ONE FATHER'S THOUGHTS ABOUT A MOTHER ADAPTING TO A NEVER-CHANGING SON

I am the father of two adults, Amy (24) and Ethan (23). I still shout: 'Hi, kids', when I greet them. 

They don't seem to mind.

They are all grown up, working and making their own decisions about loving and living. Our relationship has changed over time, from me entertaining them, then training them, maintaining them and now relating to them as fellow adults.

It's been a challenge, but we've adapted.

And I'm still relying on my heavenly Father to show me how to best support them.

'Cos I'm still their dad.

I've been wondering what it might have been like for the parents of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Bringing up the Son of God as a child, as a teen and then watching him attain adulthood probably wasn't all plain sailing. How did they relate to him? We get a few glimpses in the gospels, but not many.

It's apparent that Joseph died before Jesus reached 30. Did Mary bring Jesus up on her own or did Joseph die much later, perhaps triggering the start of Jesus' travels? We don't know. We do know that Mary followed Jesus. We know she was part of the group who formed the early church, as were his brothers.

So I wonder what it was like for Mary to pray to the ascended Jesus after bringing him up - knee scrapes, adolescence and all.

How did she adapt from mother to worshipper? 

Here's how I imagine how an early prayer to Jesus from Mary might have sounded.

Mary's prayer to the ascended Jesus

O Lord, my Saviour, my spirit rejoices in you, for you...
- 
Oh, Jesus. This isn't as easy as I thought it would be. 
Oh, my son, my child, my beloved child - now my Saviour. 
My whole being worships you, and yet in my heart I still treasure those times when it was just you and me. 
Holding you close, hearing your first words, shepherding you as you took your first steps, watching over you... 
And now you watch over me. 
- 
Jesus, my heart still aches when I recall your body arched in pain, bleeding. Your cries still haunt me. It's hard to shake the image of your lifeless body
wrapped in cloth and lying - in a tomb. 
- 
Forgive me, dear son; I almost lost my mind with grief. I was blinded with my tears, and in my fear I didn't understand.  
- 
And then, when I saw you again, whole, restored...
Oh how I loved to see that smile again, to feel your arms around me once more, to hear your laughter, to draw in your warmth as we shared a meal.
Just like we used to. 
But you were taken again so soon. I know you had to go, but oh, how I missed you. 
-
But I'll tell your story - so many want to hear my story. The boys promise to write it down, but I'll still tell. It thrills me every time I tell it, for how can written words capture you, your love, your presence. 
- 
You spoke of a gift, you said that if we waited here in Jerusalem, we would be bathed in YOUR Holy Spirit. 
And now I see. 
I almost weep with joy when I hear young John and the rest of your friends
speaking in your name.
I recognise your voice, you see.  I recognise your heart, in their words. 
It's just like you're still here. 
Thank you for not leaving your old mum alone. 
I'll see you soon, my Jesus. 

How about you?

• What stage of life are your children at?
• Have they grown up and built their own lives?
• How has your relationship adapted?
• What heartaches and highs do you look back on? 
• And how about your parents - how well has your relationship with them adapted along the way?

The wonderful thing about worshipping Jesus, son of man and Son of God, is that he can relate.

Whatever stage your life is at, you can ask him to support and guide you. His Spirit is still available to those who seek Him.

MY MATERNITY LEAVE CHALLENGE...AND YOUR OPPORTUNITY

Since being on maternity leave I have loved hanging out with my two boys.

I feel incredibly blessed to be a mummy, and thank God every day for the two little dudes he blessed me with.

But after six months I was getting itchy feet to do something other than:

• changing nappies
• sterilising bottles
• washing clothes
• cleaning the house
• dressing boys
• (followed by undressing boys when one is sick all over himself and the other one hasn't made it to the bathroom in time)

As much as I love doing all of these things, I felt like I needed an extra challenge to add to my week!

Redeemer's just finished running its first term of meetups.

I had the pleasure of hosting a parent and toddler meetup at my home. I invited parents from Redeemer, as well as other local mums that I've met over the last few years.

Despite being a reception teacher at a local primary school, for some crazy reason I felt the need to turn my own home into a classroom for 9 weeks!

My flat was full of baby equipment and all sorts of toys. It felt like mayhem, but the kids had a blast.

It turns out toy trains, cars and the play kitchen were the most popular toys!

We sang songs together, and snack time was loved by all (adults and kids).

Mums enjoyed connecting with one another, sharing stories and advice about the latest milestone their children were going through.

It was a great experience I felt privileged to be a part of, and I met some cheeky adorable kids and some incredible new mum friends throughout.

I had 49 kids and parents through my door over the 9 weeks!

When our final session came to an end earlier this week, one thought came to mind:

Why should this end?

The answer is - it shouldn't!

I am heading back to work next month, and will be surrounded by many other kids that will keep me busy...but the opportunity is there for someone else to host next term!

As I summarised my ramblings of my last blog in 5 easy steps I thought I would do the same:

1. Take on new challenges
   The tots group is just my example of taking a risk in leading something new. You could lead a meetup in the future!
2. Use your skills to connect with others
   I've discovered I'm actually good at being with kids! It's probably because I am a big kid at heart (and so is my husband, he keeps me young). Think about what your skills are - how can this help you connect with people locally and build friendships?
3. Try not to focus on WOE IS ME
   Don't feel sorry for yourself if you feel that you don't have any friends and haven't been invited to things. That was their loss not having you there. Instead, make the first move and...
4. Invite people to an event
   It doesn't have to be in your own home. It doesn't have to be run by you. Everyone loves being invited to something. From experience, not everyone will turn up - so be brave, and invite twice the amount you were planning on.
5. Love being local! (That's my blog copyright if you'd not noticed)
   Enjoy your surroundings, the people around you and what Ealing has to offer.

WHAT A MISSING CHILD REVEALS TO EALING PARENTS

APPEAL TO FIND MISSING BOY, AGED 12

The authorities in Jerusalem are appealing for the public's help in locating a missing boy from Nazareth (GALILEE).

Jesus Barjoseph, 12, was last seen near the Susa Gate five days ago. We are concerned for his welfare.

Jesus - described as a serious boy and mature for his age - is olive-skinned, 4' 8" tall, and of slim to medium build with shoulder-length black hair.

He is understood to be wearing a brown and tan tunic and black sandles, carrying a small satchel.

Jesus is familiar with the area around the Temple Mount and the Mount of Olives.

His mother, Mary, says, "Jesus, if you read this, please contact us. We are not angry with you, just very anxious."

Jesus also goes by the name 'Son of Man'.

It's scary just how many children go missing each day in the UK alone. MissingKids tells us that a child goes missing every three minutes.

In a country where child abduction and abuse is regularly reported, and Ealing we know is no exception, I can only try to imagine what the parents go through.

My son is now in his 20s. At the time of writing one of his close friends from South Ealing is missing. Last weekend they made plans to meet midweek, but by then he was the subject of a Met Police alert.

His mum and his friends are left in the limbo of anxiety until more news is known.

The emotions of the last few days made the account of Jesus going missing at the age of 12 that much more heart breaking.

Jesus' family

We don't know much about Jesus' childhood. We know he was entrusted to two devout, loving parents. They weren't a wealthy family (the offering sacrificed at his purification rites, 2 doves, was that allowed for those who couldn't afford a lamb). His father, Joseph, was a carpenter, providing for several children. We presume he died before Jesus started his ministry as an adult, as he doesn't get a mention in any of the biographies of Jesus after the 12 year-old Jesus is found.

Luke, the author of one of these biographies, tells us that Jesus' parents had taken him to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover for the first time at the age of 12.  It was an annual trip for them, but this time they took their eldest son. The trip was shared with friends, and the journey back home was planned with the same group.

The journey lasted five days:

1. Mary and Joseph started out back home, confident that Jesus was with their party.  One day out from Jerusalem, they realised he wasn't with the group. Their child had been missing a whole day.
2. They headed back, puzzled, anxious, (more likely distraught) and perhaps a little angry at themselves.
3. Mary and Joseph started searching.
4. And searching.
5. After three days searching they found him. In the temple courts. He was calmly in discussion with the teachers there!

(I know what I would have said to those teachers had I been Joseph.)

Jesus was fine, "safe in his Father's house."

It may make sense to us thanks to thousands of years of hindsight, but Mary and Joseph were confused and upset. And what was Jesus' explanation? "Didn't you know I'd be about my Father's business?" Mary and Joseph didn't understand, and took him back home.

Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favour with God and man.

I take two lessons away from this account from Luke.

First, God's universal plan asked for his son, Jesus, to lead a typical human life, full of the normal milestones for boys in that society.  This is why it's easy to connect with Jesus; he's been where we are.

However, his priorities were a little different from his peers.  He gave first place to 'his Father's business'.

I have to ask myself, is that the way we live? Do we model that approach to day to day living for our children to follow?

Second, his parents deserve full credit for raising the Messiah as their son.  If this account is anything to go by, it wasn't always easy.

What have you learned?

What would be your biggest parenting lessons? Why not email them in to blog@redeemerlondon.org so we can compile them into a future post?