Oh My Soul!

Have you been hearing voices?  Or to be more precise, a voice, when alone in the house?

During these months of lockdown to one degree or another, have you heard yourself giving a narration to everyday activities?  Or giving yourself some much-needed advice?  Maybe you’ve even held a timely conversation with yourself?

One egg or two?  Oh, go on, you deserve 2.  Right-o-then, 2 it is.

Where did I put it?  I didn’t leave it in the car, did I?  Oh, blast.

When was the last time you heard Neil Diamond?  “Sweet Caroline! Da, Da, Daaa!..”

Just me?  I didn’t think so.

The good news is, I’ve just been reading how self-talk (or ‘private speech when said out loud) is okay, and might even be good for you.

Thinking Out Loud

Thinking problems through in spoken language is helpful.  Children do it.  Adults do too, when left alone.  

It’s okay.  Words said out loud is a perfectly natural response to the pressures of lockdown.

And you’re in good company.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why are you so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Saviour and my God.”
Psalm 42:5

“Awake my soul!  Awake, harp and lyre. I will awaken the dawn!”
Ps 57:8

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.”
Ps 62.5

“Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.”
Ps 103.1

“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”
Ps 116.7

Sometimes you just need a good talking to.

Go on.  Give it a go. 

As a starter, I recommend this worship song, ‘Remember’ (the chorus starts, “And oh, my soul…”)

Written by Steve Page

Steve is Redeemer’s resident poet, and has been instrumental in encouraging and motivating other creative individuals at Redeemer to pursue the gifting God has placed in them! You can read his poetry HERE, or find his anthologies on Amazon.

Online Church Continues!

We may have recently begun meeting in person again at Redeemer, but that doesn’t mean our online content has slowed down! Below are details of all the great online content you can still find at youtube.com/RedeemerChurchLondon

Monday Testimony!

Every Monday you can hear from a member of the Redeemer family about how their relationship with God has changed their life! Whether it be through a specific part of scripture, a one off experience, or a gradual transformation. Take the opportunity to be challenged and inspired by what God is doing in the hearts and minds of the people here at Redeemer!

Worship Wednesdays

On a Wednesday we worship! (Well, every day we worship…) but on a Wednesday specifically we release a video created by the Redeemer worship team, which you can use to lift your eyes, your hands, and your voice in worship! Sing, dance and clap along with the team as we seek to give glory to God, and put him at the centre of our lives again as we reach the centre of our working week.

Faith Locked Down

On a Friday we are going to be sharing previews of Redeemer’s new book - Faith Locked Down! A collection of psalms, prayers and poems written by some of our gifted creatives at Redeemer, these videos aim to stir your faith, and remind you that God is at work even in the midst of a difficult year! If you like the videos, why not pick up a copy of the book!

Sunday Services

Although we are meeting physically at the University of West London every Sunday, we recognise that for various reasons, some of you are unable to join us in person. We would love you to continue to join us online, and we’ll be streaming the service live each week. There will still be the opportunity to worship alongside the rest of the church, hear great teaching, and even text in contributions to be shared with those in the room as well as those watching online.

As well as regular new videos, there is already a collection of playlists and videos ready for you to watch right now! So what are you waiting for?! Click the link below to get involved, and don’t forget to subscribe!

#RedeemerRecommends - Evangelism in the Arts

Right now, the arts are going through the toughest time in living memory, and we know that within our Redeemer family, there are performers, teachers, choreographers and many more individuals who are involved in the arts. We also are a church full of people who love and appreciate the arts and the impact they have on the borough of Ealing, the city of London, and the rest of the world!

We also believe that the incredible artistic gifting within our church is not just a coincidence, and that God can and will use it to impact those around us in Ealing. In fact we don’t just believe it in principle but we have also seen it in practice with the release of a book - Faith Locked Down, which was published this summer and includes some examples of the incredible creativity that is present within the Redeemer family!

That leads us to today’s #RedeemerRecommends. Last year, at the Gospel Coalition conference in the US, one of the breakout sessions focused on Evangelism in the Arts. Todd Goranson, founder of Trifonia Winds and the Junction Saxophone Quartet, and Steve Rooks, chair of dance and resident choreographer at Vasser College, New York, led the discussion, which focused on how we can affect our communities with the gospel through the arts. They also talk about how artistic excellence leads to effective engagement, and highlight influential organisations such as the Christian Performing Arts Fellowship and Creative Arts Europe.

It is a fascinating and inspiring listen, and will bless both artists and lovers of art alike, as we realise the power that the arts hold when it comes to evangelism and local or global mission.

The recording of the session, which includes a Q&A section at the end, is available below.

Evangelism in the Arts

Todd Goranson & Steve Rooks

#RedeemerRecommends - Faith Locked Down

Over the course of lockdown there has been a wealth of content produced by the incredible creative individuals here at Redeemer (though the blog took a bit of a summer break!) As we look forward to returning to physical services again, we thought we would restart the blog with a home grown edition of #RedeemerRecommends, and point you towards some of the inspiring and challenging pieces of writing produced by the Redeemer Creatives over the past six months.

These Psalms, Prayers, Poems, Posts and Portraits tell the story of how some of our closest friends and family have processed the events of 2020 so far through the written word, I hope that as you read them you are inspired, challenged and comforted, but most of all I hope your faith is stirred, and your eyes are drawn not towards the mountains you may face, but to the one who can move them.

Some of the co-authors of the book have recorded audio versions of their written pieces, you can find them on the Redeemer Youtube channel, or by following the link below.

I’ll leave the final word to our senior pastor, Pete Cornford…

“During these difficult and uncertain times these believers have fought for faith and we get to walk the path behind them. Raw, honest and real; let their encounters ignite and fan your faith!”

Lockdown Diaries - Mandy

Today we launch a new blog series - Lockdown Diaries, where we hear from members of our Redeemer family about how they have seen God at work in their lives, even in the middle of the current lockdown.

Today’s lockdown diary is written by Mandy Hudson.

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“We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.”

 2 Chronicles 20v12

We are living through probably the most unsettling few weeks of our lives.

I’ve been a Christian for over forty-three years now and have been blessed by having a close relationship with Jesus. My personal circumstances haven’t always been easy, but God has proved His faithfulness time and time again.

Just before lockdown, my care needs had been re-assessed by adult social care. The process, which had been nothing short of traumatic three years ago was miraculously completed in eight weeks enabling me to benefit from agency care when the social isolation rules were enforced.

This is just one example of God’s marvellous provision for me in these difficult times we are all facing. 

The most unsettling part of this crisis for me was when we were moving towards lockdown. I found myself having to shift gear from a life hurtling at great speed to a complete standstill in a matter of days.

I wasn’t at all well when the lockdown began. It’s at these times of greatest weakness, I find that God makes His power and strength perfect. He proves His grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12 v9). What a comfort to be safe resting in Jesus at these times.

Don’t get me wrong - these are tough times. 

I thought I’d be able to roll along in my own little happy spiritual bubble – until the morning I woke up to find someone had dumped a bed immediately outside my flat. I was so angry and upset by it. I had to realise one can never escape one’s own bad temper!

Thank you, Jesus, that you love us unconditionally and are constantly refining our character. These weeks are the perfect opportunity to learn more about how we live life to the full as we keep our eyes fixed on Him

Hallelujah!

Mandy Hudson

Spring and Covid-19

‘Oh to be in England, now that April’s there!’ so wished the famous poet… and I agree wholeheartedly!

Spring has always been my favourite season in the UK – things springing to life everywhere you look - it always reminds me of God’s gift of life to us – ‘once we were dead, but now we are alive!’ Hallelujah!

I sit at my window and gaze at the bushes opposite me, their new shoots are bright red, reminding me of the blood of Jesus which brings new life.  The cherry tree opposite my bedroom window – it has actually begun to flower and is almost full of pink blossom.  Oh God, my heart wants to cry out, You are such an amazing God. Your creation boasts of You! And it is but a pale reflection of Your beauty.

But although my heart is full of wonder at God’s creation, I cannot enjoy it as I have been doing, year after year.

This year it’s different!  I am not in it, among it!  I am not standing under the cherry blossom tree and looking up into the sky through its amazing brand-new flowers – in fact I cannot even touch it! 

Why? Because of COVID 19. 

My husband and I are in self-isolation. We gaze out in admiration, but cannot be part of it in the same way. And yet – I am grateful for this visible sign that there is new life in Christ, that God is still the same, He is on the throne and that ‘there is a season (time) for everything!’. Things may change and we can feel that we are on shifting sands, but at the same time, the trees bloom, the daffodils appear, the rose bushes begin to bud… God is on the throne of the universe and new life continues as before!

And then, of course, come the difficult moments, the temptation to forget all this, as we hear of the rising rate of deaths, in the UK and worldwide. Of friends and families of our friends who are fighting for their lives; as we watch the news; read the many messages on social media and listen to the videos of those who are experiencing the full horror of this disease. 

As we hear non-believing friends ask ‘where is your God in all of this?  Why does He allow this?’

And what can we say?  We don’t have the definite answers to these questions, only suggestions. 

But we have a choice – either to allow the enemy to bring us down and feel hopeless, helpless. Or to turn to the truth of God’s word that God is a good Father and He will never let go of us, especially in the tough times. We can consciously decide to focus on the manifestation of His glory before our very eyes! Yes, it is a tough road to have to travel, but we are on it, and God invites us to focus on Him and His beauty around us, rather than on the circumstances surrounding us!

Yes, I would prefer to stroll through the gardens outside, to see the children playing as they always do, to smell the new roses, admire the apple and cherry blossoms from close up. To feel the welcome warmth of the spring sunshine on my face.  But they are there, nevertheless, and the creation constantly points me to the Creator!  Reminding me that He is the same, yesterday, today and forever and that nothing catches Him by surprise!

Written by Adele Dabrowski

Resurrection Monologues - Thomas

On Good Friday we published ‘The Golgotha Monologues’ four monologues written from the perspectives of people who would have been there on the very first Good Friday. But we know that after Good Friday comes Easter Sunday, after Jesus’ death comes his resurrection, and so, today we are publishing ‘The Resurrection Monologues’!

The fourth is from the perspective of Thomas.

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It had been a week since Passover.  We were still staying behind locked doors.  There were all kinds of rumours and we couldn’t be sure what would happen next.  And the others had me worried.  

We’d all been through a lot.  Two weeks previous it seemed like Jesus was going to overturn Roman rule, it was like he’d been taken off the leash – telling the authorities exactly what we thought of them.

Then - Judas!   I can’t believe he set Jesus up like that -

It happened so fast, one minute we were celebrating Passover – God’s great deliverance of his people - and then within a few short hours our world fell apart.  I thought I was ready to die for him, but we ran - and we left him to face the soldiers alone.  

It was a mockery of a trial.  They couldn’t wait to get rid of him.

Seeing Jesus flogged and nailed to that cross; hearing his cries, seeing his mother break down - we we’re devastated.  I admit I couldn’t hang around, I went off by myself, to get my head straight.

And then the others started going crazy.  First the women and then the guys.  Even Peter, I hadn’t expected him to lose it.  They said the tomb was empty - that they’d seen the Rabbi – but that was impossible, we all saw him die.

Part of me was tempted to believe it, but I told them – unless I saw with my own two eyes, I couldn’t accept it; it was too fantastic.  

I’d seen him – I saw his body – lifeless and beaten.  So, unless I saw the same nail marks, unless I put my hand into his side, where they’d pierced him, I couldn’t believe it.  

They continued to try and convince me, but I wouldn’t have it.  I was such as fool.  

He came.

He stood there – in our locked room - and he looked straight at me.  I was dumbfounded.

And then he had me place my hands on his scars – they were real – just where I saw them pierce him, just where the nails went in – but his flesh was now warm and very much alive.  

What do you think I did?

I exclaimed, “My Lord and my God!”  It was true – he wasn’t our Rabbi – he’d shown himself to be our God.

And he stayed.  We spoke with him, peppering him with questions, and he ate with us, he fished with us.  Those were the best days.  

I’m not sure he wanted to go – but in the end he did; he went back to his Father.

So that leaves us to tell our story – to tell his story.  And even though you didn’t get to see him, you can believe it – we are his first-hand witnesses:  

Jesus of Nazareth, teacher, healer - the man who was sentenced to death and who died – he is the Son of God and his Father has raised him to life.

And because he lives, we can start a new forgiven life.  Even fools like me.  Believe me – it’s true.  

Resurrection Monologues - Mary (Mother of Jesus)

On Good Friday we published ‘The Golgotha Monologues’ four monologues written from the perspectives of people who would have been there on the very first Good Friday. But we know that after Good Friday comes Easter Sunday, after Jesus’ death comes his resurrection, and so, today we are publishing ‘The Resurrection Monologues’!

The third is from the perspective of Mary the mother of Jesus.

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O Lord, my Saviour, my spirit rejoices in you, for you....

-

Oh, Jesus. This isn't as easy as I thought it would be.  Oh, my son, my child, my beloved child - now my Saviour.  My whole being worships you, and yet… in my heart I still treasure those times when it was just you and me.  Holding you close, hearing your first words, shepherding you as you took your first steps, watching over you, binding your first scrapes - you were sooo adventurous; it was always a challenge keeping you out of your father's workshop.

And now you watch over me.

Son, my heart still aches when I recall your body arched in pain, bleeding.  Your cries still haunt me. It's hard to shake the image of your lifeless body wrapped in cloth and lying - in a tomb.

Forgive me, dear son; I almost lost my mind with grief. I was blinded with my tears, and in my fear I didn't understand.  All I could feel was the sword piecing my very soul, just as old Simeon promised.

And then, when I saw you again, whole, restored....  Oh how I loved to see that smile again, to feel your arms around me once more, to hear your laughter, to draw in your warmth as we shared a simple meal, just like we used to.

But you were taken again so soon.  I know you had to go, but oh, how I missed you – to lose you again. (Deep breath)

But I'll tell your story - so many want to hear my story.  The boys promise to write it down, but I'll still tell. It thrills me every time I tell it, for how can written words capture you, your love, your presence.

Son, you spoke of a gift.  Well, as you probably know, it arrived right on time. You said that if we waited here in Jerusalem, we would be bathed in YOUR Holy Spirit.  

And now I see.

I almost weep with joy when I hear young John and the rest of your friends – your disciples - speaking in your name.  I recognise your voice, you see, I recognise your heart, in their words.

It's -

it's just like you're still here.

Thank you for not leaving your old mum alone.

I'll see you soon, my Jesus. 

Resurrection Monologues - Mary Magdalene

On Good Friday we published ‘The Golgotha Monologues’ four monologues written from the perspectives of people who would have been there on the very first Good Friday. But we know that after Good Friday comes Easter Sunday, after Jesus’ death comes his resurrection, and so, today we are publishing ‘The Resurrection Monologues’!

The second is from the perspective of Mary Magdalene

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‘Why are you crying?’

What a simple question – but oh, how complex the answer.

We had spent so much time with him – we thought we understood.  We thought we knew where this was all going.  How wrong could we be.  

After the devastation of Friday, after the silence of the sabbath, early on the first day - me, Joanna, Mary, Salome and the others had gone to the tomb with the spices.  We’d prepared them not really knowing how we were going to move the stone.  And there it was – the gapping entrance, revealing the empty tomb.

You can imagine our confusion.  We were in tears, and still crying when Peter and the others arrived.  They were no better.  And then it was just me – sitting there trying to piece it all together.

Then the angels were there, seated quite calmly, where Jesus had been laid, and they asked me - 

‘Why are you crying?’

I tried to explain and then in a moment he was there.  He was different, and at first I didn’t recognise him.  He asked me the same infuriating question.

‘Why are you crying?’

And then, as I was still blubbing, trying to tell him – he spoke my name.  

And everything changed.

He told me to go tell the others – but it wasn’t til he showed himself to them too, that they really believed.  I can’t blame them.  Something this wonderful, this miraculous… It’s hard to get your head around.

And he explained it to us - what he’d been telling us over the previous years, it all fell into place.

“The resurrection and the life.”

So, believe me when I tell you – I was there.  

Jesus, our Jesus, is alive.  He is our Lord and God and you can know him for yourself. 

Resurrection Monologues - Simon Peter

On Good Friday we published ‘The Golgotha Monologues’ four monologues written from the perspectives of people who would have been there on the very first Good Friday. But we know that after Good Friday comes Easter Sunday, after Jesus’ death comes his resurrection, and so, today we are publishing ‘The Resurrection Monologues’!

The first is from the perspective of Simon Peter

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Three times!  Three!

I know I’ve been a hot head at times – an act-first, straight-in-the-water, think-later kind of bloke, but I have my good points too.   

I’m strong – I can seem physically imposing I guess and I’m a little older than the others – maybe not as educated as some, but I’ve got a good memory and I’m not shy to tell people the truth, whether they want to hear it or not.

I’ve got a voice – I can hold a crowd and they listen.  I’ve always been one who can make myself heard. 

I’m not afraid to ask the obvious questions and say things plain – sometimes things need to be said out loud and not just assumed.

I’m not afraid to break taboos.  There can be too much talk about tradition and the way things have always been done.  Sometimes things must change.

And I thought I could add ‘reliable’ to that list – ‘loyal’ – a ‘rock’.  

When Jesus called me Rock, when he said that in front of the others, when he said he had a job for me, building his church - well I was humbled, but I could see it.  I saw myself as a leader – someone others could rely upon.

How wrong I was.

Three - times!?!

Three times I was asked – and three times I answered that I never knew the guy.  I lied just to save my own hide. And I ran – trying to out-run my betrayal. 

And later, when he came back – he didn’t just gloss over it, he asked me three times, there by the lake with the others watching - my Lord asked me and I told him.  And I meant it.

He asked me three times – ‘Do you love me?’

And I can tell you what I told him – I love him.  As my brother, as my friend, as my Lord. 

He knows how much I love him.

And with those three questions it was just as if with each ‘Do you love me?’ and with each repeated answer – ‘I love you’ - he undid my shame.

And three time he said to me: ‘Take care of my sheep.’

Three times.  That means something.

So, I’m telling you – not on my own authority; I’m telling you as one who witnesses his death and his resurrection and as a forgiven man, as a man commissioned to speak - I’m telling you confidently: 

God raised Jesus to life, and we are witnesses to that fact – God has made this Jesus who was crucified and died, both Lord and Christ.  And every one of you can be forgiven and can receive the gift of his Holy Spirit. 

Take that from a man who’s been forgiven.

Just as He Said

This Easter Sunday was different to many past Easter Sunday’s at Redeemer, but we did still get the blessing of hearing something from our resident poet - Steve Page. In case you missed it, or if you just want to read and enjoy the powerful truth again, it’s below.

P.S. I know it’s Tuesday now, but he’s still risen. Isn’t it great?!

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"Didn't He tell you
Wasn't it clear
Did you not realise
Did you not hear?
He is now risen
He is not here
He's gone on ahead
Please hold back your tears.
We won't need your spices
Don't look so amazed
Go tell everybody
His body's been raised."
So shocked and bewildered
They left the cold tomb
And ran to the others
Who hid in a room,
"Jesus has risen
He's body's not there
Let's go now and meet him
In Galilee where
He'll explain it all to us
Make clear what He said
Please don't look so worried
No need to be scared.
Jesus has risen
I tell you it's true
Let's go now and meet Him
Let's start life renewed."

Written by Steve Page

Golgotha Monologues - Joseph of Arimathea

It was great to see so many people at our Good Friday meeting on zoom this morning! If you weren’t able to join us, or you simply wanted to read them again, we will be posting all four of our monologues from this morning on the blog today! The monologues help to convey the feelings of four people mentioned in John 19.

Our fourth and final monologue is from the perspective of Joseph of Arimathea…

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“I’ve come for the body”, I said.

Pilate looked up – I think he recognised me from the Council.

“Please, can I take the body?”

We both knew who I was talking about

He spoke quietly to a guard who scurried away.  And Pilate nodded to the seats to the side – but I stood.  I waited.

It was getting dark by now – proper dark, and despite the hour, I stood.

Pilate busied himself, but glanced my way every few minutes – I think he looked curious, or it just might have been fatigue.

After what felt like an age, the guard returned and told Pilate what I already knew – Jesus was dead.

I realised then that I hadn’t stopped weeping since I walked in, perhaps that was what Pilate had been curious about.  I didn’t care, I stood where I was and said again – “Can I have the body?”

Pilate signed the warrant without a word and waved me away.  I didn’t outstay my welcome.

I got outside and looked around for Nico – he’d dosed off and I nudged him awake – “Joe?”  “Yes,” I said, “I’ve got it.” I helped him up and we stood there, hands clasped a little longer than intended.  It was good to have a friend.  We went quickly as we could – back to Golgotha.

The soldiers read the warrant and without ceremony they lifted the cruciform down, leaving us to take his body.

I think they enjoyed seeing two old men struggling with the nails, working them free, sobbing the whole time.  We worked together, neither of us were used to working with our hands and it wasn’t quick work.  We were soon bloody and hurting.  I noticed as we laboured, neither of us looked him in the face – part shame and part reluctance to look the truth in the eye.  Our Rabbi, our Lord had been silenced for good. 

“Come on, , let’s get this done,” Nico encouraged, “I got the spice, have you got the linen?”

I unrolled the strips of linen and we wrapped his body with spice, the scents doing nothing to disguise the finality of what we were doing.  We didn’t speak more than a few words, but there was comfort in the ritual that we were both practiced in - treating the body of a well-loved friend or one of our family with the honour they deserve.  This was no different in some ways, though we were short of time.  We dispensed with the normal psalm recitation – bowed together with a short prayer, affirming that divine judgment is righteous, despite what our hearts felt.

“Joe, come on, formal mourning will have to wait.”  I suppose Nico could see my hesitancy.  It felt callous to treat the Rabbi this way – but it was the law, we had to hurry.  We laid him in my unused tomb, seemed the least I could offer him.  And we left him in the darkness.

Nico gave me an uncharacteristic hug – there in the garden, in the silence and I sobbed again.  

I couldn’t help but think back - 

“I am the way the truth and the life, he’d said.

I am the bread of life, he’d said

The Spirit gives life, he’d said

He promised us the light of life.

He promised life to the full.

I am the resurrection, he’d said.

What’s going on, Nico?!!?

Was it all just words – just figurative language?  Was this too just a parable?

What’s in the name of Jehovah is going on?!

And we wept together as we walked home.

Written by Steve Page

Golgotha Monologues - Mary

It was great to see so many people at our Good Friday meeting on zoom this morning! If you weren’t able to join us, or you simply wanted to read them again, we will be posting all four of our monologues from this morning on the blog today! The monologues help to convey the feelings of four people mentioned in John 19.

Our third monologue is from the perspective of Mary, the mother of Jesus…

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I stood there overwhelmed by unbelief and sorrow.  What Simeon had spoken to me, 33 years earlier kept whirling round my head ‘Your own heart shall be pierced with a sword’,  

Yes. That’s how I felt – it was almost a physical pain… I could hardly stand.  I thought my legs would give way any moment. I leant on John, and he whispered ‘it’s okay, Mary, I’m here’ as he put his arm around me.

I looked up at my Son, Jesus, the Promise of Israel, now bloodied and dying for all to see.

The teachers of the Law and some of the Sanhedrin were there too.  They hurled insults at Him and each one twisted the sword further in my heart.  ‘He saved others, he cannot save himself’, ‘come down from the cross and we will believe in you’ they challenged.  But I knew as He knew that this was not true! Hadn’t He given them plenty of proof before that He was the promised Messiah? Yet most of them had not been willing to give Him a chance. They were afraid of Him, jealous of Him.

And then I heard Him whisper ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do!’ 

Unbelievable!  Fresh tears came into my tired eyes!  Forgive them?  For the way they had contributed to his torture, His agony? And for even now, at the end, having no mercy? I wanted to hit them, to make them suffer just a little of what my Son was going through! Jesus, Jesus, my Son, will I ever learn from You? And as I thought this He looked straight at where I was standing with John. His eyes were full of blood. Almost closed.  I realised He was trying to speak to me, to us, so I pushed John closer.

‘Dear Mother’ He said in a barely audible voice, ‘behold your son’. and His face moved slowly and painfully towards John.

I wanted to shout, No, YOU are my Son, not John, not anyone else, I don’t want anyone else, but His beautiful face, full of compassion and yes, sorrow for me, prevented me from doing so.  The tears now streamed uninhibited down my face. I nodded so He could see I was in agreement with this new arrangement. 

Then His eyes were on John, standing there right next to me.  ‘John’, He whispered, with an urgency in His voice ‘Behold your mother’. And as John tightened his arm round my shoulders, I could see a fleeting look of relief in His eyes.  He had provided for me, His mother.  The faithful Son, right up to the end! 

Like that day at the wedding feast of Cana, when I had asked Him to do something about the wine to help out Samuel and Ruth.  He had humoured me, because He loved me.  And them. 

Memories now flooded my mind… not just of Him with me, but with so many others… the widow’s son, being carried on the pyre on his way to his funeral; Jairus’ daughter; our good friend, Lazarus!  He raised them all from the dead… and people clapped and cheered and said ‘Surely the Messiah has come!’ and less than a week ago they were looking to crown Him king, as he entered Jerusalem on a donkey…  

He was doing so well – healing the sick, the blind, the lame, loving the outcasts, the marginalised…literally thousands hanging on to His every word for days…  I was so proud of Him.

And now – here He was, my Son, gasping for breath! At the mercy of these Roman soldiers…

An anguished silent cry came from deep within me, as I groped about in the dark. Questions tumbled into my mind, one after another.

What happened?  

Why did it happen?  

God, why did You let it happen? 

You could have stopped it! He could have been king, instead of suffering this cruel, undeserved death! 

Why, God, was there not another way for You to have achieved Your purposes?

Now – He is almost dead.  End of everything! What, oh God, have You accomplished through this unnecessary suffering of my Son whom I love?

Suddenly I remembered the Angel Gabriel’s words about Jesus when he told me I would be with child. ‘He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High… and of His kingdom there shall be no end’.  No end, no end, no end? And so – what is all this, how can this happen, as He hangs on that cross…Aloud I whispered ‘I don’t know, I don’t know…’ But surely – God would not lie?

Hope, like a slither of sunlight, somehow began to creep into my dark, agonised mind.

What had the Angel Gabriel said to me when he told me I would become His mother and I had asked in bewilderment ‘How can this be, since I am a virgin?’ He had said ‘NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!’

Slowly a supernatural peace began to enter my heart as I pondered on the Angel’s words. 

I glanced at Jesus again.  His eyes met mine. There was torture there, yes, but now I saw something else. In the midst of this there was peace – and hope! The crooked half smile He gave me was the most wonderful smile I had ever seen… for in it I could see a future. For Him. For me, for all humanity!

With dawning realisation, I thought ‘His birth was a miracle from God, His death has been accepted by God, and with God, He can live again!’ Incredibly, inch by inch, hope was pushing out the unbelief… the pain… the despair!

And as a few seconds later, with a loud cry, He said ‘Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit’ I knew my Son had won, somehow He had won! 

Even though it felt like my heart had been pierced not by one, but by so many swords, a new sensation of anticipation and excitement had also begun to enter my heart so that I was able to turn to John and say through my tears : ‘It is over, and yet it has only just begun!’ 

Written by Adele Dabrowski

Golgotha Monologues - Soldier

It was great to see so many people at our Good Friday meeting on zoom this morning! If you weren’t able to join us, or you simply wanted to read them again, we will be posting all four of our monologues from this morning on the blog today! The monologues help to convey the feelings of four people mentioned in John 19.

Our second monologue is from the perspective of a soldier…

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I really REALLY hate this job

Years of training, promises that’ll serve Caesar ‘for the glory of Rome!’ and see the world 

– and I end up in this God-forsaken, stinking, armpit of a country, populated by mad men.  

[SIGH]

Here we go again – bigger crowd than usual I see – oh that’s great, another messiah to crucify.  Will they ever learn?  

Well, that makes a change, even his own lot seem to be against him, they’re usually chanting, weeping or whaling by the time they get here, not jeering and calling for blood.  Like I said – mad men!

Yes, boss, straight away.

Up you come, matey.  This is your cross to bear.  

Move!  You know you only have yourself to blame – you brought this on yourself - 

Stand back you lot, give the man room.  We’re on a schedule. 

Right, boss.

Come on, Fix, you’re with me – let’s get this done.  Claud, Jules, you know the drill, do it like we practiced – tie him securely, one nail in each lower arm, one though the feet. 

Oh, just Ignore him, hold him firm, one of yer hold the arm and the other take the nail.  That’s right, one swift movement, do it right first time - it’ll be enough to hold him.    

Claud, get a hold of yourself, its only blood.  Be professional – there’s a crowd watching.  

Where’s that notice board, what’s to be written here?  What’s the charge, boss?  

Is that meant to be funny?  No, I didn’t mean anything by it, if that’s what Pilate wants, here you go, “JESUS – OF – NAZ -A -RETH.   - THE - KING - OF - THE - JEWS.“ 

What – no mate, I’m not re-writing anything – it is what is it.   THE KING OF THE JEWS – what’s written is written. 

Fix – do you think the boss is behaving a bit strange?  He seems a little distracted.

Never mind.  Okay – here Fix, it’s your turn to divi up his stuff.  Hang on, no don’t rip that – look, it’s quality, seamless.  Throw the dice for that one.  

Jules, keep an eye on those women.  No, they can chat to him, but no touching the cross.

Yeah, okay, but they use the sponge – and only wine vinegar – he won’t be needing decent wine where he’s going.

Right, boss, we’re done, we’ll settle in for the wait – this may take a while.  

… What’s that he said? “Finished!?!”  Hah, don’t you wish.   It’s nowhere finished for you lad – you’ve got a world of pain coming before you can shuffle off.  

Sorry boss.  Disrespect?  Come on , he’s just a – No, of course, no, no … sorry.

Blimey Fix, I think the boss has been here too long, he’s saying some strange stuff.

…. What do you mean he’s gone.  It’s only been a few hours.  

Show me – no give it here, I’ll do it.  

… Well, he is dead.  No, no need to break his legs, he’s finished. 

That doesn’t make sense – I know my job, 

• Did he just decide to die? 

• Who’s in charge here – Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews, or me?

• Who has the authority here?  This Jesus or us?  

WILL YOU SHUT THOSE WOMEN UP!  I can’t think.

Listen, Fix, let’s keep quiet about this – we’ve got a reputation to maintain.

What?  Now boss, calm down.  Listen to yourself – I know he died a bit different than expected – but the Son of God?  Boss, are those tears? 

I don’t know, Fix – this has got too weird.  

I REALLY hate this job.

Written by Steve Page

Golgotha Monologues - Pilate

It was great to see so many people at our Good Friday meeting on zoom this morning! If you weren’t able to join us, or you simply wanted to read them again, we will be posting all four of our monologues from this morning on the blog today! The monologues help to convey the feelings of four people mentioned in John 19.

Our first monologue is from the perspective of Pilate…

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Stepping outside was the mistake.

Greeting those Jews, just part of the job, but there I was...outside my palace...and there they were...and there...he was. Surrounded by his accusers and his governor...(that’s me)...yet wearing a calmer expression than all of us, as if he were Caesar himself, about to step onto his chariot for a lap of victory.

Resigned to his destiny...but not intimidated by it.

“Not my problem!” was the line I took, but they would not take the bait.

And neither would he, even in the face of his governor, the one holding his future in the palm of my hand! And so I choose…compassion.

A rare show of true justice and mercy.

Praise be to Pilate.

...

I did what I had done many times before. A carefully crafted question, creating a collaborative truth we could step into together: “Your kingdom accuses you, so step into mine.”

And yet the man will not bow to a convenient “truth”:

King of everything, more than King of the Jews.

So what else can I do? The man who came in as an inconvenience for the priests, themselves an inconvenience for me, places himself as my enemy.

I attempted mercy.

But my justice is justified. A swift flogging, mock the king of fools, and think no more about it.

“Problem solved!” I think and I say…but they disagree.

“Crucify him!” their reply.

Really? A bit of roughing up I can do, but surely this lunatic doesn’t deserve death…certainly not like that. I’ll try a different tack.

“Not my problem.”

But in their eyes I should be the solution, and that was the moment...the fear set in.

I was too far gone.

I should have never admitted his guilt.

I should have never spoken to him in the first place.

I should have never granted those religious fools an audience.

And this time the man won’t even respond except to bring his God in, and...perhaps offer me a way out of this mess.

“Right!” I demand of the accusers, a newfound courage filling my lungs. “I’m governor, and I say he’s going free.”

But what does a person do when his livelihood is threatened?

The fear grows in me: am I more afraid of Caesar, or of God?

I am trapped. It’s my job security or his life, and so I double down. If I will be saved by his being crucified, then I will do it the right way.

I will sit on the judgement seat.

I will write his inscription.

And let that be an end to it.

What was I to do?

Should I have sacrificed everything I’ve worked for, for the name of this Jesus?

I’m sure I’ve made other compromises anyway. What’s one more?

Written by Sam Isaacson

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We know there were some audio issues with this monologue, so the video is below for those who wish to watch it again!

Easter - A Change in Perspective

I shall never forget spending Easter with my sister, at my gran’s. 

Even though I was only ten years old and my sister was nine (which was many years ago), we still remember it clearly!  Why? 

• Was it because she spoiled us with her home cooking?  

• Was it because we were allowed to do fun things we weren’t allowed to do at home?

No!  In fact my sister and I were not allowed to do ANYTHING!!  Except pray, of course… After all, this was Holy Week…

On Good Friday we spent the whole day indoors, being reminded not to raise our voices and keep a solemn quiet! At 2.30pm our gran turned on the radio and we all sat together round her little table and listened intently to it. The speaker described the passion and crucifixion of Jesus in such detail and so vividly, that Marie and I could not stop bawling our eyes out! Our gran was so pleased that she said we could have something light to eat after 6pm!

Since the last time any food had passed our young lips was 10am, we were thrilled…

Well, on reflection maybe that isn’t the best way to explain Easter to young children, but our grandmother, a strict, staunch, traditional Catholic, obviously didn’t know any better. I like to think that God knew her heart though…

Since then, I’m glad to say, my perception of Easter has changed, as has its focus. 

Yes, I do still remember the pain endured on that terrible cross by Jesus, but I also know the real reason for it being known as ‘GOOD Friday’.  Because on that cross Jesus paid the penalty for my sin, dying in my place so that I, a sinner, can now stand before God the Father and be declared innocent!  (Romans 6:23 says, For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus.)

So that was indeed a GOOD Friday!

And it doesn’t stop there… after Friday came Saturday and then Sunday – EASTER SUNDAY - the greatest day of all for fallen humanity!

For not only did Jesus Christ die for me and you, but He was raised to life again on that Sunday!  And because He lives, I too am assured of everlasting life with Him when I die! 

Wow! It can’t get better than that! 

Death has been defeated and our King is now reigning victorious!  As the apostle Paul says ‘Death, where is your victory; where is your sting?’ (1 Cor 15:55)  

It’s gone!

So now when I think of Easter I can’t sit quietly as my gran would have wanted.  I rejoice.  I celebrate together with millions of other people throughout the world who understand that the unimaginable happened on that Easter Day over 2,000 years ago -  The sinner gets set free, the gates of heaven are opened wide.  The Father welcomes us with open arms!  I shall be there one day – 

How about you?  What’s your perception of Easter?

A time of solemnity? Or a time to rejoice?  

If you’d like a new perspective – please join us at Redeemer London this Easter.  You’ll find people for whom death holds no fear - because Jesus’ death changed everything for us.  

Adele Dabrowski

Light v Darkness

Palm Sunday. A story about a jubilant crowd welcoming Jesus on a donkey. We could mistakenly think this is Jesus's happiest day on earth.

A day earlier, Jesus calls his friend Lazarus out of a grave, a man who is dead for days comes back to life! A wailing party turns into a celebration. People loved this version of Jesus, his God-power on full display. Here he finally was: the Messiah. News spreads like wildfire. "Jesus, the Messiah?" the Pharisees ask enraged, "we've got to put this rumour to rest"; they even plan to murder Lazarus. 

As night falls over the land, powerful people brood over deadly plots. Jesus needs to die. 

Instead of laying low, Jesus makes his biggest appearance yet. As prophesied, right in the heart of God's chosen country, in Jerusalem. The religious power hub. 

Rumours that Jesus is approaching the city draws everyone out onto the streets. The Holy City is teeming with people. 

Knowing scripture, Jesus sends his disciples ahead of him, two with a special mission, to find a donkey's foal for their master. They find the donkey and bring it to Jesus. 

Riding on a donkey, heavy with symbolism, Jesus slowly enters Jerusalem and the crowd goes wild. They sing, "Praise God! God bless him who comes in the name of the Lord! God bless the King of Israel!" As Jesus passes through a palm waving crowd, he sees pure joy on people's faces. Suddenly his gaze lands on a group of grim, tight-mouthed pharisees. Angrily they demand, "Jesus, make them stop!" Jesus counters, if they shut the people up, the rocks would praise him. Infuriated the religious elite disappears, fuelled by rage, they will find the cruellest way imaginable to get rid of Jesus.

The cheering crowd continues their chants, laying down their palm branches for Jesus's donkey to walk on. A royal welcome. The disciples are overjoyed, finally their day of triumph has come! They look back at Jesus, fully expecting a solemn or joyous expression on his face. Instead, Jesus weeps. He cries for this crowd of the lost. Jesus knows these adoring songs will soon turn into angry shouts, "Crucify him!"

He knows the hearts of people. How fickle we are. He knows even his friends, now proudly marching by his side, will abandon him.

In the bright light of day, everything looks as if Jesus has come to take his seat of power. Jerusalem is lying at his feet. But soon they will be at the feet of a cross, taunting him. A mocking sign above his bloodied head will say, "Jesus, King of the Jews" 

Knowing the true spirit of people, Jesus rides into Jerusalem with eyes wide open. Despite this, he is ready and willing to die for each and every one of them. 

Pure love has come to town. Worship him.

A Bruised Reed Walking

As you will no doubt be aware, the recent covid-19 outbreak has changed everyone’s lives to a greater and a lesser extent. As a church we know that many members of our family will be self-isolating, working from home, or practicing social distancing over the coming weeks. We are hoping that through a series of blogs we can encourage you, and others who might be reading these blogs, to fix your eyes on Jesus, and respond to the crisis in a way which honours his will for our lives.

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Father, I need a break -
I step outside to clear my head.
the cold wind grips me, and I shiver
quickening my step, I feel it push back
it is a spring evening, normally streets are busy, but there is not a car in sight
few busses pass by, fewer passengers inside
people rush in and out of a 7/11 shop
I hear arguing in houses and on streets
the atmosphere is tense
our neighbourhood still has empty newbuilds
but it's in the middle of two estates,
I love this part of town, its people, its flavours, normally teaming with life
I walk past an elderly lady, carefully measuring her steps
a man hurries past, face covered deep under a hoodie
together we fight an invisible enemy
we help each other by keeping a distance

Lord, how is life going to continue?
Rumours spreading on social media
Fear creeping into feeds
Fact and fiction mingling, people keep sharing
Worries fill my mind

Then I turn a corner, what I see takes my breath away
out of nothing, a beautiful evening sky appears
orange, pink and purple light on fluffy clouds
it is marvellous, "I made heaven and earth" a voice pops into my consciousness
Thank you, God

I cross the road and notice sounds are softer near the canal
Instead of barking dogs and arguments, birds sing their eve songs
Cherry blossoms, strangely bright in this light
"Peace, I give you" the still little voice continues
I breathe in deeply, the wind tastes fresh
Warmth is spreading through my body as my muscles move
A tree boasts tender shoots on every branch
"I promise, there will be better days"
As nature holds its breath during winter, we too hold our breath
This spring seems to be delaying its relief
But we are invited to breathe freely, keep a clear head.
"Am I not in charge?" God's voice asks quietly
Crises come and go, people seem to forget
"Nothing new under the sun"
"Be courageous and strong. Do not be afraid"

These are exceptional times, but people tend to be the same
The ones who take more than they need, have always done so
Affluence and greed, another more subtle pandemic
Others serve their communities, and have always done so,

A less appreciated contagion
On a daily televised government status update, the Chancellor said, "We will remember how we took care of each other"
Coronavirus is a chance
What is my priority, my personal comfort or the public good?
"What you have done to the least of these, you did to me"
Jesus cares about our behaviour towards those in need, 
he identifies with them, he IS them.

As the sky loses its evening spectacle glow,
I head back home with a clearer vision for our community.
Covid 19 or not, “A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice” 
Isaiah 42:3

A Greater Lent

A week ago Shrove Tuesday marked the beginning of lent, and as we look forward to Easter here at Redeemer we’ll be publishing a series of blogs produced by Redeemer Creatives, the first of which comes courtesy of our resident poet, Steve Page.

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A Greater Lent

Lord, save me from empty lent abstinence 
Protect me from light hearted choco-resistance 
And stir in me a longer lasting adherence 
A dig down deeper resonance 
That falls in step with your insistence 
to follow a path of greater resilience.

Lord, save me from a temporary temperance 
And lend me your eternal Spirit of endurance 
That I might take this lent as a growth accelerant 
And so come to stand a little closer
to your post-Easter presence.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3