SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP TWO

While we're still in January, I thought it would be helpful for us all to walk through a life assessment and action plan together. I wrote last week about the five life indicators of health, relationships, vocation, emotions and lifestyle - if you've not read that yet, I'd recommend starting there first.

This week, we're going to dig a bit deeper.

Question 1: which of the life indicators is most important to you?

During last week's exercise, which of the five stood out to you the most? What got you the most excited or frustrated? Which matters the most?

Now, what decisions do you need to make to prioritise that area over the others?

Question 2: what is your thought trajectory?

This may take a while, because I'd like you to think about what you think about. What thoughts do you find yourself thinking most often? When you're thinking about yourself, are your thoughts along the lines of "you should do better", or "you can do it!"? What false or unsubstantiated thoughts do you find yourself thinking the most? What thoughts would you like to think more often - and how could you make that happen?

Question 3: what is your ritual trajectory?

A lot of people don't like the word ritual, but it just means repeated behaviour. What sort of thing do you find yourself doing most often? What takes up your time on your commute, or at weekends? What do you do first thing in the morning and last thing at night?

Now, if you continue with those rituals, where will they lead you? Will they make you a better person? Or are they pointless wastes of time? What could you change about those rituals?

Next steps...

We spent last and this week looking at what could change in our lives, and hopefully by now we all have good, measurable to-do lists that we're starting to tick off...but life isn't as simple as a checklist.

Next week, we're going to pick up on those areas that we can't change, because life is bigger than constant activity!

MAKE THIS YOUR FIRST STEP TO SUCCESS IN 2017

London is a busy place.

I'm not the first person in 2017 to notice that people in London are impatient, walk fast, drive close, demand convenience...and are driven to succeed.

I don't think I've met anyone since moving to London who's said:

Do you know, my life's not perfect, but I'm fine with accepting that.

More often, I encounter:

Life is great...but I still want more!

I believe that there's a big challenge to Londoners to become content with what we have, because the chances are that the challenges you and I face are real first-world problems...but equally, there's nothing wrong with setting ambitious goals and achieving them.

The year is young, and who knows what you might turn it into?

Come with me on a journey of self-discovery and future building. I'm going to post a series of blog entries walking us through some exercises I hope you find helpful.

In this first entry, we're going to dig into the five life indicators:

1 Health

Did you know that often, the most successful people in the world are also really healthy? Getting a good amount of sleep, drinking lots of water and eating healthily will all contribute to your ability to making lasting change.

2 Relationships

Who are your key relationships with? Who would you like better relationships with? Who would you like relationships with that you currently don't have? It's funny that the people with the best friendships tend to just be the friendliest people - we can all learn a lesson and be friendly.

3 Vocation

What takes up the most of your time? Is it a job, or a role in the home, or a role in society? What could you do that would make you feel more fulfilled in that?

4 Emotions

What are the three emotions you feel most of the time? How positive are those words? What could you do that would create more positive emotions?

5 Lifestyle

Where does your time and money go? How satisfied does that answer make you? How could you improve that?

Next steps...

I'd really encourage you to write down your answers to the questions above - it should lead you to a nice to-do list.

But the work's not done yet! Keep your eye on the blog, because the next entry in this series will be appearing in a week.

HERE'S HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD MAKE EALING EVEN HAPPIER.

Ever since the Panama Papers news story, I've been thinking a lot about money. Then I read this, in the Financial Times of all places.

A couple of weeks ago the top 'reader's question' in the Management section was essentially:

My partner and I have similar jobs at the same organisation. He just got a 20% pay rise. Should I force him to pay 20% more than I do towards rent and other expenses? What do you think?

The answer to this relationship issue is obvious to me.

Forget about the money.

Surely a relationship is priceless.

I love my job.
But if my employer didn't pay me, I wouldn't turn up to work.
I don't get paid to be a husband and a daddy, but I still turn up anyway.

Dear Financial Times reader: I assume you love your partner. Why not try being generous to them with your money?

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Money has a way of appearing incredibly important.

We've been sold the idea that more money will make us happier, in spite of celebrities' ludicrous lifestyles that publicly fall apart on the pages of every newspaper.

For example, it's easy to judge wealthy people who can afford to avoid tax, but I can guarantee you two things:

1. If you or I were in the same situation, we'd do exactly the same thing. Don't even pretend that you wouldn't. When the Government announces an increase in a tax-free allowance, I don't tell them to keep my money anyway. Tax avoidance is legal, and should be expected. (As opposed to tax evasion.)
2. If a wealthy person is happy, it's not down to their wealth. They'll be happy because of the relationships in their life, or experiences they're having.

So...

QUESTION: How much money do I need to be happy?
ANSWER: Just a little bit more.

I implore you, don't stake your happiness on the amount you earn or your bank balance.

Instead, please look at all the evidence and realise that you'll be happier if you're more generous, regardless of how wealthy you are.

Here's the really good news...

Every Sunday we have an opportunity to get happier by giving away our money - Redeemer will use it to transform Ealing and support others around London and around the world!

There's only one question left:

How happy do you actually want to be?

THE SIX BIGGEST THINGS I MISS ABOUT MY DAUGHTER

I wonder how many of us in Ealing are living here whilst family members are living miles away?

It can be a challenge not seeing our loved ones, despite technology helping us keep in touch.

This year my daughter is doing a gap year in Uganda -  over 4,000 miles away. She left England in October and will not be back until July - 9 months later! The longest she had ever been away until now was one week, so 9 months feels like a really long time!

She is volunteering for Smile International which has involved:

• teaching in a local school
• helping with their hospital ministry
• supporting families
• helping to run outreach events through the church they are partnering with.

I am so proud of what she is doing and how she is coping living away from home - not only shopping and cooking for herself and others, finding her way around and making new friends, but also washing her own clothes by hand!

She moaned about having to use the washing machine to wash her own stuff at home!

But even though I am proud of what she is doing I miss her loads...

I have particularly missed her at special family occasions such as Christmas, Mother's Day and my birthday but to be honest I just miss not having her around generally.

• I miss our chats in her room - often laying on her bed finding out how her day had been or telling her about mine
• I miss watching DVDs on her bed together – our favourite being The Musketeers, or a good chick flick
• I miss listening to her putting on different accents (Australian being the most cultivated one) whilst revising for exams - don't ask me why but we both used to be in stitches so it certainly livened up the revision!
• I miss her making me cups of tea – she had my exact requirements pretty mastered before she left
• I miss not being able to give her a hug and tell her I love her in person
• I miss her noise…the house is very quiet without her!

My daughter, Lois, is so full of life, energy and fun, loud and vivacious and underneath very caring, loyal and compassionate towards others.

Being a mum has been one of the best things I have had the privilege of doing. It can at times feel like a heavy investment - endless sleepless nights (both for babies and teenagers!), selfless serving, giving yourself emotionally, physically and financially, running around after them, praying for them, trying to negotiate with them, not to mention the endless washing, cooking and clearing up...but it is great to watch them as they leave home and take on responsibilities and challenges – to know that you have been a part of shaping who they have become and to realise that they are now investing in others around the world.

Are your family far away?

What do you miss about them?

I see the church as a family too – a place to belong, a place to share life with others, to make memories together, to show love and commitment, to encourage one another and be there for one another in life’s challenges.

Why not come along to Redeemer and see for yourself!

The Bible says:

God sets the lonely in families

Have you found a family in Ealing yet?