A poem inspired by warm homes

I really value the warmth of the homes that welcomed me in as a teenager. The families that made a conscious effort to open their homes and their families to friends of their children. I learned a lot from them about priorities and the importance of nurturing an instinct for inclusion. I still value invites to share everyday stuff with friends.

This poem is written in acknowledgement of the families who extended their homes to me and my friends. Thank you.

---

Home from Home

Step over the threshold
And through the front hall
Full of shoes and possibilities.
Come to a kitchen table
Where you are able
To shed the cold and to unroll your soul
Against its worn and warm knots, 
Flavoured with cookies and coffee mugs
And echoes of late chats and early plans
And sneak-behind hugs.
Let the love that pools here
Soak into your marrow
Put aside tomorrow
And so launder your heart clean of fear.
Our home is your home,
Come pull up your chair.

---

Here's a challenge for you.

This week, find an opportunity to offer a welcoming inclusion to someone outside your family. It may be an invite to a family meal, a trip to the cinema, or even a trip to IKEA (other furniture stores are also available).

Be a model of inclusion.

Here's an invitation to you.

Come along to Ealing Town Hall at 10am this Sunday morning, where you'll find a welcome from the family at Redeemer.

HOW I WAS HUMBLED BY A HUNGRY, HOMELESS MAN

At 6am this morning I was sitting in Kings Cross station, gratefully tucking into a cheese, ham and tomato croissant.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and, turning around, was greeted by a man around my age. He explained that he was homeless and hungry, trying to get some money to buy some breakfast.

Very understandable.

Immediately, I stood up and asked him what he’d like, but there was a problem. I was sitting in a Pret a Manger, and he wanted McDonald’s breakfast. The closest McDonald’s was outside the station, and he didn’t want me to miss my train.

Not a problem, I explained. I was early for my train, and had just finished my croissant, so was happy to walk with him.

He said he really didn’t want to trouble me, and walked away.

I sat down - on one level disappointed I wasn’t able to help, but on another level pleased - and proud - that I had done the right thing in not giving cash when I didn’t really know how he was going to spend it.

In fact, his walking away clearly proved that he wasn’t that hungry.

He probably wanted that money to buy drugs and mess his life up even more.

And then, after a while, I started to actually think.

This man was my age, and clearly had been homeless for some time - no-one introduces themselves as homeless unless they’ve come to accept that about themselves. He was already putting himself in a vulnerable position by asking members of the public for loose change, and I was offering to shame him further by proudly handing my gleaming credit card to an assistant at McDonald’s.

No wonder he walked away with an excuse – on reflection, I probably would have too.

How often do I judge people based on the way they look, then see all evidence through that judgmental filter?

How often do you?

In front of God, we could all see ourselves as shame-filled sinners, yet he chooses to see us as being clothed with honour, adopted as his children.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to resolve to see others as God sees them, rather than through whatever lens we’ve crafted in our mind.

And this Sunday as we gather, let’s remember the shame that his son Jesus took upon himself for our sake, and the honour in which we’re now clothed. Who can fail to celebrate in wonder at that?!

IS IT WORTH THE WEIGHT?

Great news: a new career option is available to ladies!

A significant change was made recently to the roles available to women in the British Army.  Up until recently, women have been able to make a contribution alongside their male counterparts across various roles in the army, apart from certain frontline combat roles like the infantry and tank units. A number of people believe that having women in these roles is not a good idea, while others have suggested that there should be no restrictions to what women can do in the Armed Forces.

The Government carried out a review of the involvement of women in these frontline combat roles and has come to the conclusion that women should be allowed to serve in these roles if they demonstrate ability to pass the test for entry into these units. As you can imagine, the tests for entry into these units can be very rigorous. I recently looked up the physical test for some of these combat roles. A person would have to carry 25kg of weight and run for 8 miles in military boots. This is no small challenge, even if you are used to carrying a heavy rucksack (or handbag) around. For a lot of people, even running the 8-mile distance in running shoes will be a challenge. If you have carried anything heavy for any distance, you will be familiar with the fact that the same amount of weight starts to feel heavier the longer you carry it.  This is because the weight begins to take its toll on the body and the body's ability to carry the weight diminishes over time….do you reckon you have what it takes to pass the infantry test?

I cannot see a huge influx of women rushing to join the infantry in the wake of this change in government policy. One publication estimates that the proportion of women likely to pass the current test will be less than 5% of those currently in the army. Although there are many reasons why women may not be joining the frontline combat units, the biggest reason is that the army is an organisation that is joined on a voluntary basis; no-one will be compelled to take the test to see whether they have what it takes to join the infantry. It means that most women or men will never know or care to know what it feels like to carry 25kg over 8 miles in military boots.

Having said that, many people will be familiar with the feeling of carrying emotional and psychological weight for many years.

Many people feel guilty about what they have done. Others are suffering from the guilt of what they failed to do. Some are struggling to come to terms with the actions taken by others but which have left them carrying a burden that has been difficult to shake off. Does this describe your situation?You may not be surprised to hear that, like physical weight, the effects of carrying emotional and psychological baggage can become more pronounced over time. For some, it may be the damage it has done or is doing to relationships. For others, it may be the toll that it is taking on one’s physical health or emotional wellbeing. In Psalms 32 and 38, David the psalmist wrote about some of the physical symptoms that guilt was causing including physical weakness and pain. Can you see how emotional and psychological baggage is starting to take its toll on your life?

Are you tired of carrying the weight from your past? Would you welcome some relief? Jesus offers you relief today if you are willing to accept it. He invites you to cast your burdens on him and he will offer you rest (Matthew 11:28). This is an offer that many have taken and can confirm that their burdens have been lifted. The infantry test requires you to go through the full demands of the grueling experience to secure entry into life as an infantry soldier. In contrast, by turning to Jesus with your life and all its burdens, you give yourself a real opportunity to enter into a new life...life in all its fullness!

SPIDER-MAN AND YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT THING IN COMMON

I'm a Marvel comic book fan, have been since my junior school years. I was born the same year as the Amazing Spider-Man, 1962. I know his origin story as well as I know my own life story.  Steve Ditko and Stan Lee created a memorable character.

I love how every Marvel character has a distinct origin story and clear character traits that are consistently threaded through the story lines of the past 50 years.

Spider-Man, Peter Parker, is an orphan and unlucky in love; he's a geek, but really smart and he's usually struggling financially. He learned to his cost that with great power comes great responsibility, but little personal security.

The Incredible Hulk, Bruce Banner, is a mild-mannered scientist with an angry alter ego. Consistently misunderstood and hounded by the authorities, there's no situation that can't be improved with a double handed smash.

Marvel writers typically keep their stories consistent with the continuity established in earlier publications. But sometimes a bold writer might depart from Marvel lore, changing the character or altering their circumstances. Some fans would react favorably, some would send hate mail. (Fans have a lot invested in their childhood heroes.)

As an adult now I have a few years of adventures behind me; some I'm proud of, some I'm not.  I'm grateful that the good news of Jesus Christ is that he does not tie his followers to their earlier story lines, trying to maintain consistent continuity. He uses that foundation to build something new. A new start, a new heart and healing of the past.

Christ does not limit you based on your past. Irrespective of your socio-economic standing, your gender, your education, your race, your scars - Christ brings new life. Irrespective of past mistakes, Jesus brings hope.

---

Broken Continuity.

Skin deep scars were easy to shoulder,
while the deeper ones each hardened my heart. 
Life-long wounds still wept and smouldered, 
carving permanent paths.
Hidden cuts wouldn't stop itching, 
and beneath my smile shadows kept screaming.
Treacherous memories would sting
and bite right through my once thick skin
then slowly burrow, refusing to die,
spreading their cursed lies ...

The scars are mine, the wounds are real, 
the memories follow me, still
I was the haunted boy, the wild child. 
I was the son, loved, beaten and reviled.  
I was the dreamer. I was the drama. 
I was the fiction that made me me...... 
--
That was then, but now see,
I have a new writing team,
a change in narrative, a brand new me,
a departure from past continuity.
Now I have a team-up. 
Now I have back-up. 
And in this story arc,
I get a power-up:
one new ability,
His power to HEAL ME!

---

Life's not a comic book, it's much more exciting than that.

If you would like to know more about how Jesus changes lives, why not come along to Redeemer this Sunday. You won't find any superheroes, but you will find people enjoying renewed lives. 

BUSY, OR EXISTENTIALLY BORED?

I love living in London.

One of the advantages of living in London is that something is always happening.

Life here is fast-paced and full of activity.

But I find that the constant busyness leads to a temptation to try and create busyness when things are slowing down a bit. Of course, I put it down to me liking activity, but it's probably fair to admit that sometimes I fill my time because I'm scared of the boredom that might come with slowing down.

I read a blog post the other day that captured this so well. It's only short, so I'd encourage you to read the whole thing, but here's a quote to whet your appetite:

Our culture now equates busyness with importance, hard work with ability. We like representing ourselves as capable, so our egos swell approvingly with each overtime hour logged. Our work has thus become our identity—when meeting new people, I’m likely to be asked ‘what I do’ before I’m asked my name. Even 2,000 years before Headspace offered free 10-day trials and lifestyle magazines wrote about mindfulness, Roman Stoic Seneca noted this human tendency with enough scathing accuracy to elicit a collective 21st-century cringe: ‘It is inevitable that life will be not just very short but very miserable for those who acquire by great toil what they must keep by greater toil. They achieve what they want laboriously; they possess what they have achieved anxiously... New preoccupations take the place of the old, hope excites more hope and ambition more ambition. They do not look for an end to their misery, but simply change the reason for it.’

So read the entire post on the Salt London blog, and why not put this into practice by ceasing your busyness this August, by enjoying our Holy Smokes Barbecues every Sunday.

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE AB FAB FILM

Earlier this week, I had a great conversation at my meetup. The general message we were discussing was this: you can’t pick and choose what bits of Christianity you believe – take it all, or leave it all.

With that in mind, two headlines caught my eye. Both are attention-grabbing, and both are cinema-related:

1. New Emma Watson film makes £47 at UK box office

2. Audience members ejected from cinema for laughing at Absolutely Fabulous

Both of them look like ridiculous, out-of-the-ordinary stories…but in fact both are non-stories, for different reasons.

The Emma Watson film was never intended to make money through cinema screenings, aiming for the home streaming market instead. So the headline should really have read:

New Emma Watson film basically makes exactly what it hoped to through cinema screenings

Not quite as catchy, I’ll grant you.

How about the Ab Fab story? Well, four people were kicked out of a screening – rare, but not unheard of. Why were they kicked out? The four people say they were told to ‘laugh on the inside’, and the cinema says it was because they were annoying other cinema-goers by talking loudly. So the headline should really have read:

Audience members ejected from cinema, most likely for valid reasons. 

So neither story is really news, is it.

---

Let’s agree on one thing. In a perfect world, there would be no need to make up news, but that’s not how the news business works.

Think about it. Newspapers, news websites, news TV channels and radio slots – all of them produce frequent news updates. They don’t publish news when there’s news, they publish news when there’s a publication deadline.

The net result of that is journalists tasked with filling space rather than finding the best news story – and so stories are written based on the angle rather than the truth.

And that’s much more fun, isn’t it? Take a tiny detail, one piece of the puzzle, and make up an interesting whole-picture story that fits that one detail.

Could we really build a new hospital every week if we left the EU? Of course not, but saying ‘an insignificant sum goes to the EU in exchange for tangible and intangible benefits’, while a fairer reflection of the truth, isn’t a good enough angle.

So how about Christianity?

The same is true. We are all tempted to embrace angles on Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, church life…

I invite you to regularly lose every misconception and filter that’s built up over time, and come back to the purity of Christianity.

And you can do that this coming Tuesday evening, in Ealing Broadway. Email hello@redeemerlondon.org to find out how you can get a free meal and an opportunity to properly explore Christianity!

MANIFESTO FOR AN INTERNATIONAL CHURCH

Ealing is home to people from over 170 nations, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to see around 30 nationalities meeting God together, every Sunday morning at Ealing town hall.

I cannot but be impressed by the unifying effect of God's spirit.

I believe in one international church. 
I believe in an inter-racial and unbiased church of many nations. 
I believe in one church of many traditions. 
I believe in one church not hemmed in by history or by man-made borders. 
I believe in a God for whom his pallet of skin colours reflects his love of diversity. 
I believe in God-given racial differences. 
I believe in one creator God who made all mankind equal. 
I believe in a church that reflects her maker's love of difference. 
I do not believe in uniformity. 
I believe in the common language of love for one another, for neighbours and for enemies that transcends local dialects. 
I believe in one sundry collection of priests who are called to serve one God together, saved by one sacrifice once and for all time. 
I believe in the promise of a resurrected church drawn from all generations to meet her bridegroom. 
I believe in one eternal wedding feast which features everything from the finest vegetable samosas to the richest steam puddings. 
I believe in one extravagant Father who has built one massive mansion with many rooms so all his people can come and dwell together. 
I believe in God's Kingdom come. 

Why not join the throng.

SEE THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS GOSPEL CHOIR FOR FREE!

Looking for a Redeemer event to invite your friends and family to? We have just the thing for you!

On Sunday 10th July, the world-famous London Community Gospel Choir will be with us at our weekly meeting. This promises to be a very memorable Sunday and we have hundreds of seats we’d love to fill!

The event is completely free of charge and people of all ages are welcome.

Booking your tickets couldn’t be easier - simply click here, and book a ticket for each guest you plan to bring along. It would greatly help our creche and kids workers if you could book tickets for any children that may come, so we can provide enough fun activities for them on the day.

If you have any questions, please email us at hello@redeemerlondon.org.

We’ll see you there!

OPEN UP OPPORTUNITIES BY SLOWING DOWN

X-Men Apocalypse was an OK movie. Not up there with Marvel's best, but entertaining all the same. The most memorable scene for me was Quicksilver moving faster than thought to rescue the students at a school while an explosion 'slowly' expands to engulf them.

Quicksilver is quick, but from his perspective he has plenty of time - real time appears to slow to a crawl.

We can't compete with his physical speed, but our minds can.

We think faster than we talk, which is a great advantage when studying, negotiating,  planning etc.  But if we are not careful it can be a handicap when spending time with friends.

When we are in conversation with someone, it's too easy for our thoughts to jump ahead of what they're saying. We miss out on what they are actually telling us about themselves and about what is important to them. This is particularly evident from the questions we ask.

We tend to ask closed questions, which invite a simple answer. When you ask, “Did you spend childhood holidays in the UK?" you're not asking them about their holidays, you're telling them to confirm what is in your mind.

If we slow down a little and actively listen, we'll learn so much more.

Open questions are much harder, but invite a more involved answer on their agenda. “What about childhood holidays sticks in your memory?”

We fall into the same trap when thinking about Jesus or reading well-worn Bible narratives. We can be quick to assume rather than explore.

A simple example is assuming that three wise men visited Bethlehem, because they brought three gifts. But the narrative doesn't tell us that. There may have been a horde of wise men, or only two.

More importantly, we may assume that following Jesus is a chore, but if you ask folk at Redeemer they will tell a different story. It's natural to superimpose our preconceptions on God and make assumptions based on those preconceptions. We ask questions of God with an expectation of what the answer will be, rather than open our minds to explore alternatives outside our expectations.

So, I have two challenges for you.

1. Next time you are catching up with a friend, actively listen. Slow down and explore what they are sharing with you. You'll soon build a stronger friendship.
2. Push aside your preconceptions about Jesus and explore what he has to say. If you do, you'll quickly discover someone surprising.

You can do both of these over a meal in a restaurant this Tuesday.

Redeemer will pay.

Redeemer is hosting 'Christianity Explored', an opportunity to ask some really searching questions. 

Quick, email hello@redeemerlondon.org to get the details!

FATHER IS A VERB

We're community, and the community works best with strong relationships. It can be tempting to live life with the mantra "Family first", to put me and mine before those I rub shoulders with daily. But that path deprives us of community. I was fortunate to have strong role models around me outside my immediate family to supplement the parenting I got at home.  That helped mould me as a person.

I now live as part of a local community in Ealing and as part of a church community called Redeemer.  I'm thankful that I still benefit from the support and friendship of those I worship with.

One aspect of this is benefiting from the fatherly care of my pastor and people like him.

The poem that follows celebrates this fathering I've received over the years, from older cousins, mentors, friends and pastors.  And from my late dad, the 'Honey Monster'.

(With great thanks to Godfrey Rust, who wrote a wonderful poem called 'Church is a verb'.)

Father is a verb.

Father's Day; and
Father Christmas
have tried to convince us,
but don't be fooled:
You can, may or will father,
depending on your mood.
For father is a verb.

It only works in the transitive;
you can't father alone,
only in relationship.

It doesn't resent hospital trips,
and offers wrap-around comfort
when a partnership
splits.

It's touch-line volume
drowns out all rivals.
And belly laughs come standard
with jokes on recycle.
Yes, father is a verb.

It's something that men do,
despite the hour,
it drives right on through
the night when life’s gone sour.
It'll hammer ten finger nails
to get the job done.

It will dance, heedless of decorum
forgetting reputation
(- with an ill-suited hat on).

It turns manliness
into awesome-men-ness,
it tempers strength
with a dose of gentleness. Yes,
father is a verb.

It works in the singular:
I can father;
you can father
      (I'm not talking sex here;
      that takes a partner.)
It works in the plural:
we can father; and
they can father, because,
you see, in this village
it's an joint activity,
we father (and mother)
collaboratively.

It works best in the present tense,
happening now, not "LATER!"
-
It can be said in a gentle voice
or something - even - quieter;

sometimes active: directive, protecting;
but often responsive: just sitting, listening;
...holding and hugging;
it responds to need, you see,
but works best
proactively,
works great
sacrificially.

For example,

though it cost him dearly,
God Fathers us
and through us daily.
And one day, suit pressed,
He'll proudly walk
with the bride of Christ.
And as Father of the bride,
He'll host the party and blow the price;

(- BIGGEST - bar-bill - EVER)

And we'll be sure to save at least one dance
for Father.

Oh yes, you heard:
Father is a verb.

If you are looking for community, you'll find it at Redeemer.  Come and introduce yourself.

TAKE THIS CHANCE TO UNDERSTAND GOD BETTER

Christianity is misunderstood by many people.

People I know who don't know Christianity frequently tell me that they wouldn't like it, because:

• the rules make life boring - there are no rules in Christianity
• Christians are out-of-touch and hate the LGBTQ community - that is certainly true about a vocal minority who claim to be Christians, but isn't true about any Christian I've ever met
• Jesus wasn't a real person - the historical evidence would suggest otherwise

So Christianity is definitely misunderstood by people who aren't Christians.

But it is also misunderstood by Christians.

Christians are really happy to talk about God as a loving Father. Almost every stereotypical view of the Christian God plays on this picture.

Christians are also happy to talk about God as the Son, Jesus. Countless books, magazines, TV programmes, films and websites have been devoted to Jesus of Nazareth.

But Christians tend to avoid the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit was called the Holy Ghost a few hundred years ago - and who wants to think about ghosts?

Churches that talk about the Holy Spirit tend to be really weird and uncomfortable places. Lots of shouting, hand-waving and flapping around on the floor like a fish gasping for air.

The problem is that the Holy Spirit seems really important!

The Bible starts talking about the Holy Spirit on the opening page and is still talking about him on the closing page.

Jesus himself says that life would be better off if we only ever met the Holy Spirit (John 16:7).

Maybe we should understand him?

On 25 June, I'm putting on a day all about the Holy Spirit. Why not come along?

We're meeting in Northfields at 10am. We'll be done by 3pm, and the day will include:

• Inspiring Bible-based talks about who the Holy Spirit is, what he does, and practical observations on how to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
• A free lunch!
• Time to discuss what we're learning throughout the day with others on the same journey.
• Dedicated space to receive from the Holy Spirit in a safe, low-pressure environment.

If you're planning on coming it would be great to know so that I can get the right amount of food! Please email hello@redeemerlondon.org with your name and any dietary requirements, and we'll get back with all the details.

You are very welcome!

MY SON GAVE ME A GIFT THAT TRANSPORTED ME TO AN EXCITING TIME

I must be a marketer's dream...

Just saying, even thinking, the word Ray-Ban makes me smile!

Who doesn’t love Elwood and Jake in the film The Blues Brothers, wearing those cool glasses?

I love the summer and the sunshine.

Life can seem so much better when the sky is blue, the sun is hot and the shades are on.

Memories come flooding back of time spent in the past at the beach, enjoying a stroll beside quiet rivers, and stopping for a cold pint.

My son kindly bought me a new pair of Ray-Bans for Christmas. This week I took them out of the box and have appreciated wearing them.

(He's a generous lad - although a student - I'm not going to ask if they're a genuine pair!)

I must have hit mid-life because I even have an old pair of Ray-Bans just for the car…it's good to have a pair of glasses close to hand, you never know when you might need them.

Which season of the year do you most enjoy?

The sight of Ray-Bans reminds me of the joy of summer.

What object do you most connect with it?

Sometimes God speaks to us through a simple object or a picture that means so much more. We love to allow space for God to speak whenever we gather as Redeemer.

Why not come along on Sunday to see what God would like to say to you?

HANWELL'S BEST HANGOUT

Among the things I love about living in Hanwell are the great parks, the canal I can walk, run or cycle beside, easy access to Ealing and London, the great schools (I teach in one of them!), the fantastic sense of community here and events that encourage this (we recently had the Hanwell Hootie)...and The Clocktower café! 

I'm very fortunate to only work four days a week, so I love to visit the café on my day off each Friday. It's a great place to relax and hang out!

What do I love most about this café?

• I love the quirky, vintage interior and the different array of seating from bar stools to armchairs and sofas to benches with cushions – a very ‘homely’ environment in which to unwind
• I love the fact that I always bump into someone I know from the local area – it really is a great place to connect with others from the community
• I love the fresh, authentic, home-made food that is available from breakfast to brunch and lunch – not to mention the delicious cakes that are pretty irresistible (the Battenberg being a favourite!)
• I love the slowed-down, relaxed feeling you get there – you are never hurried away – you are always made to feel very welcome by the staff
• I love the fact that it's on my doorstep so I can enjoy it as often as I like – it really is one of Hanwell’s great treasures

If you haven't been – why not check it out on Facebook?

It's good to discover places where you can hang out, and be refreshed from the busyness of life.

I love gathering with the Redeemer community on Sundays to know God’s refreshing and empowering presence in our lives

Jesus said:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28)

And one of the early church leaders explained the truth of gathering together:

...that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord... (Acts 3:20)

Why not come and hang out this Sunday?

I trust that you will also feel welcomed, feel that you have 'come home’, enjoy the coffee and cakes, and know something of God’s peace for you in the busyness of your life.

FIVE LESSONS I LEARNED IN MIAMI

I need a holiday!

We all say that at some point in life, don't we?

My husband Mark loves to travel.

Before we got together he had already travelled half the world, and I feel like I've travelled the other half since marrying him.

I'm so privileged to have been able to travel around a lot of England and Wales - I love the UK and would quite happily take all of my holiday exploring villages, coastlines and cities...but having kids hasn't stopped Mark wanting to explore what our stunning, God-created world has to offer.

My maternity leave has just come to an end.

Mark and I thought it would be great to make the most of my final days at home and take the boys on holiday - not least because school holiday prices are horrendous!

Our next decision: Where do we go?

Mark is an adventurous man, so said:

Argentina! The boys will love it, and we can get a camper van!

We actually spent some time travelling around New Zealand in a camper van on my last maternity leave.

As much fun as I am sure that would have been, I declined.

Two boys under three in a confined camper van exploring a country where we don't speak the language? Thanks, but no thanks!

We went to Dubai with both boys in February and had a great time.

Hot weather, city, beach ticked all the boxes for us.

So we decided to go to Miami, Florida.

The flight was almost 9 hours each way with a 5 hour time difference to the UK.

Jet lag + sleepless nights + long-distance travelling + toddlers might not be everyone's idea of fun!

We spent two days in Orlando visiting Disney parks, which isn't very long. Most people go for at least two weeks and visit all the parks. Both were great, and Levi fulfilled his dream of meeting Buzz Lightyear!

Zachary was none the wiser, but he's mastered the art of crawling, so it's a good job we didn't go with the camper van idea!

We then spent a week on the beach in Miami.

Sand, sun, swimming pools, ice creams, cocktails...bliss!

But Mark and I couldn't sit still for a whole week, so we did a few road trips, one of which involved seeing wild alligators!

We all had a great time and were glad to spend some quality family time together.

So, here you go. My five things for you to take away.

1. Travel
   Explore the world, the country, or even just the town you live in! Walk a different way home from the station - you may find a hidden gem in your local area you never knew was there.
2. Do "Your Thing"
   Mark would say: "Travelling is my thing"! What is your thing? Do it and enjoy it!
3. Create memories
   Be around the ones you love - family and friends - and share life together. Take photos to look back on when you're older.
4. Be thankful
   I'm so grateful for my privileged life. I need to remember to thank Jesus more for what he has blessed me with - a good job, money and the chance to go on holiday.
5. Love being local!
   Enjoy your surroundings, the people around you and what Ealing has to offer.

HERE'S HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD MAKE EALING EVEN HAPPIER.

Ever since the Panama Papers news story, I've been thinking a lot about money. Then I read this, in the Financial Times of all places.

A couple of weeks ago the top 'reader's question' in the Management section was essentially:

My partner and I have similar jobs at the same organisation. He just got a 20% pay rise. Should I force him to pay 20% more than I do towards rent and other expenses? What do you think?

The answer to this relationship issue is obvious to me.

Forget about the money.

Surely a relationship is priceless.

I love my job.
But if my employer didn't pay me, I wouldn't turn up to work.
I don't get paid to be a husband and a daddy, but I still turn up anyway.

Dear Financial Times reader: I assume you love your partner. Why not try being generous to them with your money?

---

Money has a way of appearing incredibly important.

We've been sold the idea that more money will make us happier, in spite of celebrities' ludicrous lifestyles that publicly fall apart on the pages of every newspaper.

For example, it's easy to judge wealthy people who can afford to avoid tax, but I can guarantee you two things:

1. If you or I were in the same situation, we'd do exactly the same thing. Don't even pretend that you wouldn't. When the Government announces an increase in a tax-free allowance, I don't tell them to keep my money anyway. Tax avoidance is legal, and should be expected. (As opposed to tax evasion.)
2. If a wealthy person is happy, it's not down to their wealth. They'll be happy because of the relationships in their life, or experiences they're having.

So...

QUESTION: How much money do I need to be happy?
ANSWER: Just a little bit more.

I implore you, don't stake your happiness on the amount you earn or your bank balance.

Instead, please look at all the evidence and realise that you'll be happier if you're more generous, regardless of how wealthy you are.

Here's the really good news...

Every Sunday we have an opportunity to get happier by giving away our money - Redeemer will use it to transform Ealing and support others around London and around the world!

There's only one question left:

How happy do you actually want to be?

I HAD TO USE A SHIELD FOR MY JOB. HERE'S HOW IT CHANGED THE WAY I LIVE MY LIFE.

Captain America 3 will soon be with us, this time with Spider-man in action as well!

Cap's iconic shield flying through the air and amazingly returning to him is a sight that I never tire from seeing.

Yes, I'm a fan, and have been since my exposure to Marvel comics as a child of the 60s. 

But my real life exposure to working with a shield is somewhat different.

In 1981 I joined the Metropolitan Police Force. (Yes, back then it was called a force rather than a service.)

At the age of 19 I was walking the streets of Lewisham trying to keep law and order. 1981 was the year of the inner city riots, and as a result my basic training included shield training.

I learned how to hide behind a 5 foot 6 inch shield, interlocked with two others with a third in position above my head, huddled together with a unit of six officers.

4 shields, 6 officers, shuffling forward with projectiles raining down on us, trying to get close enough to arrest someone or to work with other units to control a crowd.

Depending on your politics and experience of the police that may sound exciting or scary.

My perspective has certainly changed over time.

But one thing my experience of being in the middle of a shield unit has given me is a perspective on something the apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:

"Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." 

Paul wrote this when the Roman Empire was in charge.

Roman soldiers carried a type of shield that was designed to be used in concert with their fellow soldiers. It formed a wall, sometimes in defense, sometimes as an offensive tactic. Yes, they could be used individually, but there was always a call for them to be used together. This was called a Testudo formation. 

Here are a couple of things I learned from my experience of using a shield.

First, a shield worth having is heavy, especially when you're standing around waiting for something to happen. But a strange thing happens when it's time to lift it up and lock it in with the shields either side of you ready for action. The weight is that much easier to carry because you are focusing on what it's doing for you and for those around you. At times like that, the weight is secondary. And the more you use it, the easier it is to handle.

Second, situations that seem really scary are a lot more straightforward to deal with when you have a bunch of people with you that you trust and are trained to use their shields. For example, a deranged guy waving a samurai sword around an inner London housing estate is easier to deal with when you have a team with shields to work alongside you.

There's a direct application here of how to live a life of faith.

1. The more you act in faith the more proficient you'll become.
2. You don't need to stand alone. There's strength to be gained from standing alongside those who share the same faith you have in Christ.

So forget the image of Captain America standing alone with his frisbee shield. Instead, take up the Roman-style shield of faith and stand shoulder-to-shoulder together with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Together we make a formidable force against whatever gets thrown our way.

HOW MY LOVE FOR ARSENAL HAS COST ME

I have been a fan of the greatest North London team since my older brother informed me at primary school that ‘they are our team’.

I'm talking about Arsenal.

As a child, I wanted to wear the kit, had posters all round my room of the players and loved anything with their badge attached. Pencil case, rubber and ruler all became more valuable if painted red and white.

I have been faithful to the Gunners throughout the years...

• Drinking tea out of an Arsenal mug as a student
• Wearing the scarf on playground duty when a primary school teacher
• Instructing my kids ‘they are our team’
• Even preaching about the club at church - they are the only team mentioned in the Bible (Jeremiah 50:25)

Despite all this I still struggle this season…

I thought after the FA Cup final last year, and the sudden drop of form of Manchester United and Chelsea, that this would be our year!

Yet here I am at the beginning of May, still hopeful that we can make fourth place in the Premier League to scrape into European football again next season.

This faithfulness to Arsenal costs me - in time, emotion and money.

What are you faithful to, and what is it costing you?

I encouraged us in a sermon recently that Christians should pray, serve and give. So let me make that challenge again.

Will you pray?

Will you serve?

Will you give?

RICH? CHECK. FAMOUS? CHECK. HAPPY? LET'S CHECK...

There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were.

Over 80% said that a major life goal was to get rich. 50% said that a major life goal was to become famous.

But does becoming rich and famous actually lead to a happy and fulfilled life?

Recently I spoke at our Sunday service about this very question.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development studied this topic, and it may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years, they've tracked the lives of 724 men, year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, and their health.

In this TED talk, Robert Waldinger (Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development), explains their findings:

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.

End of story.

Social connections are really good for us, and loneliness turns out to be toxic.

People who are more socially connected to family, to friends, and to community, are happier, physically healthier, and even live longer than people who are less connected.

People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy. Their health declines sooner, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they die sooner.

It's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship...but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

If we're honest, we all know deep down that this is true - relationships are really significant.

Deepening our relationships with God and others has the capacity to change our hearts more than money or fame ever will.

Let me encourage you to invest in relationships rather than material things.

If you haven’t ever visited Redeemer on a Sunday, let me take this opportunity to extend a warm invitation to you to do so.

If you haven’t been to church in a while, or ever before...that’s fine. We were all in your shoes at one point.

But more than anything else, I want you to know that our Sunday service is a safe place, free from judgement but full of hospitality, love and grace.

Redeemer is a great place to build friendships and meet new people.

You can find out more about our Sunday services here.

SIR ANDREW PUT ALL HIS EGGS IN ONE BASKET, AND SO DID I. WILL YOU?

Did you know...the global headquarters of one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the world is at the bottom of Boston Manor Road.

GSK produces medicines, vaccines and consumer products. It has a strong heritage of innovation in healthcare, and its CEO, Andrew Wittty, was knighted in 2012 for services to the economy and the UK pharmaceutical industry.

I read in the Financial Times recently that the company recently began searching for a replacement CEO. Witty has spent his entire career at GSK and has been CEO for eight years.

Witty is a home-grown talent, and at 51 years old is still relatively young - why would GSK allow him to leave?

This article claimed that under Mr Witty’s leadership, the company has faced challenges, including a bribery scandal in China and financial performance that some people are not impressed with.

But a GSK took a very bold strategic decision that got some strong voices to begin to call for change.

GSK decided to swap its cancer drugs for vaccines and consumer goods. They reasoned that GSK would be in a better place commercially with high-volume, low-price products. Cancer drugs have a higher price per unit, but many obstacles stop them getting approved and sold for profit.

Mr Witty took the company’s ‘eggs’ out of the cancer treatment ‘basket’ and put them in the vaccine/consumer goods ‘basket’, going against the general thinking in the industry and the shareholder community.

Mr Witty remains confident that his strategy will pay off, but he appears to have bet on it with a career of over 30 years and the leadership of the company where he spent his entire career.

Time will tell if he was right or wrong.

Have you ever taken a risk and put all your eggs in one basket?

What was the outcome of your decision?

I once put all my eggs in one basket. As a student, I was involved in a competition where we formed a team, and bid for the opportunity to solve business problems for companies.

We could only bid for a maximum of three projects, and once we accepted an offer we had to exit the entire bidding process. There were six in my team, and two people were responsible for each project that we were bidding for.

We were successful in securing the first two projects that we went for.  

The problem was that our third pitch, to be held the next day, was for the project we really wanted, and I was the leader for that pitch. We had to decide, that day, whether to play safe and keep one of the two projects that we had already secured, or give them up and gamble on getting our first choice.

I had a dream about our first choice project; I woke up, prayed about it and was confident to go for it.

Despite my attempt to persuade the team, the other team members were unsure, so we took a vote. The vote hung on a knife edge at three votes to two. The last member of the team finally cast his vote in favour of taking the gamble; we rejected the two secured projects, and I had two very important jobs to do.

1. I had to call the bid coordinator and reject the two secured projects.
2. I had to lead the pitch for our first choice project.

Once I did the first task (not an easy conversation), the second task became easier.

We were all united…the only acceptable outcome for us was to win that bid!

I delivered the pitch, we got the project, and were given £20,000 to do the work. We had put our eggs in the right basket! 

At some point in our lives, we will all be faced with big questions.

To what cause will you devote your life?

In whom will you put your faith?

There will be alternatives to consider and a decision to be made, with each alternative presenting its own set of benefits and consequences. Not making a decision is one of the options, with its own benefits and consequences.

So how will you make your choice?

If you like looking at evidence as a basis for decision-making, look at Jesus.

Like Mr Witty, he was a leader who devoted his entire public ministry to providing health solutions, catering for the spiritual and physical wellbeing of the people. Like Mr Witty, he upset the leaders of his community with his recommended strategy for success.

Jesus made a number of bold claims including the suggestion that he can deliver a fulfilled life, give peace, provide hope, and that he is the way to God.

Jesus said that everyone who wants access to God should put their faith in him.

He also said that he would die and be raised from the dead. The leaders of his time finally had enough and put paid to his career by executing him.

Mr Witty’s legacy remains in the uncertain hands of history, but Jesus’ legacy is secure.

True to his word, he died and was raised from the dead after three days, regularly remembered by over a billion people all over the world.

If you are looking for a proven basket in which to put your eggs, choose Jesus.

FOUR WORDS THAT WILL TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH PEOPLE

It is what it is.

That phrase is used a lot in my workplace.

It's one of those silly work sayings that means nothing until you're in work, and then it means everything. Just like:

• Let's touch base.
• Let's take that offline.
• We really need more of a helicopter view.
• Let's focus on the low hanging fruit.
• We can get back together once we've got all our ducks in a row.

But I like saying that it is what it is. It makes me feel better when making a decision that brings a down-side with it.

• Getting someone in to look at our oven costs a lot? It is what it is.
• Taking a Thursday off to help at Crafternoon leads to an extremely busy Friday? It is what it is.
• Grocery delivery ran out of bread? It is what it is.

But for Anna - my wife - the phrase is more than a touch ridiculous.

Of course it is what it is! What else would it be?!

But sometimes putting language around something can help to define it, and help us to understand it.

This is particularly important when it comes to relating to people. People are all unique, but using language to describe common features can be helpful in understanding why some people are so unique!

So allow me to categorise everyone in the whole world, using a model developed by Roger Reid and John Merrill.

Begin by thinking about whether you prefer to talk or listen, and whether you prefer to deal with people or facts.

• Talking + people: Expressive. You enjoy being centre of attention, laughing a lot, and team games. Pictures on slides are much more fun than words, and the only good thing about spreadsheets is making pretty graphs that tell a story. People may perceive you as being flippant.
• Talking + facts: Directive. The motto you give your people is ‘Be brief, be bright, be gone.’ You like to look at the big facts, tell people what you think, and expect them to act on it. You’re ambitious, and people can sometimes perceive you as being arrogant.
• Listening + people: Amiable. You don’t like being put under lots of pressure at work, but can be a dependable part of any team. You prefer stability over change. You’re the person who likes to get to know their colleagues at a personal level. Everyone who meets you thinks you’re nice…but perhaps the perception is that you’re not quite motivated enough.
• Listening + facts: Analytical. You’re a details guru. Your strength isn’t in thinking on your feet, but give you five minutes with a spreadsheet and you’ll pick flaws in anyone’s idea. Some people perceive you as being socially awkward.

Don't worry if you don't like being categorised like this, that's because you're Analytical. (Jokes.)

I find this model really helpful, but there's something I've found even more helpful when dealing with people.

Just be friendly.

I've discovered that the secret to getting on with anyone is just to be friendly - everyone likes that!

I'm sorry, but it is what it is.

And I have the perfect offer to make you, to allow you to be friendly.

Redeemer is about to open up registration for the new set of meetups. Sign up for one as soon as you can.

Don't miss out!