SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP FOUR

We've looked at three steps to prepare for success in 2017 so far:

1. Evaluate your biggest life areas
2. Prioritise, and evaluate your thoughts and rituals
3. Prepare your mind: give yourself permission to be yourself, including accepting your past, and acknowledge what you can and can't change

Today, we're going to look at a really important fourth step, which I'll call ownership.

Own your roles

You hold many roles in life - looking at the different arenas I play in, I'm a husband, a dad, a technical specialist, a boss, an employee, a musician...some of those are more important to me than others. Which of your roles are most important to you?

Now, here's the challenge. Each of those roles belongs to you - you own them. That means that they're yours to do what you'd like with, and if you're not actively owning them, the chances are that things have started to go wrong.

It's easy to come up with excuses for not doing well in a particular role:

I'm sorry honey, I know I'm late home again, but I've got no choice but to stay in the office.

Sometimes (quite often, actually!) an excuse like that is a symptom of a lack of ownership. You're very rarely in a situation where you genuinely have no choice. You could choose to leave the office on time, and perhaps it would cost you a promotion, but which role is more important to you?

Let me tell you from experience: once you've decided up-front what your most important roles are, the tough calls become less tough, and you start to own them a whole lot more.

Own your goals

Now we get onto the exciting bits. Do you really want to see success this year? Set some big goals. Where do you want to be by 31 December 2017? How about by 2020?

Now, let's reverse engineer those, laying them over the rituals we talked about two weeks ago. What new rituals could you put in place that would point you in the direction of those goals? What would you have to do every day, every week and every month to achieve them?

And here's the secret:

Put them in your calendar.

Let's be silly for a moment. Perhaps you're single, but would like to be married. If you went on a date every night for the next six months, do you think you'd be closer, or further away from getting married? Of course you'd be closer! Of those dates, some of them may have been awful, you may miss a couple, and some you may have ended up going out with people you'd never normally choose to go out with, but who knows?

Give it a go. Set some big goals, with hard deadlines, and create some rituals today.

You can do it.

HERE'S HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD MAKE EALING EVEN HAPPIER.

Ever since the Panama Papers news story, I've been thinking a lot about money. Then I read this, in the Financial Times of all places.

A couple of weeks ago the top 'reader's question' in the Management section was essentially:

My partner and I have similar jobs at the same organisation. He just got a 20% pay rise. Should I force him to pay 20% more than I do towards rent and other expenses? What do you think?

The answer to this relationship issue is obvious to me.

Forget about the money.

Surely a relationship is priceless.

I love my job.
But if my employer didn't pay me, I wouldn't turn up to work.
I don't get paid to be a husband and a daddy, but I still turn up anyway.

Dear Financial Times reader: I assume you love your partner. Why not try being generous to them with your money?

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Money has a way of appearing incredibly important.

We've been sold the idea that more money will make us happier, in spite of celebrities' ludicrous lifestyles that publicly fall apart on the pages of every newspaper.

For example, it's easy to judge wealthy people who can afford to avoid tax, but I can guarantee you two things:

1. If you or I were in the same situation, we'd do exactly the same thing. Don't even pretend that you wouldn't. When the Government announces an increase in a tax-free allowance, I don't tell them to keep my money anyway. Tax avoidance is legal, and should be expected. (As opposed to tax evasion.)
2. If a wealthy person is happy, it's not down to their wealth. They'll be happy because of the relationships in their life, or experiences they're having.

So...

QUESTION: How much money do I need to be happy?
ANSWER: Just a little bit more.

I implore you, don't stake your happiness on the amount you earn or your bank balance.

Instead, please look at all the evidence and realise that you'll be happier if you're more generous, regardless of how wealthy you are.

Here's the really good news...

Every Sunday we have an opportunity to get happier by giving away our money - Redeemer will use it to transform Ealing and support others around London and around the world!

There's only one question left:

How happy do you actually want to be?