FOUR WORDS THAT WILL TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH PEOPLE

It is what it is.

That phrase is used a lot in my workplace.

It's one of those silly work sayings that means nothing until you're in work, and then it means everything. Just like:

• Let's touch base.
• Let's take that offline.
• We really need more of a helicopter view.
• Let's focus on the low hanging fruit.
• We can get back together once we've got all our ducks in a row.

But I like saying that it is what it is. It makes me feel better when making a decision that brings a down-side with it.

• Getting someone in to look at our oven costs a lot? It is what it is.
• Taking a Thursday off to help at Crafternoon leads to an extremely busy Friday? It is what it is.
• Grocery delivery ran out of bread? It is what it is.

But for Anna - my wife - the phrase is more than a touch ridiculous.

Of course it is what it is! What else would it be?!

But sometimes putting language around something can help to define it, and help us to understand it.

This is particularly important when it comes to relating to people. People are all unique, but using language to describe common features can be helpful in understanding why some people are so unique!

So allow me to categorise everyone in the whole world, using a model developed by Roger Reid and John Merrill.

Begin by thinking about whether you prefer to talk or listen, and whether you prefer to deal with people or facts.

• Talking + people: Expressive. You enjoy being centre of attention, laughing a lot, and team games. Pictures on slides are much more fun than words, and the only good thing about spreadsheets is making pretty graphs that tell a story. People may perceive you as being flippant.
• Talking + facts: Directive. The motto you give your people is ‘Be brief, be bright, be gone.’ You like to look at the big facts, tell people what you think, and expect them to act on it. You’re ambitious, and people can sometimes perceive you as being arrogant.
• Listening + people: Amiable. You don’t like being put under lots of pressure at work, but can be a dependable part of any team. You prefer stability over change. You’re the person who likes to get to know their colleagues at a personal level. Everyone who meets you thinks you’re nice…but perhaps the perception is that you’re not quite motivated enough.
• Listening + facts: Analytical. You’re a details guru. Your strength isn’t in thinking on your feet, but give you five minutes with a spreadsheet and you’ll pick flaws in anyone’s idea. Some people perceive you as being socially awkward.

Don't worry if you don't like being categorised like this, that's because you're Analytical. (Jokes.)

I find this model really helpful, but there's something I've found even more helpful when dealing with people.

Just be friendly.

I've discovered that the secret to getting on with anyone is just to be friendly - everyone likes that!

I'm sorry, but it is what it is.

And I have the perfect offer to make you, to allow you to be friendly.

Redeemer is about to open up registration for the new set of meetups. Sign up for one as soon as you can.

Don't miss out!

WHAT STARTING A NEW JOB IN LONDON TEACHES US ABOUT BEING A CHRISTIAN

Starting a new job can be intimidating.

After many years being part of the furniture in my previous job, I now find myself surrounded by people who know the environment, and each other, really well.

I've started apologising for having to ask where things are in the kitchen, who has the key to the stationery cupboard, who to ask to get business cards sorted, and what number to call for IT.

I still haven't found the quickest route from the tube station.

And working in London brings its own challenges. My new boss is really busy and expects me to be productive even though I've barely finished my first week.

But I've found the answer.

There's one thing that's going to open up opportunities for success here, and it's disappointingly obvious.

Become friends with people.

I know, that's nothing to do with work, but if I'm surrounded by friends, this intimidating scenario flips on its head.

Suddenly, it's easy to ask questions, because they're my friends, and it's just nice to hang out with friends, isn't it?

In business this is called networking. But people hate that word.

If you hate that word, I'm sorry for what I'm about to say: Jesus wants us to be experts at networking.

Jesus said that the single biggest indicator to the world that we know him is that we're best of friends with one another (John 13:35).

Let me encourage you then to make friends!

Two easy ways to do this:

1. Join a Meetup! This one's a #nobrainer. Click here, and register today.
2. Just ask someone to come over for a meal. Or drinks and snacks. Or go out for a coffee. Or go bowling. Or go watch a film. Or go for a walk. Or whatever.

Want friends? Be friendly. And enjoy yourself doing it!