It was great to see so many people at our Good Friday meeting on zoom this morning! If you weren’t able to join us, or you simply wanted to read them again, we will be posting all four of our monologues from this morning on the blog today! The monologues help to convey the feelings of four people mentioned in John 19.

Our second monologue is from the perspective of a soldier…

I really REALLY hate this job

Years of training, promises that’ll serve Caesar ‘for the glory of Rome!’ and see the world

– and I end up in this God-forsaken, stinking, armpit of a country, populated by mad men.

[SIGH]

Here we go again – bigger crowd than usual I see – oh that’s great, another messiah to crucify. Will they ever learn?

Well, that makes a change, even his own lot seem to be against him, they’re usually chanting, weeping or whaling by the time they get here, not jeering and calling for blood. Like I said – mad men!

Yes, boss, straight away.

Up you come, matey. This is your cross to bear.

Move! You know you only have yourself to blame – you brought this on yourself -

Stand back you lot, give the man room. We’re on a schedule.

Right, boss.

Come on, Fix, you’re with me – let’s get this done. Claud, Jules, you know the drill, do it like we practiced – tie him securely, one nail in each lower arm, one though the feet.

Oh, just Ignore him, hold him firm, one of yer hold the arm and the other take the nail. That’s right, one swift movement, do it right first time - it’ll be enough to hold him.

Claud, get a hold of yourself, its only blood. Be professional – there’s a crowd watching.

Where’s that notice board, what’s to be written here? What’s the charge, boss?

Is that meant to be funny? No, I didn’t mean anything by it, if that’s what Pilate wants, here you go, “JESUS – OF – NAZ -A -RETH. - THE - KING - OF - THE - JEWS.“

What – no mate, I’m not re-writing anything – it is what is it. THE KING OF THE JEWS – what’s written is written.

Fix – do you think the boss is behaving a bit strange? He seems a little distracted.

Never mind. Okay – here Fix, it’s your turn to divi up his stuff. Hang on, no don’t rip that – look, it’s quality, seamless. Throw the dice for that one.

Jules, keep an eye on those women. No, they can chat to him, but no touching the cross.

Yeah, okay, but they use the sponge – and only wine vinegar – he won’t be needing decent wine where he’s going.

Right, boss, we’re done, we’ll settle in for the wait – this may take a while.

… What’s that he said? “Finished!?!” Hah, don’t you wish. It’s nowhere finished for you lad – you’ve got a world of pain coming before you can shuffle off.

Sorry boss. Disrespect? Come on , he’s just a – No, of course, no, no … sorry.

Blimey Fix, I think the boss has been here too long, he’s saying some strange stuff.

…. What do you mean he’s gone. It’s only been a few hours.

Show me – no give it here, I’ll do it.

… Well, he is dead. No, no need to break his legs, he’s finished.

That doesn’t make sense – I know my job,

Did he just decide to die?
Who’s in charge here – Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews, or me?
Who has the authority here? This Jesus or us?

WILL YOU SHUT THOSE WOMEN UP! I can’t think.

Listen, Fix, let’s keep quiet about this – we’ve got a reputation to maintain.

What? Now boss, calm down. Listen to yourself – I know he died a bit different than expected – but the Son of God? Boss, are those tears?

I don’t know, Fix – this has got too weird.

I REALLY hate this job.

Written by Steve Page