Redeemer Church London member Stephan Amaranath shares his testimony, revealing how being assaulted nearly a decade ago left him questioning God - before the Lord provided him with the answer he needed.
Back in 2016, I was assaulted one Sunday evening, and found myself questioning why God had allowed it to happen. Following the incident, I started to question God: Where was he? Why would he let this happen to me? I thought he loved me? I felt very alone and needed answers. Why hadn't God rescued me?
I was born in 1991 in London into a Christian family where my mother in fact came from a Hindu background. My parents had given their lives to Christ and were born again Christians before I was born. I have four sisters, two of whom live in Canada - we were a very close family unit and I felt loved and safe growing up. Growing up in a Christian household, I attended church regularly from a very young age and very much enjoyed Sunday school.
Unfortunately, God did not figure much in my life during my undergraduate degree. Being away from home for the first time and being exposed to a new world I was unprotected from, my faith and God were not priorities. However, I started attending Redeemer Church London after graduating from the University of Sussex and moving back home in 2012.
The sense of community and being made to feel welcomed from the get go, is what I loved most about Redeemer. Being at there has helped me in my walk with God as I’ve had the opportunity to surround myself with people on fire for God and have had the opportunity for accountability with the men from the church.
I then went on to complete my masters at the University of Kent in 2019, which helped me land my current role working for the NHS.
I currently work with adults with learning disabilities. My past experience has been working with those with special educational needs and disabilities and I very much love my career to date.
Up until the time of the assault in 2016, I had experienced some setbacks and bad experiences such as being bullied, being mugged once before and being in Sri Lanka during the 2004 tsunami (these are stories for another time). Despite these experiences, I did feel I was in control of my life and lived a fairly safe life, thanks to my family and upbringing.
But that assault in 2016 was different! I was shaken deep inside and was doubting the goodness of God as I never had before! To my surprise, God gave me an answer.
I got sent a short yet nourishing verse, “I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4). Suddenly, I realised why I couldn’t feel or see God’s comfort or care that day. He is always there, whether or not I sense him. When I call out to him, he'll never fail me.
God doesn't take away hard times, but we can certainly find strength and hope knowing that he will always be with us and will help us through. If we have gone through life trusting in our own judgement, we may find it harder to submit to God and his plan for us. If we refuse to see God’s hand and direction in our lives, we may never know just how good he can be to us.
“Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!” (Psalm 34:8) We will face many hard times. Some of these are inevitable and beyond our control, but these can be endured with God’s help.
Some of our anguish and affliction is self-imposed and can be avoided, yet God still offers peace as we gather the courage to make the necessary changes in our lives. God’s forgiveness and affectionate approval can give us peace as we face hard times, even when the hurting we face is our very own fault.
He has the authority to guide us down the path of life; he has already conquered all the barriers that stand in the way!
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
