DEPRESSION & TEENAGERS

As teens we go through a lot, we’re a lot more emotional and there will be a lot of bumpy roads ahead and there will be times where we will hit rock bottom and think that there’s no way out. There is always a way out.

I’ve been through many many struggles and it’s gotten to the point of self harming and also attempting to take my life. Fortunately, I’m still here. I’m so thankful that I am because I’ve met incredible people along the way and my life has gotten better compared to how it used to be. If you’re going through depression or self harm then, please know that you are LOVED & BEAUTIFUL! You don’t deserve to go through this pain. Just know it is temporary and things will get better. When I was depressed and I was self harming, I wanted to isolate myself and stay away from people but I knew doing that would make me feel a lot worse. I was bottling up so much and at that point I had to speak to someone. I did reach out to family and that’s including my church family too. I was speaking out to people who I trusted and felt comfortable around. Doing this lifted a lot of weight off my shoulders. Even though I was still hurting, I felt a lot more lighter and felt like I had nothing to hide anymore.

Also, I am a strong believer in Christ and praying daily and pouring my heart to him is something that helps me incredibly. Not only did things start getting better as time went on but I built such a close relationship with God and knowing that with him anything is possible is very reassuring. As I mentioned before, life will get better, you just have to have hope. There will of course be obstacles and things will try and bring you down but that’s how the devil works. We just need to stop backing away from God and remove whatever is blocking your way to chase God. He’s opening new doors for you, he has a plan for you (which is even quoted in the bible) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” - Jeremiah 29:11.

So, this is what I have to say to anyone who may be going through a tough time and if you’re bottling your emotions up then, it’s best to speak out to someone you are comfortable with. I promise you, you will feel a lot more better because you’re finally letting everything out. Speaking to someone may sound lame but it’s so helpful. Another thing to do is distract yourself. You can chill with your mates, watch a movie, go shopping.. Just do something that will help take your mind off the negative thoughts. For me personally, hanging out with my mates helps take my mind off anything bad that might be going on. It’s because i’m surrounded with people I know who care and who I’m happy being around. That’s another thing, surround yourself with positive people, that’s key. It makes such a big difference.

It may seem like you’re getting nowhere in life and you’re giving up but God will open doors for you. You just need to pray about it and have faith. This feeling of hopelessness, loneliness, sadness etc will pass and you will find yourself walking on the right path again.

Talk to people, pray about it and try keep your head up! ♡

Lyds x

THE DANGER OF POSITIVE THINKING

I heard a radio discussion on the flaws of positive thinking and the false hope that accompanies it:

False hope binds us to unliveable situations and blinds us to real possibilities. In contrast, a healthy uneasiness with the status quo prompts the exploration of alternatives. (The Power of Negative Thinking, Radio 4)

He went on to say:

We use the word hope for situations over which we have no agency.  We don't hope to eat.  We do it.  In contrast, we would hope that the plane doesn't crash."

It follows then, that next time I find myself hoping something will be okay, it's wise to take it as a prompt to ask:

Do I really have no agency over the situation?  Or can I get up and impact the status quo? 

What they were saying was that positive thinking as an alternative to taking action is not positive at all. Believing I am powerless when I'm not is negative.

For example, I wouldn't stand over a heart attack victim with car keys in hand, saying 'I hope you get to hospital'. I'd act. Instead of thinking to myself, 'I hope that poor man finds somewhere to stay this Christmas,' I can support a charity like Shelter.

Hope alone can be unhealthy if it blinds us to what we can do to make a change.

In contrast, sometimes hope is an appropriate acknowledgement that we can't effect change and shouldn't waste energy worrying. Once I've chosen to get on that plane, I can't effect its ability to stay in the air.  So hope alone in a situation that is outside my control might be appropriate. 

But I have a proposal.

Add to hope a dose of trust, and you have a more potent force, bringing peace.

Let me explain.

Acknowledging situations in which you really don't have agency and in which you are reliant on another (e.g. the designer of the plane and the pilot) is a rational response. If the object of your trust is worthy of that trust, your hope is well-founded and brings peace of mind. Instead of worrying about stuff that you cannot change, you have more headspace to instead focus on those things that you can change.

You can probably see where I'm going with this.

Romans 15:13 reads: 'May the God of Hope fill you with all Joy and Peace as you Trust in him, so that you may overflow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.' 

A trustworthy God in whom we hope brings peace and joy.

Hold that thought in balance with James 1:27 where we read: 'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.'  This is an admonishment to act.

To realise the truth in both these passages we need discernment to recognise when to trust, and when to act.

For example:

My mother is suffering from vascular dementia.  My sisters and I hope and trust that God will continue to give her peace and will care for her.  Equally, we acted to buy a tracker for her keyring so we know where she is, and between us we spend time with her to ensure she takes her medication and that she eats regularly.

So we act to meet her needs rather than sit back and hope God will step in.  Meanwhile, the overflow of hope and trust we have in God empowers us and my mother.

We do not walk with blind faith. We walk with eyes wide open to the hope that is founded on God's grace toward us, while actively looking for opportunities to act.

So here's my challenge to you.

Sit and think this Christmas season. What issues are preying on your mind?  Where will you place your Hope? On a new year resolution? On the lottery? On your ability to think positively?

Or in a trustworthy God?

You can choose to trust. So act now. You'll find fellow travellers at Ealing Town Hall any Sunday morning.