-do list, and it needs to be supported by an attitude that turns those one-off actions into natural habits. So let's set to work on that.

Who are you?

We're bombarded every day by messages telling us to conform to other people's view of what good looks like. That might mean having a body that's a certain shape, earning a particular amount of money, living in a certain place, wearing certain clothes...

A lot of dissatisfaction in life comes from putting expectations on ourselves to be someone that we're simply not. The Bible says, "Do not be conformed to this world" (Romans 12:2), and Oscar Wilde said:

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.

So let me encourage you to do two things:

1. Ask yourself who you really are - what you're really like - and how people try to make you be someone different. Now, resolve to simply be yourself.
2. Write down a list of life experiences that have made you who you are today - good and bad. Now, accept that you can't go back in time and change them. You are who you are, and where you are, today, because of them.

What can you change?

Over the last couple of weeks, I've written a lot about things you can do to make a difference. And I expect you've thought at some point: "I can't change [enter your own circumstances here]."

Our lives are affected by the decisions of others, including our bosses, friends, family, politicians, and simple circumstances. And we can't change a lot of that. If there won't be a chance to be promoted until your boss quits, there's nothing you can do about that!

Your satisfaction will increase when you properly realise that you can't change everything.

And here's some even better news...there are some things that you definitely can change. What are those things you've always said that other people do that you can't? What would happen if you realised you could?

Maybe it's waking up half an hour earlier every day to learn a new skill, or a language, or to pray, or to read the Bible? Maybe it's building a budget...and sticking to it!

You will see greater success when you properly realise that you can change some things.

So we've looked at understanding and prioritising the most important areas of life, we've looked at our daily thoughts and rituals, and now we've looked at the attitudes that underpin those. Next week, we're going to take it to the next level, by taking proper ownership of our own lives.

SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP TWO

While we're still in January, I thought it would be helpful for us all to walk through a life assessment and action plan together. I wrote last week about the five life indicators of health, relationships, vocation, emotions and lifestyle - if you've not read that yet, I'd recommend starting there first.

This week, we're going to dig a bit deeper.

Question 1: which of the life indicators is most important to you?

During last week's exercise, which of the five stood out to you the most? What got you the most excited or frustrated? Which matters the most?

Now, what decisions do you need to make to prioritise that area over the others?

Question 2: what is your thought trajectory?

This may take a while, because I'd like you to think about what you think about. What thoughts do you find yourself thinking most often? When you're thinking about yourself, are your thoughts along the lines of "you should do better", or "you can do it!"? What false or unsubstantiated thoughts do you find yourself thinking the most? What thoughts would you like to think more often - and how could you make that happen?

Question 3: what is your ritual trajectory?

A lot of people don't like the word ritual, but it just means repeated behaviour. What sort of thing do you find yourself doing most often? What takes up your time on your commute, or at weekends? What do you do first thing in the morning and last thing at night?

Now, if you continue with those rituals, where will they lead you? Will they make you a better person? Or are they pointless wastes of time? What could you change about those rituals?

Next steps...

We spent last and this week looking at what could change in our lives, and hopefully by now we all have good, measurable to-do lists that we're starting to tick off...but life isn't as simple as a checklist.

Next week, we're going to pick up on those areas that we can't change, because life is bigger than constant activity!

HOW MY LOVE FOR ARSENAL HAS COST ME

I have been a fan of the greatest North London team since my older brother informed me at primary school that ‘they are our team’.

I'm talking about Arsenal.

As a child, I wanted to wear the kit, had posters all round my room of the players and loved anything with their badge attached. Pencil case, rubber and ruler all became more valuable if painted red and white.

I have been faithful to the Gunners throughout the years...

• Drinking tea out of an Arsenal mug as a student
• Wearing the scarf on playground duty when a primary school teacher
• Instructing my kids ‘they are our team’
• Even preaching about the club at church - they are the only team mentioned in the Bible (Jeremiah 50:25)

Despite all this I still struggle this season…

I thought after the FA Cup final last year, and the sudden drop of form of Manchester United and Chelsea, that this would be our year!

Yet here I am at the beginning of May, still hopeful that we can make fourth place in the Premier League to scrape into European football again next season.

This faithfulness to Arsenal costs me - in time, emotion and money.

What are you faithful to, and what is it costing you?

I encouraged us in a sermon recently that Christians should pray, serve and give. So let me make that challenge again.

Will you pray?

Will you serve?

Will you give?