I'M NOT MOVING

I'm listening to news reports of a cabinet reshuffle not going to plan and the speculation about power struggles behind the scenes. 

Sometimes we dig our heels in and get our own way.  Sometimes we stand strong and find ourselves forcibly moved. 

When were thinking of making a stand, we need to make a judgement call whether we are willing to accept the possible consequences of our stance.  

Are you ready to lose your [job, friendship, advantage, stake - insert here] for the sake of principle, for the prospect of gain?  Is this important enough for you?

It's easy to understand why some (most?) take the path of least resistance.  Least risk. Least pain. Least soul-searching.

But some things are not negotiable.  Some things are worth fighting for.

Friends.
Family.
Faith.

Acts 4 sets out an account of A situation where Peter and John had to decide whether to obey the authorities and to stop speaking about Jesus or to continue to speak openly about what they knew to be true.  It was a no-brainer:
"Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges! As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

This was no easy thing - there were significant consequences for taking their stance.  

So ask yourself: what's important enough for you to take a stand?  How will you respond when it's put to the test?

Standing strong is easier with like-minded people to support you.  Find out more at Redeemer on any given Sunday morning at Ealing Town Hall. 

We'll stand with you. 

OPEN UP OPPORTUNITIES BY SLOWING DOWN

X-Men Apocalypse was an OK movie. Not up there with Marvel's best, but entertaining all the same. The most memorable scene for me was Quicksilver moving faster than thought to rescue the students at a school while an explosion 'slowly' expands to engulf them.

Quicksilver is quick, but from his perspective he has plenty of time - real time appears to slow to a crawl.

We can't compete with his physical speed, but our minds can.

We think faster than we talk, which is a great advantage when studying, negotiating,  planning etc.  But if we are not careful it can be a handicap when spending time with friends.

When we are in conversation with someone, it's too easy for our thoughts to jump ahead of what they're saying. We miss out on what they are actually telling us about themselves and about what is important to them. This is particularly evident from the questions we ask.

We tend to ask closed questions, which invite a simple answer. When you ask, “Did you spend childhood holidays in the UK?" you're not asking them about their holidays, you're telling them to confirm what is in your mind.

If we slow down a little and actively listen, we'll learn so much more.

Open questions are much harder, but invite a more involved answer on their agenda. “What about childhood holidays sticks in your memory?”

We fall into the same trap when thinking about Jesus or reading well-worn Bible narratives. We can be quick to assume rather than explore.

A simple example is assuming that three wise men visited Bethlehem, because they brought three gifts. But the narrative doesn't tell us that. There may have been a horde of wise men, or only two.

More importantly, we may assume that following Jesus is a chore, but if you ask folk at Redeemer they will tell a different story. It's natural to superimpose our preconceptions on God and make assumptions based on those preconceptions. We ask questions of God with an expectation of what the answer will be, rather than open our minds to explore alternatives outside our expectations.

So, I have two challenges for you.

1. Next time you are catching up with a friend, actively listen. Slow down and explore what they are sharing with you. You'll soon build a stronger friendship.
2. Push aside your preconceptions about Jesus and explore what he has to say. If you do, you'll quickly discover someone surprising.

You can do both of these over a meal in a restaurant this Tuesday.

Redeemer will pay.

Redeemer is hosting 'Christianity Explored', an opportunity to ask some really searching questions. 

Quick, email hello@redeemerlondon.org to get the details!

FOUR WORDS THAT WILL TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH PEOPLE

It is what it is.

That phrase is used a lot in my workplace.

It's one of those silly work sayings that means nothing until you're in work, and then it means everything. Just like:

• Let's touch base.
• Let's take that offline.
• We really need more of a helicopter view.
• Let's focus on the low hanging fruit.
• We can get back together once we've got all our ducks in a row.

But I like saying that it is what it is. It makes me feel better when making a decision that brings a down-side with it.

• Getting someone in to look at our oven costs a lot? It is what it is.
• Taking a Thursday off to help at Crafternoon leads to an extremely busy Friday? It is what it is.
• Grocery delivery ran out of bread? It is what it is.

But for Anna - my wife - the phrase is more than a touch ridiculous.

Of course it is what it is! What else would it be?!

But sometimes putting language around something can help to define it, and help us to understand it.

This is particularly important when it comes to relating to people. People are all unique, but using language to describe common features can be helpful in understanding why some people are so unique!

So allow me to categorise everyone in the whole world, using a model developed by Roger Reid and John Merrill.

Begin by thinking about whether you prefer to talk or listen, and whether you prefer to deal with people or facts.

• Talking + people: Expressive. You enjoy being centre of attention, laughing a lot, and team games. Pictures on slides are much more fun than words, and the only good thing about spreadsheets is making pretty graphs that tell a story. People may perceive you as being flippant.
• Talking + facts: Directive. The motto you give your people is ‘Be brief, be bright, be gone.’ You like to look at the big facts, tell people what you think, and expect them to act on it. You’re ambitious, and people can sometimes perceive you as being arrogant.
• Listening + people: Amiable. You don’t like being put under lots of pressure at work, but can be a dependable part of any team. You prefer stability over change. You’re the person who likes to get to know their colleagues at a personal level. Everyone who meets you thinks you’re nice…but perhaps the perception is that you’re not quite motivated enough.
• Listening + facts: Analytical. You’re a details guru. Your strength isn’t in thinking on your feet, but give you five minutes with a spreadsheet and you’ll pick flaws in anyone’s idea. Some people perceive you as being socially awkward.

Don't worry if you don't like being categorised like this, that's because you're Analytical. (Jokes.)

I find this model really helpful, but there's something I've found even more helpful when dealing with people.

Just be friendly.

I've discovered that the secret to getting on with anyone is just to be friendly - everyone likes that!

I'm sorry, but it is what it is.

And I have the perfect offer to make you, to allow you to be friendly.

Redeemer is about to open up registration for the new set of meetups. Sign up for one as soon as you can.

Don't miss out!

MY MATERNITY LEAVE CHALLENGE...AND YOUR OPPORTUNITY

Since being on maternity leave I have loved hanging out with my two boys.

I feel incredibly blessed to be a mummy, and thank God every day for the two little dudes he blessed me with.

But after six months I was getting itchy feet to do something other than:

• changing nappies
• sterilising bottles
• washing clothes
• cleaning the house
• dressing boys
• (followed by undressing boys when one is sick all over himself and the other one hasn't made it to the bathroom in time)

As much as I love doing all of these things, I felt like I needed an extra challenge to add to my week!

Redeemer's just finished running its first term of meetups.

I had the pleasure of hosting a parent and toddler meetup at my home. I invited parents from Redeemer, as well as other local mums that I've met over the last few years.

Despite being a reception teacher at a local primary school, for some crazy reason I felt the need to turn my own home into a classroom for 9 weeks!

My flat was full of baby equipment and all sorts of toys. It felt like mayhem, but the kids had a blast.

It turns out toy trains, cars and the play kitchen were the most popular toys!

We sang songs together, and snack time was loved by all (adults and kids).

Mums enjoyed connecting with one another, sharing stories and advice about the latest milestone their children were going through.

It was a great experience I felt privileged to be a part of, and I met some cheeky adorable kids and some incredible new mum friends throughout.

I had 49 kids and parents through my door over the 9 weeks!

When our final session came to an end earlier this week, one thought came to mind:

Why should this end?

The answer is - it shouldn't!

I am heading back to work next month, and will be surrounded by many other kids that will keep me busy...but the opportunity is there for someone else to host next term!

As I summarised my ramblings of my last blog in 5 easy steps I thought I would do the same:

1. Take on new challenges
   The tots group is just my example of taking a risk in leading something new. You could lead a meetup in the future!
2. Use your skills to connect with others
   I've discovered I'm actually good at being with kids! It's probably because I am a big kid at heart (and so is my husband, he keeps me young). Think about what your skills are - how can this help you connect with people locally and build friendships?
3. Try not to focus on WOE IS ME
   Don't feel sorry for yourself if you feel that you don't have any friends and haven't been invited to things. That was their loss not having you there. Instead, make the first move and...
4. Invite people to an event
   It doesn't have to be in your own home. It doesn't have to be run by you. Everyone loves being invited to something. From experience, not everyone will turn up - so be brave, and invite twice the amount you were planning on.
5. Love being local! (That's my blog copyright if you'd not noticed)
   Enjoy your surroundings, the people around you and what Ealing has to offer.

WHAT STARTING A NEW JOB IN LONDON TEACHES US ABOUT BEING A CHRISTIAN

Starting a new job can be intimidating.

After many years being part of the furniture in my previous job, I now find myself surrounded by people who know the environment, and each other, really well.

I've started apologising for having to ask where things are in the kitchen, who has the key to the stationery cupboard, who to ask to get business cards sorted, and what number to call for IT.

I still haven't found the quickest route from the tube station.

And working in London brings its own challenges. My new boss is really busy and expects me to be productive even though I've barely finished my first week.

But I've found the answer.

There's one thing that's going to open up opportunities for success here, and it's disappointingly obvious.

Become friends with people.

I know, that's nothing to do with work, but if I'm surrounded by friends, this intimidating scenario flips on its head.

Suddenly, it's easy to ask questions, because they're my friends, and it's just nice to hang out with friends, isn't it?

In business this is called networking. But people hate that word.

If you hate that word, I'm sorry for what I'm about to say: Jesus wants us to be experts at networking.

Jesus said that the single biggest indicator to the world that we know him is that we're best of friends with one another (John 13:35).

Let me encourage you then to make friends!

Two easy ways to do this:

1. Join a Meetup! This one's a #nobrainer. Click here, and register today.
2. Just ask someone to come over for a meal. Or drinks and snacks. Or go out for a coffee. Or go bowling. Or go watch a film. Or go for a walk. Or whatever.

Want friends? Be friendly. And enjoy yourself doing it!

COME TO THE TABLE

I love eating meals with friends.  I had the pleasure of sharing food with friends at Osteria Del Portio in Ealing one recent Tuesday at an Alpha night, where friends brought out cake to help me celebrate my birthday.  On the following Friday I shared a Chinese Takeaway with friends in their new home, surrounded with packing boxes, on plastic plates and using plastic cutlery – it was wonderful.  Friends make the meal.

At community group we considered the Last Supper when Jesus shared a Passover meal with his closest friends – not a ritual, but part of our relationship with our Saviour.  Afterwards I re-read the accounts of this meal in Mark 14, Luke 22 and John 13.

Jesus sent Peter and John to prepare a guest room – somewhere out of the way for Jesus and his closest companions to recline at table and enjoy each others company.  To sing, drink and eat; to share each others company before taking a walk together in the olive groves.

What strikes me is the eagerness and sense of urgency in Jesus’ words that evening – he was set on conveying important things to his closest friends while he still had time. What also strikes me is the intimacy Jesus enjoyed with those he loved while a man here on earth.

The key message for me however is Jesus’ anticipation of the Kingdom of God – Jesus’ statement that he would not enjoy a drink of wine again until the Kingdom of God comes.  This is what gives the ‘last supper’ such significance.

And now we get to join the disciples down the ages at the Lords Table, to break bread together, as a community.  We come to celebrate his death and to echo the prayer He taught us, ‘Thy Kingdom Come’.  It’s a wonderful opportunity to commune together and to commune with Jesus.  I invite you to join us. 

Come to the Table

Come, we have a guest room
where you can recline with your servant king.
He will bathe your sore, dusty feet;
and you can rest.

Come, commune; join his other friends
and together give thanks, sing hymns
and toast the coming Kingdom.

Come to the table with honest hearts.
Come and find mercy, 
find forgiveness and new purpose.

Come, celebrate the covenant
that confers on us a Kingdom,
bought by the blood
of the one who came to serve.

Do this in remembrance. 
Do this with eagerness. 
And when you pray say, 
‘Thy Kingdom Come’.