THREE WAYS TO CHILL WHEN YOU'RE STRESSED

If you talked to me a month ago you would have discovered quite quickly that I was stressed.

My mum was in hospital, soon to move to nursing care. We were selling her house. Work involved more projects with fewer staff. This year's pay round left a lot of us frustrated. The house needed attention. My kids were stressed with dissertation deadlines. My dog is 15 and showing signs of decline. I've put on far too much weight. I think I've developed RSI in my mouse arm.

What can I do?

Psalm 131 gives me a three step plan.

1. KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS

Verse 1: My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

2. STOP AND CHILL

Verse 2: But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

3. PLACE YOUR TRUST IN GOD

Verse 3:  Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.

Join me while we face this together.

KEEP SNIFFING

Keep sniffing

And when you pray
Ask
And when you pray
Seek
And when you pray
Knock til He hears
And keep sniffing around
Through your tears
To find the doors
That He has prepared
To brand new frontiers
For His pioneers.

Matthew 7:7-8

Do whatever it takes

Earlier this year I was listening to the series of Sunday messages on how to bless those around us.

What struck me was the unambiguity of the Gospel.

Jesus showed us by example. He blessed others with his words, his presence at a meal, by healing and meeting people's needs. He sent his disciples out (see Matthew 10) to bless. If the households they met weren't receptive they were to move on. They were to focus on blessing others.

There's an urgency to this.

Go, and Bless.

---

Spit

Go empty handed and be fruitful
Lay on hands and be liberal
When you pour your oil,
Spit in the soil if you have to
Whatever it takes to
Bring healing and restoration
To those who have a notion
To listen to you whom I have chosen
To bring good news to the nations.
And to each family which shows willing
Give greetings
With a voice ringing true and bringing
Peace and blessings
To all who reside in each dwelling
For you are a herald of the most high King
Sent to ensure His shalom and kingdom
Hits home before you move on.
Go empty handed and be fruitful
Lay on hands and be liberal
When you pour your oil
Spit in the soil if you have to
Whatever it takes...

SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP FIVE

We're now in the fifth and final week of what I hope has been a really helpful toolkit to enable you to see great success in 2017. We've looked at our thoughts and rituals, our roles and goals, and now we're landing on the ultimate challenge. Once you've done the other things, doing this final step will act like the final spinning cog of an elaborate mechanism, unlocking potential you perhaps didn't even know was there.

Get excited!

A lot's been said over the past couple of decades about the power of a positive mindset. It's easy to get cynical about that sort of thing, but looking back at what we've achieved over the past few weeks, surely we can know that success is possible.

And that should get us excited in the morning.

And if we're excited in the morning, we'll respond more positively to what life throws at us.

So...get excited every morning! Spend a couple of minutes every morning, thanking God for everything he's going to do for you and through you to others today.

Don't allow circumstances to define your positive outlook. Allow your positive outlook to influence your circumstances.

Get scared!

You might be afraid of spiders, you might be afraid of talking to someone really senior in your office, you might be afraid of what people will think if you bring in a packed lunch, or you might be afraid of how awkward the conversation would be if you invited a homeless person out for lunch.

It's easy to be afraid of things - life is full of unknowns, and negative results are a possibility...but let me tell you one thing for free:

Fear solves nothing.

Being afraid has a negative effect on you personally, and doesn't change the situation at all. So here's a good thing to do. Every day, do one thing that scares you. Once you've done it, no worries - no need to do anything scary until tomorrow. But don't let a day go by without scaring yourself on purpose.

Just see what happens!

Get focussed!

I don't know about you, but my life seems to get full to the brim of...stuff. Meetings, emails, tube delays, meals...and how much of it actually makes a difference in life?

You often hear of the 80/20 rule in business, where 80% of your effort leads to 20% of your results, and vice versa. What would happen if you worked out what your 20% was, and focussed as much attention as possible on that?

Go on, write a list. What are the top ten things that make a difference in your life? Now, prioritise those over everything else, no matter the sacrifice - it may annoy people at first, and you might experience some setbacks, but 80% beats 20% every day.

Thank you so much

I hope you've really enjoyed this little series with me, and I hope it's made a genuine difference to you.

I said in the opening post that I'm convinced that contentedness is a great state of mind to have. I truly believe that, and I believe you can be contented but still push for change, because my contentedness comes from a place outside of my life - and his name is Jesus.

SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP FOUR

We've looked at three steps to prepare for success in 2017 so far:

1. Evaluate your biggest life areas
2. Prioritise, and evaluate your thoughts and rituals
3. Prepare your mind: give yourself permission to be yourself, including accepting your past, and acknowledge what you can and can't change

Today, we're going to look at a really important fourth step, which I'll call ownership.

Own your roles

You hold many roles in life - looking at the different arenas I play in, I'm a husband, a dad, a technical specialist, a boss, an employee, a musician...some of those are more important to me than others. Which of your roles are most important to you?

Now, here's the challenge. Each of those roles belongs to you - you own them. That means that they're yours to do what you'd like with, and if you're not actively owning them, the chances are that things have started to go wrong.

It's easy to come up with excuses for not doing well in a particular role:

I'm sorry honey, I know I'm late home again, but I've got no choice but to stay in the office.

Sometimes (quite often, actually!) an excuse like that is a symptom of a lack of ownership. You're very rarely in a situation where you genuinely have no choice. You could choose to leave the office on time, and perhaps it would cost you a promotion, but which role is more important to you?

Let me tell you from experience: once you've decided up-front what your most important roles are, the tough calls become less tough, and you start to own them a whole lot more.

Own your goals

Now we get onto the exciting bits. Do you really want to see success this year? Set some big goals. Where do you want to be by 31 December 2017? How about by 2020?

Now, let's reverse engineer those, laying them over the rituals we talked about two weeks ago. What new rituals could you put in place that would point you in the direction of those goals? What would you have to do every day, every week and every month to achieve them?

And here's the secret:

Put them in your calendar.

Let's be silly for a moment. Perhaps you're single, but would like to be married. If you went on a date every night for the next six months, do you think you'd be closer, or further away from getting married? Of course you'd be closer! Of those dates, some of them may have been awful, you may miss a couple, and some you may have ended up going out with people you'd never normally choose to go out with, but who knows?

Give it a go. Set some big goals, with hard deadlines, and create some rituals today.

You can do it.

HOW TO GET HAPPY WHEN LIFE IS GETTING YOU DOWN

While at Newday, a group of teenagers were invited to take part in the shooting of a video, Joy has a name. Newday gives a safe and fun environment for over 5,000 teenagers to worship and learn more about Jesus, God's Son.

Part of the thread of the 2016 festival was the connection between the fruit of the Spirit and the person of Jesus.

It strikes me that often when we are encouraged to 'take joy' from happy circumstances, this suggests that joy is something to be grasped while it's available.

"I took great joy in seeing my grandchild smiling up at me."

"I took joy in being able to bask in such a beautiful sunset."

But it turns out that part of the fruit of the Spirit of Jesus is Joy: It's not taken by us, it's given by Jesus.

Joy - like fruit - grows and develops by virtue of the life flowing through the tree that bears it; in this case, the tree is Jesus.

Being a follower of Jesus, having his Spirit within us, gives the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Like fruit, these take time to grow and develop, however they are not dependent on our circumstances, but on our connection to Jesus.

---

Joy has a name

Joy has a name
Whispered in awe,
Shouted in triumph and
Partied abroad.

Joy out-runs
Mourning and tears,
Drowns out hatred and
Drives out fears.

Joy brings peace
And laughter soon after,
Joy gives release and
Heals much faster.

Joy has a name
Above all others
His name is Jesus
Joy of many colours.

If this seems like something out of your grasp, please come and find out more at Redeemer. You can find us on any Sunday morning at 10 am at Ealing Town Hall.

SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP THREE

Over the last two weeks, we've looked at a structured approach to prioritising life choices, and started to build an action plan to change. I hope you've started to experience a greater sense of vision, control and achievement...but we've barely scratched the surface of true, lasting success.

It's good to create a to-do list, and it needs to be supported by an attitude that turns those one-off actions into natural habits. So let's set to work on that.

Who are you?

We're bombarded every day by messages telling us to conform to other people's view of what good looks like. That might mean having a body that's a certain shape, earning a particular amount of money, living in a certain place, wearing certain clothes...

A lot of dissatisfaction in life comes from putting expectations on ourselves to be someone that we're simply not. The Bible says, "Do not be conformed to this world" (Romans 12:2), and Oscar Wilde said:

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.

So let me encourage you to do two things:

1. Ask yourself who you really are - what you're really like - and how people try to make you be someone different. Now, resolve to simply be yourself.
2. Write down a list of life experiences that have made you who you are today - good and bad. Now, accept that you can't go back in time and change them. You are who you are, and where you are, today, because of them.

What can you change?

Over the last couple of weeks, I've written a lot about things you can do to make a difference. And I expect you've thought at some point: "I can't change [enter your own circumstances here]."

Our lives are affected by the decisions of others, including our bosses, friends, family, politicians, and simple circumstances. And we can't change a lot of that. If there won't be a chance to be promoted until your boss quits, there's nothing you can do about that!

Your satisfaction will increase when you properly realise that you can't change everything.

And here's some even better news...there are some things that you definitely can change. What are those things you've always said that other people do that you can't? What would happen if you realised you could?

Maybe it's waking up half an hour earlier every day to learn a new skill, or a language, or to pray, or to read the Bible? Maybe it's building a budget...and sticking to it!

You will see greater success when you properly realise that you can change some things.

So we've looked at understanding and prioritising the most important areas of life, we've looked at our daily thoughts and rituals, and now we've looked at the attitudes that underpin those. Next week, we're going to take it to the next level, by taking proper ownership of our own lives.

WHAT TO DO WHEN NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW YOU'RE FEELING: INSEEP STILLENT TREMBLE-WRAP, BUMPBRUSH AND RESTILAX

Have you ever felt totally alone?

It's as if no-one is speaking your language.

As much as you try to express how you are feeling, and your friends nod obligingly, you feel like you're missing the mark; no one understands.

It can sometimes feel as if even God is not on your side. 

Psalm 88 expresses the feeling of abandonment well:

But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?

But soon, often through the healing prayers and conversation of those who've walked the same road themselves, comes healing and we can echo Psalm 147:

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

In this poem I've tried to put some of this into words:

(Those of you for whom English is your second language, don't panic; I've made up a lot of these words to emphasise just how difficult it is to express our feelings and how baffling we can appear to those around us.  But God understands.)

His stillent, smally whispers ooze into my mindconscious
like a dusk-sweet hotchoc, 
like a mocha sunrise welcoming wide
with embracements louder than fearage, 
not instructioning, but come in mending,
pushing enlightenmentations, praisements and incouragabilities
that I inseep onto my naked black and bruises.  
I tremble-wrap his echo within my born-worn soul
but he stainleaks through my weak cardio
when I bumpbrush against heartbeatings as fraggi-brittle as mine.
His hushed shade cools and breaths an enveloping: 
           "I understand." 
And so I restilax in his softly stronging arms.

Sometimes we know we're not making any sense; we just need someone to understand. I have a God for that.

If you identify with any of this, please know that you have a God who knows you and understands you to your core.  I encourage you to read the Psalms where you'll find those who have walked your path or something like it. And I encourage you to find friends who can walk with you. 

You will find fellow travellers at Redeemer, a community of Christians who value honest living and who worship a God who knows us.  You'll be most welcome.

HOW TO MAKE A DELICIOUS BANANA AND CHOCOLATE CHIP LOAF

I found this recipe online and little did I know, it was one of Mary Berry’s!

I don’t think I did just as well as Mary Berry but I tried...

This was my first time making this. Alsooo, it didn’t really turn out to be loaf shaped...

To be honest, it doesn’t really need to be loaf shaped, it could be any shape!

I’d recommend having a smaller tin, because it does make a small mixture (or double everything).

But it tastes greaaaatt and that’s the most important thing, right? Hahaaa!

Ingredients:

• 1 ripe banana (weight of 100g)
• 1 tbsp milk
• 50g soft butter
• 75g plain flour
• 75g caster sugar
• 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 free-range egg
• 50g chocolate chips

To decorate (optional):

• 50g chocolate chips

Equipment:

• Greaseproof paper
• Mixing bowl
• Electric whisk/wooden spoon
• Loaf tin

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 160°C/gas mark 3. Then, cover your tin with greaseproof paper.

2. Use a fork to mash the banana in a mixing bowl and add the remaining cake ingredients (except the chocolate chips) and mix with an electric whisk or a wooden spoon, until it’s well combined and smooth.

3. Stir the chocolate chips into your mixture and then put the mixture into your tin, levelling the top.

4. Bake for 40–45 minutes or until it’s risen, and golden brown.

5. After you’ve baked your banana and chocolate chip loaf, place it aside, and let it cool down fully.

6. For decoration, melt the chocolate chips into a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water (making sure the bowl doesn’t touch the water). Stir the chocolate, until it’s melted.

7. Get a spoon, and drizzle the melted chocolate on top of your loaf. You could let the chocolate set or just eat it straight away, up to you!

After that’s all done, it’s time to diiigggg innnnn!!

I'm not sure whether it'll be this or something else, but I'm sure I'll be taking something to share with Benjamina from the Great British Bake Off when she visits on Tuesday.

Why not come along?

SUCCESS IN 2017: STEP TWO

While we're still in January, I thought it would be helpful for us all to walk through a life assessment and action plan together. I wrote last week about the five life indicators of health, relationships, vocation, emotions and lifestyle - if you've not read that yet, I'd recommend starting there first.

This week, we're going to dig a bit deeper.

Question 1: which of the life indicators is most important to you?

During last week's exercise, which of the five stood out to you the most? What got you the most excited or frustrated? Which matters the most?

Now, what decisions do you need to make to prioritise that area over the others?

Question 2: what is your thought trajectory?

This may take a while, because I'd like you to think about what you think about. What thoughts do you find yourself thinking most often? When you're thinking about yourself, are your thoughts along the lines of "you should do better", or "you can do it!"? What false or unsubstantiated thoughts do you find yourself thinking the most? What thoughts would you like to think more often - and how could you make that happen?

Question 3: what is your ritual trajectory?

A lot of people don't like the word ritual, but it just means repeated behaviour. What sort of thing do you find yourself doing most often? What takes up your time on your commute, or at weekends? What do you do first thing in the morning and last thing at night?

Now, if you continue with those rituals, where will they lead you? Will they make you a better person? Or are they pointless wastes of time? What could you change about those rituals?

Next steps...

We spent last and this week looking at what could change in our lives, and hopefully by now we all have good, measurable to-do lists that we're starting to tick off...but life isn't as simple as a checklist.

Next week, we're going to pick up on those areas that we can't change, because life is bigger than constant activity!

I'M A BIG BOY NOW, AND I STILL CRY. HERE'S WHY...

"Don't cry. You're a big boy now."

Growing up in the 60s and 70s I can clearly recall the admonishment to wipe away my tears and 'be a big boy'. 

OK, so I was a teary child. 

My school reports from junior school note that I was a 'sensitive child'.  When emotions ran high, tears would flow.  My eyes are still likely to well up in response to a song or a TV drama.  I also find that my eyes water in worship and in prayer. 

I used to be embarrassed by this readiness to cry (it wasn't appropriate when I was a police constable!),  but now in my 50s, I worry less about what others may think and focus more on what my emotional response is telling me. 

It may simply indicate that I'm emotionally or physically over-stretched and that I need some down time.  It might be an appropriate empathetic reaction to the story of a fellow human being.  It can be a response to the compassion shown by a friend.

Or it may be the wholly appropriate reflex when I'm overwhelmed by God's presence.

Tears are good. They are a communicator, they are an indicator, a release. 

There's a physiological reason why we feel better after 'a good cry'.  Tears release stress and kill pain.  They are also natural eye drops and they contain antibacterials.

(Excess tears can also flood the drainage ducts that lead into the nasal passage, hence the runny nose when you're crying.)

I now embrace that emotional side of me and I value those I meet who feel the same, especially if they are grown men.  Jesus wasn't afraid to weep in public (see Luke 19:41 and John 11:35) and neither should we be.

This poem is to all you grown men out there who aren't afraid to weep.

Love you, mate.
Love your contagious tears
As they breach your ducts,
And gloss your cheeks,
Running free and reaching down
Past the lump in your throat
to your vulnerable heart.

Love you, mate.
Love your resistance to temptation
To back hand compassion,
Instead emoting with no hesitation,
Never embarrassed
To tell the world
That no-one's too big to weep.

If you are quick to tears, don't be embarrassed.   It's just part of being human. 

And you'll find that your tears are not out of place at Redeemer on a Sunday morning at Ealing town hall.  Feel free to join us from 10:30am.

MAKE THIS YOUR FIRST STEP TO SUCCESS IN 2017

London is a busy place.

I'm not the first person in 2017 to notice that people in London are impatient, walk fast, drive close, demand convenience...and are driven to succeed.

I don't think I've met anyone since moving to London who's said:

Do you know, my life's not perfect, but I'm fine with accepting that.

More often, I encounter:

Life is great...but I still want more!

I believe that there's a big challenge to Londoners to become content with what we have, because the chances are that the challenges you and I face are real first-world problems...but equally, there's nothing wrong with setting ambitious goals and achieving them.

The year is young, and who knows what you might turn it into?

Come with me on a journey of self-discovery and future building. I'm going to post a series of blog entries walking us through some exercises I hope you find helpful.

In this first entry, we're going to dig into the five life indicators:

1 Health

Did you know that often, the most successful people in the world are also really healthy? Getting a good amount of sleep, drinking lots of water and eating healthily will all contribute to your ability to making lasting change.

2 Relationships

Who are your key relationships with? Who would you like better relationships with? Who would you like relationships with that you currently don't have? It's funny that the people with the best friendships tend to just be the friendliest people - we can all learn a lesson and be friendly.

3 Vocation

What takes up the most of your time? Is it a job, or a role in the home, or a role in society? What could you do that would make you feel more fulfilled in that?

4 Emotions

What are the three emotions you feel most of the time? How positive are those words? What could you do that would create more positive emotions?

5 Lifestyle

Where does your time and money go? How satisfied does that answer make you? How could you improve that?

Next steps...

I'd really encourage you to write down your answers to the questions above - it should lead you to a nice to-do list.

But the work's not done yet! Keep your eye on the blog, because the next entry in this series will be appearing in a week.

2016: GOOD RIDDANCE?

As the year draws closer to its end, it's natural to look back and wonder how 2016 will appear in the history books...and there are so many historic events to wonder at!

The year of celebrity death

I won't even start listing them here, but 2016 was a bad year to be a celebrity.

The year of political upheaval

Just spend a moment thinking about what's happened in politics this year.

• Brexit
• Syria
• Jeremy Corbyn, Momentum, and shadow cabinet resignations galore
• The rotating UKIP leadership and boxing matches
• Istanbul
• Italy
• France
• Donald Trump
• Donald "I'd like to punch him in the face, I tell ya" Trump

The year of football

2016 was the year of Leicester City...for a while. It was the year that England lost to Iceland (man, that was painful to write). We had Sam Allardyce in that pub. And now we have a scandal unfolding before our eyes, and who knows what that will turn into?

Your year...?

How has your 2016 been? Are you in a better place now than you were in 2015? Or would you go back and redo 2016 in a heartbeat if you had the chance?

I've frequently returned to one thought this year. There's been a lot of change and uncertainty, but one thing hasn't changed:

God is in control.

If nothing else, 2016 has proven, once and for all, that people have issues. If we put our trust in celebrities, they will all eventually just die. If we put our trust in politics, the system simply won't work. If we put our trust in some random diversion, our only guarantees are uncertainty, disappointment and disillusionment.

But God is in control.

I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.

THE MOVE FROM SNAKE TO SMARTPHONE, AND WHAT THAT MEANS FOR YOUR FUTURE

We did not have a home telephone at all until I was about 9 years old. If I wanted to communicate with people, I wrote them a letter!

I clearly remember when we moved house, and the new place had a phone line. I was taught by my parents that when I answered the telephone to clearly say:

• my name
• our phone number
• "how can I help you?"

I was one of three boys that used to run to the sound of the phone...who is it and what do they want!

Things gradually changed.

The spinning numbers were replaced by push buttons.

The phone directory that I used to try and rip up with my bare hands when the new one arrived was replaced by the internet.

What had once been hugely thrilling can now feel intrusive. I got an answerphone so that we did not have to take calls during family mealtimes...but it also took calls at other times, and just created a list of people for me to phone back.

I was given a mobile phone when I was almost 30 years old.

The brick that I carried round could call anyone anywhere, and if I was bored I could even play ‘snake’ on it.

Freedom.

I was no longer tied to only talking to people when at home.

I didn't have to wait for the phone when someone else was using it.

The call was always for me!

This week I finally got rid of my landline.

Nobody ever seemed to call (apart from cold calls seeing if I'd been miss-sold PPI) and nobody in the house ever bothered to answer it.

But more importantly...

My smartphone can now do everything!

• I no longer use a separate camera - I can take pictures with my phone
• I can spend and move my money so do not need to visit the bank
• I can have spoken directions via Google Maps, so no longer need a London A-Z
• I have not needed to buy my kids a set of encyclopedias, as they can look up information with a swipe of a finger

For many, ‘change is considered loss’, but as 2016 comes to an end and 2017 beckons, I want to look forward optimistically.

I wonder what new things will come and how life will change into the future...and I wonder what you will do differently in 2017!

A POEM FOR CHRISTMAS

Christmas can be a time
When families get together:
Young children scream, wine glasses gleam,
Both ready for M&S dinner.

TV's in the corner
Rerunning Home Alone,
Heart Radio's in the kitchen,
Chris Rea's driving home, 
Again.

Toddlers find the wrapping
More engaging than the Duplo
Teen couples find the company
Less of interest than their own.

The dog's confused and excited
With so many different sources
Of scratches and pats, he can't relax,
His whining is remorseless.

Christmas can be a time
When families are missed,
The parcel made last post
Winging off to little sis.

Skype will come in handy
To laugh across the miles,
The screen will mask the tears
And focus on the smiles.

Gran will talk of Christmas past
When everyone was home
'Cept in Gulf War 1 when Uncle John
Went away, ....

Christmas can be a time
When budgets get stretched tight,
Cash pressures get to breaking point
And prompt senseless fights.

Some focus on opportunity
To spend some gilt-free money,
The only prayers are for extra hours
And a faster Tesco trolley.

For others it's simply 'Yuletide'
An excessive celebration,
A winter feast, all you can eat,
Give in to all temptation.

Most focus on the family,
Even more on the gifts;
There's little time for Jesus
Assigned amongst the myths.

Some do remember Jesus
From half-forgotten carols,
They know there's something more
Than donkeys and angel heralds.

For there He is in the middle,
Noticed once in a while;
It's His birthday, but all He's getting
Is a half-hearted song and a smile.

He's no longer a babe in a manger,
He's now a resurrected King,
Waiting for those who would worship
To stand and welcome Him in.

Whatever your experience of Christmas
You can come just as you are,
His love is unconditional
He'll accept you warts and all.

So come on!
It’s a season to celebrate!
To dance, to sing and to shout!
Your Saviour invites you to join Him,
So when you sing this Christmas,
BELT it out.

REMEMBERING ONE THING THIS CHRISTMAS MIGHT MAKE IT YOUR BEST YET...

The countdown to Christmas has begun!

The first Sunday of Advent has passed, and it's all leading up to the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Now, I don’t know about you, but sometimes it can get a bit samey. We’ve all heard the Christmas story every year for as long as we can remember.

Well, this year I started reading an Advent devotional wondering if I'd learn anything new (if you're looking for a good one, check out these, specifically for ladies or gentlemen). One of the passages from the Bible referenced on the first day was one I’d read many times before, but as I read the verse out loud I suddenly found, out of nowhere, tears falling down my face:

Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel—which, when translated, means, God with us. (Matthew 1:23)

I’m sure many of us have had this experience.

A verse we’ve seen hundreds of times before suddenly hits something deep inside, and we feel like we’re reading it for the first time. This verse was a quote from the prophet Isaiah 700 years before Jesus’ birth (Isaiah 7:14). This verse was describing a plan that had been a long time in the making, even way before Isaiah made this prophecy. A plan to rectify and remedy a mess, to bring things back to how they were originally meant to be, before we separated ourselves from God:

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.’ (Genesis 3:8)

The whole history of humanity, laid out for us to read in the Bible, and continuing with you and me today, has been one of pursuit and love.

The love of a Father who desires to come close.

And I know I too feel far off sometimes, but the truth of the matter is that the culmination of this story began that day: a baby born in a shed in a small Middle Eastern town called Bethlehem. 

God with us. God come to make his home in us. God come to repair the brokenness. God come to save, redeem and restore.

Emmanuel - God with us.

Somehow this year feels different. Emmanuel. Maybe I’m only really hearing this for the first time. That God, the all powerful, all mighty, nothing is impossible, holy and wonderful God, would choose to come and live on this Earth, and make my heart his dwelling place. No other God would do that. No other God would stoop that low. No other God says YOU are worth that, worth giving anything, just to be with. 

Not only did he come that one day as a baby, thousands of years ago, but he didn’t stop there. He comes again and again. Day after day, hour after hour, he comes, he is with us.

For a long time, I’ve struggled with the concept that maybe his presence with me is the only guarantee in this life. I wanted health, relationships, finance, a career. If I'm honest I felt cheated that knowing God didn’t guarantee any of that, and the promise that he would never leave me nor forsake me whatever I faced in life just didn’t seem quite enough.

But maybe something in me is changing, some revelation of what it really means that my God is Emmanuel – God with us. The power and the privilege of his presence, and that that really is more than enough.

Please come and celebrate our Emmanuel this Sunday (11 December) at one of our candlelit carol services. Ealing Town Hall, 4pm and 6pm.

THE DANGER OF POSITIVE THINKING

I heard a radio discussion on the flaws of positive thinking and the false hope that accompanies it:

False hope binds us to unliveable situations and blinds us to real possibilities. In contrast, a healthy uneasiness with the status quo prompts the exploration of alternatives. (The Power of Negative Thinking, Radio 4)

He went on to say:

We use the word hope for situations over which we have no agency.  We don't hope to eat.  We do it.  In contrast, we would hope that the plane doesn't crash."

It follows then, that next time I find myself hoping something will be okay, it's wise to take it as a prompt to ask:

Do I really have no agency over the situation?  Or can I get up and impact the status quo? 

What they were saying was that positive thinking as an alternative to taking action is not positive at all. Believing I am powerless when I'm not is negative.

For example, I wouldn't stand over a heart attack victim with car keys in hand, saying 'I hope you get to hospital'. I'd act. Instead of thinking to myself, 'I hope that poor man finds somewhere to stay this Christmas,' I can support a charity like Shelter.

Hope alone can be unhealthy if it blinds us to what we can do to make a change.

In contrast, sometimes hope is an appropriate acknowledgement that we can't effect change and shouldn't waste energy worrying. Once I've chosen to get on that plane, I can't effect its ability to stay in the air.  So hope alone in a situation that is outside my control might be appropriate. 

But I have a proposal.

Add to hope a dose of trust, and you have a more potent force, bringing peace.

Let me explain.

Acknowledging situations in which you really don't have agency and in which you are reliant on another (e.g. the designer of the plane and the pilot) is a rational response. If the object of your trust is worthy of that trust, your hope is well-founded and brings peace of mind. Instead of worrying about stuff that you cannot change, you have more headspace to instead focus on those things that you can change.

You can probably see where I'm going with this.

Romans 15:13 reads: 'May the God of Hope fill you with all Joy and Peace as you Trust in him, so that you may overflow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.' 

A trustworthy God in whom we hope brings peace and joy.

Hold that thought in balance with James 1:27 where we read: 'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.'  This is an admonishment to act.

To realise the truth in both these passages we need discernment to recognise when to trust, and when to act.

For example:

My mother is suffering from vascular dementia.  My sisters and I hope and trust that God will continue to give her peace and will care for her.  Equally, we acted to buy a tracker for her keyring so we know where she is, and between us we spend time with her to ensure she takes her medication and that she eats regularly.

So we act to meet her needs rather than sit back and hope God will step in.  Meanwhile, the overflow of hope and trust we have in God empowers us and my mother.

We do not walk with blind faith. We walk with eyes wide open to the hope that is founded on God's grace toward us, while actively looking for opportunities to act.

So here's my challenge to you.

Sit and think this Christmas season. What issues are preying on your mind?  Where will you place your Hope? On a new year resolution? On the lottery? On your ability to think positively?

Or in a trustworthy God?

You can choose to trust. So act now. You'll find fellow travellers at Ealing Town Hall any Sunday morning.

TURN ADVENT UPSIDE-DOWN, SHE SAID...

This year in the run up to Christmas I was struck by an idea floating on the web.

A reverse advent calendar.

Instead of (or as well as) opening an advent calendar door each morning for a piece of chocolate to munch with your cereal flakes of choice, create a collection for someone struggling to make ends meet this Christmas.

Here's how it works.

Each day in the run up to Christmas, put aside a staple food item, or something a little more festive. And just before Christmas, hand it to a local foodbank or a charity supporting the homeless, to be passed on to someone who may not be looking forward to the same happy Christmas time that you are.

Find out ideas for the best items to include and your local foodbank at the Trussell Trust website.

If you're in Ealing, why not head straight to the Ealing Foodbank Redeemer helped to set up.

Spread some joy this Christmas.

---

Reverse Advent

This year, although I know
That you're keen
To set up that nativity scene, 
I'm advocating an alternative means, 
A change in priorities
For your generosity.

I'm anointing a reversal, 
Suggesting you parcel
A hamper of staples
And so turn the tables
On advent doors
That ignore the poor. 

I'm asking that you choose
To proclaim the good news
Beyond the pews, 
To pursue a change of people's views
Of what they thought they knew
This meant.
Yes, let's reverse this advent
And make something heaven-sent. 

Have a great Advent.

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR CV AND MAKE FRIENDS DOING IT

This Sunday just gone, Pete stirred us about how we can fight the negative temptations around power can be used in humility to serve.

My employer is quite progressive in its people policies.

Our director of HR is listed in HR magazines most influential practitioners.

One policy I particularly like is the offer of paid leave each year to work in the community, to give something back.

This year found my team clearing the undergrowth at St Mary's Church, Leyton. We came out dirty, sore and smiling. 

The philosophy behind the policy is that:

• communities are served well, meaning my organisation is using its power ethically
• teams can learn about each other in new situations, so their experience is good for team building and morale
• individuals can develop new skills and confidence by stepping outside their typical working day

Colleagues of mine coach school children on numeracy, English, CV writing, etc. and in doing so they broaden their abilities.

For me, whether it's been serving on the PTA , on a local children's music club committee (I recommend Questors Young Musicians Club), visiting an old people's home, leading the Redeemer setup team or serving on the Redeemer welcome team, over the years I've found opportunities outside my daily routine to stretch new muscles, make new friends, and in so doing both I and others have benefited.

Jesus came to serve, he said. We can follow his example.

So for your own good and for the good of others, I recommend that you find some way of serving. You may get your hands dirty, but you'll also have more able hands as a result.

Serving develops new skills.
Serving helps make friends.
Serving builds self-confidence.
Serving keeps us humble.
Serving strengthens ties to our community.
Serving builds character.
Serving follows the example of Christ.

If you'd like to serve on a team at Redeemer, you'll be most welcome (just email), but that's not what this blog is about.

Find a place to serve.

You'll be the better for it. 

HERE IS WHAT TO DO IF YOU DON'T ENJOY YOUR JOB

I saw a video on Facebook the other day – it was headlined as something like ‘the most important thing you’ll see all month’, and I respected the person who had shared it, so I gave it a quick view.

The message of the video was essentially this:

You are going to be at work for the vast majority of your life, so make sure you’re doing something you enjoy.

This message rings true with me, as I’m sure it does with you. I don’t like the idea that I’m going to spend 40 years doing something with no purpose other than to get money to pay for stuff I can barely squeeze into my spare time.

Even if you have a stand-out ‘successful’ career and earn millions, if that’s only then used to fund a house and a family you barely see, what point is there to that really?

It all comes down to this:

Your life will be better, and you will be happier, if you’re doing something you love, even if that means taking home less money at the end of the month.

I agree.

But I don’t agree with the practical advice this video gave, which was ‘make sure you’re doing something you enjoy.’

Huh?

What would happen if we spun that around, to say instead:

Make sure you enjoy what you’re doing.

If I’m doing something I don’t enjoy, that turns me into a victim. This job is happening to me, and I’m subject to my evil boss’s nasty commands.

But if I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, that puts me in a position of power. I can solve this problem, by changing my attitude.

Instead of answering the questions of what else I could be doing that would make me happier, I’m answering the question of what I genuinely enjoy about this job I’m in. That feels a lot more positive – doesn’t that feel better?

I see the Bible telling us to be content with what we have, and I don’t see the Bible telling us that satisfaction lies in grabbing at things we don’t have.

Homework for today then: Write a list of the 100 things you most enjoy about your job, then if you bring it along on a Sunday morning and share it with me, I’ll share mine with you.