SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP TWO

While we're still in January, I thought it would be helpful for us all to walk through a life assessment and action plan together. I wrote last week about the five life indicators of health, relationships, vocation, emotions and lifestyle - if you've not read that yet, I'd recommend starting there first.

This week, we're going to dig a bit deeper.

Question 1: which of the life indicators is most important to you?

During last week's exercise, which of the five stood out to you the most? What got you the most excited or frustrated? Which matters the most?

Now, what decisions do you need to make to prioritise that area over the others?

Question 2: what is your thought trajectory?

This may take a while, because I'd like you to think about what you think about. What thoughts do you find yourself thinking most often? When you're thinking about yourself, are your thoughts along the lines of "you should do better", or "you can do it!"? What false or unsubstantiated thoughts do you find yourself thinking the most? What thoughts would you like to think more often - and how could you make that happen?

Question 3: what is your ritual trajectory?

A lot of people don't like the word ritual, but it just means repeated behaviour. What sort of thing do you find yourself doing most often? What takes up your time on your commute, or at weekends? What do you do first thing in the morning and last thing at night?

Now, if you continue with those rituals, where will they lead you? Will they make you a better person? Or are they pointless wastes of time? What could you change about those rituals?

Next steps...

We spent last and this week looking at what could change in our lives, and hopefully by now we all have good, measurable to-do lists that we're starting to tick off...but life isn't as simple as a checklist.

Next week, we're going to pick up on those areas that we can't change, because life is bigger than constant activity!

I'M A BIG BOY NOW, AND I STILL CRY. HERE'S WHY...

"Don't cry. You're a big boy now."

Growing up in the 60s and 70s I can clearly recall the admonishment to wipe away my tears and 'be a big boy'. 

OK, so I was a teary child. 

My school reports from junior school note that I was a 'sensitive child'.  When emotions ran high, tears would flow.  My eyes are still likely to well up in response to a song or a TV drama.  I also find that my eyes water in worship and in prayer. 

I used to be embarrassed by this readiness to cry (it wasn't appropriate when I was a police constable!),  but now in my 50s, I worry less about what others may think and focus more on what my emotional response is telling me. 

It may simply indicate that I'm emotionally or physically over-stretched and that I need some down time.  It might be an appropriate empathetic reaction to the story of a fellow human being.  It can be a response to the compassion shown by a friend.

Or it may be the wholly appropriate reflex when I'm overwhelmed by God's presence.

Tears are good. They are a communicator, they are an indicator, a release. 

There's a physiological reason why we feel better after 'a good cry'.  Tears release stress and kill pain.  They are also natural eye drops and they contain antibacterials.

(Excess tears can also flood the drainage ducts that lead into the nasal passage, hence the runny nose when you're crying.)

I now embrace that emotional side of me and I value those I meet who feel the same, especially if they are grown men.  Jesus wasn't afraid to weep in public (see Luke 19:41 and John 11:35) and neither should we be.

This poem is to all you grown men out there who aren't afraid to weep.

Love you, mate.
Love your contagious tears
As they breach your ducts,
And gloss your cheeks,
Running free and reaching down
Past the lump in your throat
to your vulnerable heart.

Love you, mate.
Love your resistance to temptation
To back hand compassion,
Instead emoting with no hesitation,
Never embarrassed
To tell the world
That no-one's too big to weep.

If you are quick to tears, don't be embarrassed.   It's just part of being human. 

And you'll find that your tears are not out of place at Redeemer on a Sunday morning at Ealing town hall.  Feel free to join us from 10:30am.

MAKE THIS YOUR FIRST STEP TO SUCCESS IN 2017

London is a busy place.

I'm not the first person in 2017 to notice that people in London are impatient, walk fast, drive close, demand convenience...and are driven to succeed.

I don't think I've met anyone since moving to London who's said:

Do you know, my life's not perfect, but I'm fine with accepting that.

More often, I encounter:

Life is great...but I still want more!

I believe that there's a big challenge to Londoners to become content with what we have, because the chances are that the challenges you and I face are real first-world problems...but equally, there's nothing wrong with setting ambitious goals and achieving them.

The year is young, and who knows what you might turn it into?

Come with me on a journey of self-discovery and future building. I'm going to post a series of blog entries walking us through some exercises I hope you find helpful.

In this first entry, we're going to dig into the five life indicators:

1 Health

Did you know that often, the most successful people in the world are also really healthy? Getting a good amount of sleep, drinking lots of water and eating healthily will all contribute to your ability to making lasting change.

2 Relationships

Who are your key relationships with? Who would you like better relationships with? Who would you like relationships with that you currently don't have? It's funny that the people with the best friendships tend to just be the friendliest people - we can all learn a lesson and be friendly.

3 Vocation

What takes up the most of your time? Is it a job, or a role in the home, or a role in society? What could you do that would make you feel more fulfilled in that?

4 Emotions

What are the three emotions you feel most of the time? How positive are those words? What could you do that would create more positive emotions?

5 Lifestyle

Where does your time and money go? How satisfied does that answer make you? How could you improve that?

Next steps...

I'd really encourage you to write down your answers to the questions above - it should lead you to a nice to-do list.

But the work's not done yet! Keep your eye on the blog, because the next entry in this series will be appearing in a week.