HANWELL'S BEST HANGOUT

Among the things I love about living in Hanwell are the great parks, the canal I can walk, run or cycle beside, easy access to Ealing and London, the great schools (I teach in one of them!), the fantastic sense of community here and events that encourage this (we recently had the Hanwell Hootie)...and The Clocktower café! 

I'm very fortunate to only work four days a week, so I love to visit the café on my day off each Friday. It's a great place to relax and hang out!

What do I love most about this café?

• I love the quirky, vintage interior and the different array of seating from bar stools to armchairs and sofas to benches with cushions – a very ‘homely’ environment in which to unwind
• I love the fact that I always bump into someone I know from the local area – it really is a great place to connect with others from the community
• I love the fresh, authentic, home-made food that is available from breakfast to brunch and lunch – not to mention the delicious cakes that are pretty irresistible (the Battenberg being a favourite!)
• I love the slowed-down, relaxed feeling you get there – you are never hurried away – you are always made to feel very welcome by the staff
• I love the fact that it's on my doorstep so I can enjoy it as often as I like – it really is one of Hanwell’s great treasures

If you haven't been – why not check it out on Facebook?

It's good to discover places where you can hang out, and be refreshed from the busyness of life.

I love gathering with the Redeemer community on Sundays to know God’s refreshing and empowering presence in our lives

Jesus said:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28)

And one of the early church leaders explained the truth of gathering together:

...that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord... (Acts 3:20)

Why not come and hang out this Sunday?

I trust that you will also feel welcomed, feel that you have 'come home’, enjoy the coffee and cakes, and know something of God’s peace for you in the busyness of your life.

FIVE LESSONS I LEARNED IN MIAMI

I need a holiday!

We all say that at some point in life, don't we?

My husband Mark loves to travel.

Before we got together he had already travelled half the world, and I feel like I've travelled the other half since marrying him.

I'm so privileged to have been able to travel around a lot of England and Wales - I love the UK and would quite happily take all of my holiday exploring villages, coastlines and cities...but having kids hasn't stopped Mark wanting to explore what our stunning, God-created world has to offer.

My maternity leave has just come to an end.

Mark and I thought it would be great to make the most of my final days at home and take the boys on holiday - not least because school holiday prices are horrendous!

Our next decision: Where do we go?

Mark is an adventurous man, so said:

Argentina! The boys will love it, and we can get a camper van!

We actually spent some time travelling around New Zealand in a camper van on my last maternity leave.

As much fun as I am sure that would have been, I declined.

Two boys under three in a confined camper van exploring a country where we don't speak the language? Thanks, but no thanks!

We went to Dubai with both boys in February and had a great time.

Hot weather, city, beach ticked all the boxes for us.

So we decided to go to Miami, Florida.

The flight was almost 9 hours each way with a 5 hour time difference to the UK.

Jet lag + sleepless nights + long-distance travelling + toddlers might not be everyone's idea of fun!

We spent two days in Orlando visiting Disney parks, which isn't very long. Most people go for at least two weeks and visit all the parks. Both were great, and Levi fulfilled his dream of meeting Buzz Lightyear!

Zachary was none the wiser, but he's mastered the art of crawling, so it's a good job we didn't go with the camper van idea!

We then spent a week on the beach in Miami.

Sand, sun, swimming pools, ice creams, cocktails...bliss!

But Mark and I couldn't sit still for a whole week, so we did a few road trips, one of which involved seeing wild alligators!

We all had a great time and were glad to spend some quality family time together.

So, here you go. My five things for you to take away.

1. Travel
   Explore the world, the country, or even just the town you live in! Walk a different way home from the station - you may find a hidden gem in your local area you never knew was there.
2. Do "Your Thing"
   Mark would say: "Travelling is my thing"! What is your thing? Do it and enjoy it!
3. Create memories
   Be around the ones you love - family and friends - and share life together. Take photos to look back on when you're older.
4. Be thankful
   I'm so grateful for my privileged life. I need to remember to thank Jesus more for what he has blessed me with - a good job, money and the chance to go on holiday.
5. Love being local!
   Enjoy your surroundings, the people around you and what Ealing has to offer.

HERE'S HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD MAKE EALING EVEN HAPPIER.

Ever since the Panama Papers news story, I've been thinking a lot about money. Then I read this, in the Financial Times of all places.

A couple of weeks ago the top 'reader's question' in the Management section was essentially:

My partner and I have similar jobs at the same organisation. He just got a 20% pay rise. Should I force him to pay 20% more than I do towards rent and other expenses? What do you think?

The answer to this relationship issue is obvious to me.

Forget about the money.

Surely a relationship is priceless.

I love my job.
But if my employer didn't pay me, I wouldn't turn up to work.
I don't get paid to be a husband and a daddy, but I still turn up anyway.

Dear Financial Times reader: I assume you love your partner. Why not try being generous to them with your money?

---

Money has a way of appearing incredibly important.

We've been sold the idea that more money will make us happier, in spite of celebrities' ludicrous lifestyles that publicly fall apart on the pages of every newspaper.

For example, it's easy to judge wealthy people who can afford to avoid tax, but I can guarantee you two things:

1. If you or I were in the same situation, we'd do exactly the same thing. Don't even pretend that you wouldn't. When the Government announces an increase in a tax-free allowance, I don't tell them to keep my money anyway. Tax avoidance is legal, and should be expected. (As opposed to tax evasion.)
2. If a wealthy person is happy, it's not down to their wealth. They'll be happy because of the relationships in their life, or experiences they're having.

So...

QUESTION: How much money do I need to be happy?
ANSWER: Just a little bit more.

I implore you, don't stake your happiness on the amount you earn or your bank balance.

Instead, please look at all the evidence and realise that you'll be happier if you're more generous, regardless of how wealthy you are.

Here's the really good news...

Every Sunday we have an opportunity to get happier by giving away our money - Redeemer will use it to transform Ealing and support others around London and around the world!

There's only one question left:

How happy do you actually want to be?

I HAD TO USE A SHIELD FOR MY JOB. HERE'S HOW IT CHANGED THE WAY I LIVE MY LIFE.

Captain America 3 will soon be with us, this time with Spider-man in action as well!

Cap's iconic shield flying through the air and amazingly returning to him is a sight that I never tire from seeing.

Yes, I'm a fan, and have been since my exposure to Marvel comics as a child of the 60s. 

But my real life exposure to working with a shield is somewhat different.

In 1981 I joined the Metropolitan Police Force. (Yes, back then it was called a force rather than a service.)

At the age of 19 I was walking the streets of Lewisham trying to keep law and order. 1981 was the year of the inner city riots, and as a result my basic training included shield training.

I learned how to hide behind a 5 foot 6 inch shield, interlocked with two others with a third in position above my head, huddled together with a unit of six officers.

4 shields, 6 officers, shuffling forward with projectiles raining down on us, trying to get close enough to arrest someone or to work with other units to control a crowd.

Depending on your politics and experience of the police that may sound exciting or scary.

My perspective has certainly changed over time.

But one thing my experience of being in the middle of a shield unit has given me is a perspective on something the apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:

"Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." 

Paul wrote this when the Roman Empire was in charge.

Roman soldiers carried a type of shield that was designed to be used in concert with their fellow soldiers. It formed a wall, sometimes in defense, sometimes as an offensive tactic. Yes, they could be used individually, but there was always a call for them to be used together. This was called a Testudo formation. 

Here are a couple of things I learned from my experience of using a shield.

First, a shield worth having is heavy, especially when you're standing around waiting for something to happen. But a strange thing happens when it's time to lift it up and lock it in with the shields either side of you ready for action. The weight is that much easier to carry because you are focusing on what it's doing for you and for those around you. At times like that, the weight is secondary. And the more you use it, the easier it is to handle.

Second, situations that seem really scary are a lot more straightforward to deal with when you have a bunch of people with you that you trust and are trained to use their shields. For example, a deranged guy waving a samurai sword around an inner London housing estate is easier to deal with when you have a team with shields to work alongside you.

There's a direct application here of how to live a life of faith.

1. The more you act in faith the more proficient you'll become.
2. You don't need to stand alone. There's strength to be gained from standing alongside those who share the same faith you have in Christ.

So forget the image of Captain America standing alone with his frisbee shield. Instead, take up the Roman-style shield of faith and stand shoulder-to-shoulder together with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Together we make a formidable force against whatever gets thrown our way.

HOW MY LOVE FOR ARSENAL HAS COST ME

I have been a fan of the greatest North London team since my older brother informed me at primary school that ‘they are our team’.

I'm talking about Arsenal.

As a child, I wanted to wear the kit, had posters all round my room of the players and loved anything with their badge attached. Pencil case, rubber and ruler all became more valuable if painted red and white.

I have been faithful to the Gunners throughout the years...

• Drinking tea out of an Arsenal mug as a student
• Wearing the scarf on playground duty when a primary school teacher
• Instructing my kids ‘they are our team’
• Even preaching about the club at church - they are the only team mentioned in the Bible (Jeremiah 50:25)

Despite all this I still struggle this season…

I thought after the FA Cup final last year, and the sudden drop of form of Manchester United and Chelsea, that this would be our year!

Yet here I am at the beginning of May, still hopeful that we can make fourth place in the Premier League to scrape into European football again next season.

This faithfulness to Arsenal costs me - in time, emotion and money.

What are you faithful to, and what is it costing you?

I encouraged us in a sermon recently that Christians should pray, serve and give. So let me make that challenge again.

Will you pray?

Will you serve?

Will you give?

RICH? CHECK. FAMOUS? CHECK. HAPPY? LET'S CHECK...

There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were.

Over 80% said that a major life goal was to get rich. 50% said that a major life goal was to become famous.

But does becoming rich and famous actually lead to a happy and fulfilled life?

Recently I spoke at our Sunday service about this very question.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development studied this topic, and it may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years, they've tracked the lives of 724 men, year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, and their health.

In this TED talk, Robert Waldinger (Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development), explains their findings:

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.

End of story.

Social connections are really good for us, and loneliness turns out to be toxic.

People who are more socially connected to family, to friends, and to community, are happier, physically healthier, and even live longer than people who are less connected.

People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy. Their health declines sooner, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they die sooner.

It's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship...but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

If we're honest, we all know deep down that this is true - relationships are really significant.

Deepening our relationships with God and others has the capacity to change our hearts more than money or fame ever will.

Let me encourage you to invest in relationships rather than material things.

If you haven’t ever visited Redeemer on a Sunday, let me take this opportunity to extend a warm invitation to you to do so.

If you haven’t been to church in a while, or ever before...that’s fine. We were all in your shoes at one point.

But more than anything else, I want you to know that our Sunday service is a safe place, free from judgement but full of hospitality, love and grace.

Redeemer is a great place to build friendships and meet new people.

You can find out more about our Sunday services here.

SIR ANDREW PUT ALL HIS EGGS IN ONE BASKET, AND SO DID I. WILL YOU?

Did you know...the global headquarters of one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the world is at the bottom of Boston Manor Road.

GSK produces medicines, vaccines and consumer products. It has a strong heritage of innovation in healthcare, and its CEO, Andrew Wittty, was knighted in 2012 for services to the economy and the UK pharmaceutical industry.

I read in the Financial Times recently that the company recently began searching for a replacement CEO. Witty has spent his entire career at GSK and has been CEO for eight years.

Witty is a home-grown talent, and at 51 years old is still relatively young - why would GSK allow him to leave?

This article claimed that under Mr Witty’s leadership, the company has faced challenges, including a bribery scandal in China and financial performance that some people are not impressed with.

But a GSK took a very bold strategic decision that got some strong voices to begin to call for change.

GSK decided to swap its cancer drugs for vaccines and consumer goods. They reasoned that GSK would be in a better place commercially with high-volume, low-price products. Cancer drugs have a higher price per unit, but many obstacles stop them getting approved and sold for profit.

Mr Witty took the company’s ‘eggs’ out of the cancer treatment ‘basket’ and put them in the vaccine/consumer goods ‘basket’, going against the general thinking in the industry and the shareholder community.

Mr Witty remains confident that his strategy will pay off, but he appears to have bet on it with a career of over 30 years and the leadership of the company where he spent his entire career.

Time will tell if he was right or wrong.

Have you ever taken a risk and put all your eggs in one basket?

What was the outcome of your decision?

I once put all my eggs in one basket. As a student, I was involved in a competition where we formed a team, and bid for the opportunity to solve business problems for companies.

We could only bid for a maximum of three projects, and once we accepted an offer we had to exit the entire bidding process. There were six in my team, and two people were responsible for each project that we were bidding for.

We were successful in securing the first two projects that we went for.  

The problem was that our third pitch, to be held the next day, was for the project we really wanted, and I was the leader for that pitch. We had to decide, that day, whether to play safe and keep one of the two projects that we had already secured, or give them up and gamble on getting our first choice.

I had a dream about our first choice project; I woke up, prayed about it and was confident to go for it.

Despite my attempt to persuade the team, the other team members were unsure, so we took a vote. The vote hung on a knife edge at three votes to two. The last member of the team finally cast his vote in favour of taking the gamble; we rejected the two secured projects, and I had two very important jobs to do.

1. I had to call the bid coordinator and reject the two secured projects.
2. I had to lead the pitch for our first choice project.

Once I did the first task (not an easy conversation), the second task became easier.

We were all united…the only acceptable outcome for us was to win that bid!

I delivered the pitch, we got the project, and were given £20,000 to do the work. We had put our eggs in the right basket! 

At some point in our lives, we will all be faced with big questions.

To what cause will you devote your life?

In whom will you put your faith?

There will be alternatives to consider and a decision to be made, with each alternative presenting its own set of benefits and consequences. Not making a decision is one of the options, with its own benefits and consequences.

So how will you make your choice?

If you like looking at evidence as a basis for decision-making, look at Jesus.

Like Mr Witty, he was a leader who devoted his entire public ministry to providing health solutions, catering for the spiritual and physical wellbeing of the people. Like Mr Witty, he upset the leaders of his community with his recommended strategy for success.

Jesus made a number of bold claims including the suggestion that he can deliver a fulfilled life, give peace, provide hope, and that he is the way to God.

Jesus said that everyone who wants access to God should put their faith in him.

He also said that he would die and be raised from the dead. The leaders of his time finally had enough and put paid to his career by executing him.

Mr Witty’s legacy remains in the uncertain hands of history, but Jesus’ legacy is secure.

True to his word, he died and was raised from the dead after three days, regularly remembered by over a billion people all over the world.

If you are looking for a proven basket in which to put your eggs, choose Jesus.

FOUR WORDS THAT WILL TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH PEOPLE

It is what it is.

That phrase is used a lot in my workplace.

It's one of those silly work sayings that means nothing until you're in work, and then it means everything. Just like:

• Let's touch base.
• Let's take that offline.
• We really need more of a helicopter view.
• Let's focus on the low hanging fruit.
• We can get back together once we've got all our ducks in a row.

But I like saying that it is what it is. It makes me feel better when making a decision that brings a down-side with it.

• Getting someone in to look at our oven costs a lot? It is what it is.
• Taking a Thursday off to help at Crafternoon leads to an extremely busy Friday? It is what it is.
• Grocery delivery ran out of bread? It is what it is.

But for Anna - my wife - the phrase is more than a touch ridiculous.

Of course it is what it is! What else would it be?!

But sometimes putting language around something can help to define it, and help us to understand it.

This is particularly important when it comes to relating to people. People are all unique, but using language to describe common features can be helpful in understanding why some people are so unique!

So allow me to categorise everyone in the whole world, using a model developed by Roger Reid and John Merrill.

Begin by thinking about whether you prefer to talk or listen, and whether you prefer to deal with people or facts.

• Talking + people: Expressive. You enjoy being centre of attention, laughing a lot, and team games. Pictures on slides are much more fun than words, and the only good thing about spreadsheets is making pretty graphs that tell a story. People may perceive you as being flippant.
• Talking + facts: Directive. The motto you give your people is ‘Be brief, be bright, be gone.’ You like to look at the big facts, tell people what you think, and expect them to act on it. You’re ambitious, and people can sometimes perceive you as being arrogant.
• Listening + people: Amiable. You don’t like being put under lots of pressure at work, but can be a dependable part of any team. You prefer stability over change. You’re the person who likes to get to know their colleagues at a personal level. Everyone who meets you thinks you’re nice…but perhaps the perception is that you’re not quite motivated enough.
• Listening + facts: Analytical. You’re a details guru. Your strength isn’t in thinking on your feet, but give you five minutes with a spreadsheet and you’ll pick flaws in anyone’s idea. Some people perceive you as being socially awkward.

Don't worry if you don't like being categorised like this, that's because you're Analytical. (Jokes.)

I find this model really helpful, but there's something I've found even more helpful when dealing with people.

Just be friendly.

I've discovered that the secret to getting on with anyone is just to be friendly - everyone likes that!

I'm sorry, but it is what it is.

And I have the perfect offer to make you, to allow you to be friendly.

Redeemer is about to open up registration for the new set of meetups. Sign up for one as soon as you can.

Don't miss out!

DISCOUNTED: HOW TO DEAL WITH THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME

I work in a large firm.

3,000ish staff.

I've been here for 21 years now, which regularly raises eyebrows. Is it lack of imagination or perhaps lack of ambition on my part? Neither, I just enjoy my work.

But I need to watch myself, make sure I'm not limiting my options.

I'm conscious that sometimes it's all too easy to look on at colleagues who've made a successful career move and discount myself from a similar move.

Is it just the risks involved with moving that have made me decide that it isn't for me?

(One of my former colleagues is now acting CEO here, another is 'vice-president' at a big bank.)

When opportunities come up at the office, I find myself wondering: Is it a career-limiting task that'll set me up for a fall? Or is it a chance to break out of a rut?

When I have a chance to move on, I ask myself: Is it just that the grass tends to look greener or is this the opportunity of a lifetime?

Sometimes the offer of change comes from a long respected colleague, and so the trust they show in my abilities (which far exceeds my own) is enough to prompt me to take the plunge.

---

I'm challenged by the decisions that the first disciples of Jesus took when faced with change.  He asked them to uproot from their established career choices and to trust him to lead them on a more worthwhile (but untested) path.

Here's what I imagine might have gone on in one of the young disciples' heads at this crossroads.

'His father must be WELL pleased.
What dad wouldn't be? He's learned a trade, been good to his mum, and remembered what his dad taught him: Treat everyone with respect. 
He's got a good 'ed on his shoulders, does Jesus. Always did. Caused him a little trouble in his younger days mind; other kids didn't know how to take him. But his good nature won out; he was well liked by those who got to know 'im. A solid bloke.
And now he's off on his new venture. It's good to take risks every now and then, get out yer comfort zone, cut off the old apron strings. 
He'll need some good people around him mind, guys he can trust. You know what I mean - solid, with the right attitude. I mean, stands to reason someone with 'is vision won't wanna take on any old Tom, Dick or 'arry. He's got his reputation to think of. 
I wish him well, losing his step dad early like that, guy deserves some better days.

'Ere he is now, "Nice to see yer, squire...
-
"Wassat you say? Who, me? No mate, you're 'aving a laugh.  I'm not your entrepreneurial type. Got family commitments, my dad's business. I know it's not much, but it's...
-
"Really? You sure? ...
- 
"Course I trust your judgement, it's just a little unexpected...
- 
"Well in that case, it'll be an 'onour, sir.  Lead the way.  
"By the way, can my bruvver come?" 

Ring any bells?

When you are faced with life changing decisions, how do you respond?

• Do you consider the benefits or the costs first? What wins out?

• Do you have someone you can trust to help you decide?

Try Jesus, his judgement can be trusted.

THE SIX BIGGEST THINGS I MISS ABOUT MY DAUGHTER

I wonder how many of us in Ealing are living here whilst family members are living miles away?

It can be a challenge not seeing our loved ones, despite technology helping us keep in touch.

This year my daughter is doing a gap year in Uganda -  over 4,000 miles away. She left England in October and will not be back until July - 9 months later! The longest she had ever been away until now was one week, so 9 months feels like a really long time!

She is volunteering for Smile International which has involved:

• teaching in a local school
• helping with their hospital ministry
• supporting families
• helping to run outreach events through the church they are partnering with.

I am so proud of what she is doing and how she is coping living away from home - not only shopping and cooking for herself and others, finding her way around and making new friends, but also washing her own clothes by hand!

She moaned about having to use the washing machine to wash her own stuff at home!

But even though I am proud of what she is doing I miss her loads...

I have particularly missed her at special family occasions such as Christmas, Mother's Day and my birthday but to be honest I just miss not having her around generally.

• I miss our chats in her room - often laying on her bed finding out how her day had been or telling her about mine
• I miss watching DVDs on her bed together – our favourite being The Musketeers, or a good chick flick
• I miss listening to her putting on different accents (Australian being the most cultivated one) whilst revising for exams - don't ask me why but we both used to be in stitches so it certainly livened up the revision!
• I miss her making me cups of tea – she had my exact requirements pretty mastered before she left
• I miss not being able to give her a hug and tell her I love her in person
• I miss her noise…the house is very quiet without her!

My daughter, Lois, is so full of life, energy and fun, loud and vivacious and underneath very caring, loyal and compassionate towards others.

Being a mum has been one of the best things I have had the privilege of doing. It can at times feel like a heavy investment - endless sleepless nights (both for babies and teenagers!), selfless serving, giving yourself emotionally, physically and financially, running around after them, praying for them, trying to negotiate with them, not to mention the endless washing, cooking and clearing up...but it is great to watch them as they leave home and take on responsibilities and challenges – to know that you have been a part of shaping who they have become and to realise that they are now investing in others around the world.

Are your family far away?

What do you miss about them?

I see the church as a family too – a place to belong, a place to share life with others, to make memories together, to show love and commitment, to encourage one another and be there for one another in life’s challenges.

Why not come along to Redeemer and see for yourself!

The Bible says:

God sets the lonely in families

Have you found a family in Ealing yet?

ONE THING TO TURN BUSYNESS INTO BREAKTHROUGH

2016 is an Olympics year.

I’m looking forward to watching the Rio games, being reminded of the joy of London 2012. And the whole of the UK will be thinking exactly the same thing:

If only this were the Winter Olympics.

In the winter, that well-loved sport of curling appears on the TV, and Britain proves to the world why it’s Great.

No other nation on earth can say, “Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry,” at that speed, with that level of sincerity.

And I think I know why.

The West generally, the UK in particular, and very specifically London, has become a world leader in hurrying.

Recent years have seen the introduction of the takeaway espresso cup. Under what circumstances are you in so much of a hurry that you don’t have time to drink an espresso before you’ve left the coffee shop?

The other day I saw a guy who was so intent on replying to an email on his BlackBerry as soon as possible, that he actually stopped drying his hands in the bathroom to do so.

When did life get so busy that we became unable to live it?

I have a suggestion: stick time in the calendar for reflection – to stop, think, and make sure all the stuff that’s filling your time is actually helping.

Here are the rules:

• Start realistic – give yourself one hour every six months. You’ll instantly realise it isn’t enough, but this is very achievable. ISN’T IT.
• Move it, don’t delete it – if something else comes up at the same time, don’t just delete it from your calendar, move it instead. And always move it sooner!
• Think about where your life is heading – where you’ll be in 1-6 months and 1-6 years.
• Think about what you’ve learned since the last reflection time – taking the time out to do this will teach you what you should have learned already!

And one final tip, if I may.

Redeemer recently finished a set of meetups – I met up with a group every Monday morning at 7am for nine weeks.

Another set of meetups will be starting soon – make sure you sign up when the window opens, so that you get the regular time to reflect with others on what’s important in life.

THE NEXT TIME YOU CATCH THE E2 BUS...DON'T LOOK DOWN

Swaying perilously above the surging waters of Niagara falls, Blondin carefully balanced himself on the thin highwire that stretched out in front of him. Deep down he knew his destiny was to conquer these mighty falls, & on 30 June 1859 he did just that.

Charles Blondin, Ealing’s most famous resident you’ve never heard of, lived 150 years ago and was a talented tightrope artist.

If you take the E2 bus from Ealing Broadway down through Northfields, you’ll will eventually turn right at the Plough Pub. On the opposite side of the road is Niagara House, next to Blondin Avenue and Niagara Avenue, connecting to Blondin Park.

Blondin, so called because of his striking bright blond hair, toured the world performing his death-defying feats, high above enthusiastic audiences. On the day that he first walked across Niagara Falls, 10,000 people showed up to watch. Wanting to capitalise on the gathered crowd, his manager Harry Concord announced that Blondin would do it again the following week, only this time with an extra stunt.

The next week the crowd was even bigger. He went across again but, this time, walked across with a potato sack over his head. The weeks and stunts continued with the crowd growing each week.

The next week he bicycled across.

Another time he did somersaults.

One week he even put a small stove inside a wheelbarrow, took it out to the middle & cooked himself an omelette!

But the stunts were running out.

Harry came up with an idea for the ultimate stunt. Blondin would carry a man across on his back…that meant that there would be two lives at stake, a real crowd puller. Everybody was excited and it was their biggest ever crowd. They say that 100,000 people turned out to watch this final stunt...but first, they had to find someone who was willing to do it.

Harry put an advert in the local paper and offered $1,000 to any man who was willing to be recruited to go across on Blondin’s back - a huge amount of money back then. Many people turned out for the trial, and they had to cut down the number to those that weren’t too big…but finally, they had a whole group.

On the day, Blondin took them to the brink and demonstrated that he could do it by walking out onto the rope carrying a heavy bag of potatoes. Then he came back and he went down the line and to every man he asked this question:

Do you believe without a doubt that I can carry you across?

And one by one they answered:

Absolutely, we complete believe you can do it. We have no doubts.

He then went down the line and asked...

Will you let me carry you across Niagara Falls on my back?

And one by one they answered:

Absolutely NOT!

Every one of them said no - no one would do it!

You see it’s one thing to intellectually believe in something…but it’s another thing altogether to actually step out and give over control.

Since there were now 100,000 spectators waiting for a show, Blondin turned to Harry, his manager, and said:

Harry it’s going to have to be YOU!

Harry was terrified, but he agreed.

Half way across that day, carrying Harry on his back, Blondin started to sway. Whenever they would sway, Harry would try to counter-balance by swaying back. Blondin yelled over the surging waters:

Harry, until we clear this place you must become part of me, mind body and soul…if I sway you must rest in me completely and sway with me. Do not attempt to do any balancing yourself. If you do, we shall both go down to our death.

Blondin was saying to Harry: If you try to save yourself, you will end up losing yourself. You have to rest in me & trust me completely.

And that’s what it means to be a Christian.

Jesus asks us to trust in him. To give ultimate control over to him.

Blondin could have dropped Harry that day and fallen…but Jesus cannot drop you.

If you want to stretch the metaphor out further...Jesus has already plunged into the depths so you will never have to.

Let Jesus carry you.

Are you willing to SWAY with Jesus, to trust him completely, and to follow his leanings for your life?

ONE FATHER'S THOUGHTS ABOUT A MOTHER ADAPTING TO A NEVER-CHANGING SON

I am the father of two adults, Amy (24) and Ethan (23). I still shout: 'Hi, kids', when I greet them. 

They don't seem to mind.

They are all grown up, working and making their own decisions about loving and living. Our relationship has changed over time, from me entertaining them, then training them, maintaining them and now relating to them as fellow adults.

It's been a challenge, but we've adapted.

And I'm still relying on my heavenly Father to show me how to best support them.

'Cos I'm still their dad.

I've been wondering what it might have been like for the parents of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Bringing up the Son of God as a child, as a teen and then watching him attain adulthood probably wasn't all plain sailing. How did they relate to him? We get a few glimpses in the gospels, but not many.

It's apparent that Joseph died before Jesus reached 30. Did Mary bring Jesus up on her own or did Joseph die much later, perhaps triggering the start of Jesus' travels? We don't know. We do know that Mary followed Jesus. We know she was part of the group who formed the early church, as were his brothers.

So I wonder what it was like for Mary to pray to the ascended Jesus after bringing him up - knee scrapes, adolescence and all.

How did she adapt from mother to worshipper? 

Here's how I imagine how an early prayer to Jesus from Mary might have sounded.

Mary's prayer to the ascended Jesus

O Lord, my Saviour, my spirit rejoices in you, for you...
- 
Oh, Jesus. This isn't as easy as I thought it would be. 
Oh, my son, my child, my beloved child - now my Saviour. 
My whole being worships you, and yet in my heart I still treasure those times when it was just you and me. 
Holding you close, hearing your first words, shepherding you as you took your first steps, watching over you... 
And now you watch over me. 
- 
Jesus, my heart still aches when I recall your body arched in pain, bleeding. Your cries still haunt me. It's hard to shake the image of your lifeless body
wrapped in cloth and lying - in a tomb. 
- 
Forgive me, dear son; I almost lost my mind with grief. I was blinded with my tears, and in my fear I didn't understand.  
- 
And then, when I saw you again, whole, restored...
Oh how I loved to see that smile again, to feel your arms around me once more, to hear your laughter, to draw in your warmth as we shared a meal.
Just like we used to. 
But you were taken again so soon. I know you had to go, but oh, how I missed you. 
-
But I'll tell your story - so many want to hear my story. The boys promise to write it down, but I'll still tell. It thrills me every time I tell it, for how can written words capture you, your love, your presence. 
- 
You spoke of a gift, you said that if we waited here in Jerusalem, we would be bathed in YOUR Holy Spirit. 
And now I see. 
I almost weep with joy when I hear young John and the rest of your friends
speaking in your name.
I recognise your voice, you see.  I recognise your heart, in their words. 
It's just like you're still here. 
Thank you for not leaving your old mum alone. 
I'll see you soon, my Jesus. 

How about you?

• What stage of life are your children at?
• Have they grown up and built their own lives?
• How has your relationship adapted?
• What heartaches and highs do you look back on? 
• And how about your parents - how well has your relationship with them adapted along the way?

The wonderful thing about worshipping Jesus, son of man and Son of God, is that he can relate.

Whatever stage your life is at, you can ask him to support and guide you. His Spirit is still available to those who seek Him.

HOW A THANKS FOR YESTERDAY OPENS UP DOORS FOR TOMORROW

Have you ever received an unexpected "thank you" from a person you helped a long time ago?

They had thanked you for your assistance at the time, and you'd moved on, but they felt moved many years later to send you another message of thanks.

On 26 February there was a full page advert in the Financial Times placed by the Kuwaiti embassy in London.

Thank you, United Kingdom.  On the 25th anniversary of the liberation of our country, we the people of Kuwait would like to thank the United Kingdom for its support and courage.

This message of thanks was for the part that the UK played in liberating Kuwait from Iraq in 1991. Although most people in the UK do not have that date in their memories, the significance of the event was so strong for the Kuwaitis that they felt it necessary to send a message to the UK, expressing their gratitude.

The advert in the newspaper prompted me to consider two things:

1. Whom should I send a message of thanks to for their contribution to my life?

I remember getting assistance from my church leader (who was also a teacher) when I was an A-level student. I had chosen my three A-level subjects, and a few weeks into the term he asked me what they were.

When I told him, he advised me to consider making some changes to them, to be better aligned with what I wanted to study at university.

I heeded the advice.

In retrospect, that advice was critical in helping me to get on the course that I did at university, and the career that I went into in the years afterwards. Although I was grateful for his assistance at the time, I think I owe him another message of thanks.

2. What am I doing now for which someone may send me an unexpected message of thanks in the future?

If I'm to get any unexpected messages of thanks in the future, I have to be prepared to take an interest in the welfare of others now, and be prepared to voluntarily give/share my resources to help people, with no guarantee of a return.

This is not something that most people will do easily - we already have so much in our lives to be concerned about, and it can feel like our resources barely meet our existing desires.

If we're waiting for everything in our lives to be in place and every desire met, we will never have the capacity to contribute to the lives of others.

I therefore rephrased this question to:

What am I doing now, in spite of my current situation, for which someone may send me an unexpected message of thanks in the future?

If you are honest with yourself, what would be your answer to this question?

Just as the UK government (and other governments) were concerned enough to give up scarce and valuable national resources to help secure the liberation of Kuwait in 1991, so also God gave up his only Son, Jesus, to come to the world and secure the liberation of mankind.

This generous act by God has paid off handsomely, because over 2,000 years later, millions of people all over the world remember the goodness of God every day, and express their thanks to Him in prayer and songs. Some do it as a group, in churches and other gatherings, while others do it as individuals or as families.

Has God been good to you?

Have you been blessed by someone in your past? Why not tell God how grateful you are, and send that special person an unexpected note of thanks.

You may also want to find an opportunity to be a blessing to someone. Who knows, you may get an unexpected message of thanks in the years to come.

And perhaps you might honestly say that you know more about Kuwait than you do about God's act of love 2,000 years ago. If that's you, I'd love to invite you to hear more about it over a meal, and ask your questions. Please email info@redeemerlondon.org to find our more.

MY MATERNITY LEAVE CHALLENGE...AND YOUR OPPORTUNITY

Since being on maternity leave I have loved hanging out with my two boys.

I feel incredibly blessed to be a mummy, and thank God every day for the two little dudes he blessed me with.

But after six months I was getting itchy feet to do something other than:

• changing nappies
• sterilising bottles
• washing clothes
• cleaning the house
• dressing boys
• (followed by undressing boys when one is sick all over himself and the other one hasn't made it to the bathroom in time)

As much as I love doing all of these things, I felt like I needed an extra challenge to add to my week!

Redeemer's just finished running its first term of meetups.

I had the pleasure of hosting a parent and toddler meetup at my home. I invited parents from Redeemer, as well as other local mums that I've met over the last few years.

Despite being a reception teacher at a local primary school, for some crazy reason I felt the need to turn my own home into a classroom for 9 weeks!

My flat was full of baby equipment and all sorts of toys. It felt like mayhem, but the kids had a blast.

It turns out toy trains, cars and the play kitchen were the most popular toys!

We sang songs together, and snack time was loved by all (adults and kids).

Mums enjoyed connecting with one another, sharing stories and advice about the latest milestone their children were going through.

It was a great experience I felt privileged to be a part of, and I met some cheeky adorable kids and some incredible new mum friends throughout.

I had 49 kids and parents through my door over the 9 weeks!

When our final session came to an end earlier this week, one thought came to mind:

Why should this end?

The answer is - it shouldn't!

I am heading back to work next month, and will be surrounded by many other kids that will keep me busy...but the opportunity is there for someone else to host next term!

As I summarised my ramblings of my last blog in 5 easy steps I thought I would do the same:

1. Take on new challenges
   The tots group is just my example of taking a risk in leading something new. You could lead a meetup in the future!
2. Use your skills to connect with others
   I've discovered I'm actually good at being with kids! It's probably because I am a big kid at heart (and so is my husband, he keeps me young). Think about what your skills are - how can this help you connect with people locally and build friendships?
3. Try not to focus on WOE IS ME
   Don't feel sorry for yourself if you feel that you don't have any friends and haven't been invited to things. That was their loss not having you there. Instead, make the first move and...
4. Invite people to an event
   It doesn't have to be in your own home. It doesn't have to be run by you. Everyone loves being invited to something. From experience, not everyone will turn up - so be brave, and invite twice the amount you were planning on.
5. Love being local! (That's my blog copyright if you'd not noticed)
   Enjoy your surroundings, the people around you and what Ealing has to offer.

MANAGERS MIGHT MOVE MOLEHILL-MOUNTAINS BY AN M-WORD

Have you ever met a problem that wasn't really a problem, then that became a problem?

Maybe that wasn't clear enough. I'll try again.

Sometimes in life, or marriage, or work, you come across a 'problem'. It's not really a PROBLEM, but now that you've noticed the 'problem', it's definitely a problem. So you stop doing everything else to look at the 'problem'. And now that's the PROBLEM. The original 'problem' is still a problem, but it was never a PROBLEM until you identified it as a problem! (Breathe.)

Or let's use an analogy, for no other reason than to use the word 'problem' less.

A train is charging across Europe at 150mph. For some unknown reason, someone has built a brick wall across the track - concrete, steel reinforcements, the whole shebang. And the train ploughs straight into it.

Shebang!

The train is slowed, ever-so-slightly. And there are some scratches. But no-one was hurt, the wall is no more, and the train is continuing towards its destination.

The wall was real, but the train's momentum carried it straight through.

Imagine the train was stationary by the time it reached the wall - there's no way it would have even started moving because of the wall - in fact, if the wall were removed but a single brick had been left in the way, the train would struggle to set off.

We all encounter problems in life. Some are our own fault, some are forced upon us by others, and some are just bad circumstances.

And we have a choice to make: will we plough through them at 150mph, or will we slow down, stop, and turn the 'problem' into a PROBLEM?

John Maxwell, the well-known leadership coach, said:

Managers try to solve problems; leaders try to create momentum.

When you have enough momentum, even the largest problems seem inconsequential - the real question is how to create momentum.

Let me give two ideas:

1. Constantly think about where you might get to. The train is focussed on only one thing: reaching its destination. What would happen in your marriage if all you ever dreamed about was your spouse's happiness? Let me tell you, they'd get happier, because like it or not you'd start to act on that thought!
2. Just keep moving. We tend to think that action is caused by momentum, but logically this simply isn't right! Start acting on top of the dreaming; the results - the momentum - will develop, and the problems will pale in comparison.

Of course, the best way to learn is to get experience.

Redeemer is constantly on the lookout for people who are Dreamers and Doers. Might that be you?

Get in touch by emailing serving@redeemerlondon.org to find out more.

WHAT TO DO WHEN FACING TOUGH FAMILY GATHERINGS

Family matters.

Most mothers and sons have a singular relationship. Some mothers dote on their son, considering him near-perfect...much to the chagrin of his sisters.

And when her husband passes away, the relationship can change, perhaps by her becoming more dependent on the son's support. It's then that it's important for roles to be clarified, and boundaries redefined.

My father, a larger than life character, died after a short illness shortly into his retirement years. I'm an only son with three sisters, and now my mother will often call me by my father's name. We laugh about it, but we both know that she still feels his absence even 16 years since he died.

I still miss him too.

Jesus' father, Joseph, doesn't get a mention in the Bible after the account of Jesus at the temple aged 12. Most assume that Joseph died at some point between then and Jesus' 30th year.

However, his mum was still around.

Mary was aware that events would one day cause her deep pain, like a sword piercing her heart, as promised when he was still a babe in arms. This didn't deter her, she stuck with him, appearing in the Bible's accounts among his followers.

We read that when he had grown up, Mary and Jesus both went to a wedding in Cana, in Galilee.

Events such as this typically lasted several days.

The bridegroom was responsible for feeding the guests, and providing wine for the duration of this community celebration. To fail to do so was shameful and might even prompt the bride's father to sue!

On this occasion the wine ran out before festivities had concluded.

You can read the account in John 2. John records the action as taking place 'on the third day'.  Here's how I imagine it:

---

On the Third Day

There was a wedding in Cana
and Mary nudged her son: 
'The wine has finished
This - is - not - good.' 
And Jesus said, 'Mum. Not now'. 
- 
And Mary said
'Listen to your mother.' 
And Jesus sighed. 
- 
And Mary told the servants, 
'Do whatever he tells you.' 
- 
Then Jesus saw that it was no use to argue. 
And he said, 'let there be water'. 
And they rolled across the stone jars in front of him. 
- 
And Jesus said, 'let there be wine'. 
And it was so - very - good. 
- 
And Mary smiled to herself
thought how much Joseph would have laughed to see this
and whispered to Jesus: 
'This just the start you know.' 
And he did,
and it was. 
- 
And there was a Mother's faith
and there were gallons of glorious wine. 
And Mary kept on smiling, so proud of her son
and of this start of his new-vintage Kingdom
with the original third day, rolled-stone, miracle. 
- 
And there was a great party, 
and loud singing
with much laughter, 
and the Son danced
with his mother through the night. 
- 
There was evening and there was morning, 
a fine Third Day. 

---

Have you experienced the loss of close family?

Do you find it harder at family gatherings?

I've found the secret of adapting and adjusting is keeping Jesus close, trusting him because he is the one person who will always be with you.

And he can work miracles in the face of everyday challenges.

Also, make the most of the family you have with you; honour those who are no longer with us by celebrating the life we have.

HOW CHANGING ONE THING UNLOCKS LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES

I experienced something frustrating at work recently.

I had asked someone to finish some work for me by Friday. Friday came and went, and no work was forthcoming.

The next week, he promised it to me by the next Friday. I tried to call him that Friday to make sure that was still going to happen, but he’d gone on holiday!

I was now being chased heavily by my boss, so the week after I made it clear the work really needed doing…and he said he couldn’t do it because he was now busy with other things.

This guy was fast becoming an expert in making problems for me.

And I realised that a few years ago, I’d been exactly the same.

I learned a tough lesson when I first started being given responsibility:

People don’t want to work with you if you create more problems than solutions.

So in my story earlier on, the problem wasn’t just that the work was overrunning, it was the broken promises and then simply saying: ‘It can’t be done.’

Instead...

• He could have said at the outset that he didn’t have the time.
• He could have suggested someone else to do the work in his place.
• He could have explained that other work would stop him from finishing, and introduced me to his other bosses.

Each of us will encounter situations where others’ expectations of us are unrealistic.

The key to turning those false expectations into realistic opportunities is to:

1. Explain why there’s a problem, and what it is.
2. Suggest a solution that they’re free to challenge.
3. Make a promise that you know you can keep (and probably beat).

Doing this does three clear things:

1. It proves that you understand that person’s needs, and how important it is to meet them well.
2. It gives you control where before you had none.
3. It allows you to now exceed expectations by over-delivering against your own promise. Where before you were guaranteed to lose, you’re now guaranteed to win!

So how about we resolve today to turn from Problems People into Solutions People?

And allow me to give you an instant opportunity to practice!

It’s easy to spot problems in something like our Sunday morning meetings – and we have a constant desire to improve them.

Why not suggest a solution to a problem you can see, take ownership for it, and get some experience leading?

See you on Sunday!

I PICKED UP THE PHONE TO MY WIFE. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT CHANGED MY ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE FOREVER.

Some things happen so regularly and so easily that you take them for granted, until...

My wife phoned and asked if I could pick her up from work as she had so much paperwork to bring home one evening (the troubled life of a primary school teacher).

Of course I leaped into the car, and was on autopilot as I headed up the road, looking forward to seeing Nicky after a day apart.

But after pausing at the road junction to check for traffic, the car gears wouldn't engage.

D’oh! 

Despite turning the car off and restarting (works with the computer) the fault was not fixed. The looks from other motorists I was holding up didn't help :(

I had to phone a friend.

My 16 year old son.

He came and rescued me, helping me to push the car into a space beside the road…it was going nowhere.

As I write the story has not ended.

Yesterday I paid for a guy to collect the vehicle. The last time I saw it, it was being taken away on the back of a truck to a local garage.

I'm still waiting for the mechanic to phone with the news of what is wrong, and what it will cost. I'm preparing for the worst - a new clutch!

I've always been grateful for the bus service in Ealing.

I'm also grateful that Tesco delivers.

I'm grateful that I get to work from home.

I've just remembered the car belongs to my wife - so it is no longer my worry.

What do you do each day without thinking?

What might you be grateful for, even when things are going wrong?

THE JOY OF DISCOVERING COMMUNITY

Hamish is old and grey now.

He's hard of hearing and his eyesight is fading.

His old joints make it hard to negotiate the stairs sometimes.

And he needs to be careful about what he eats.

But he still enjoys a stroll down the park.

He has plenty of friends to catch up with. He's quite happy - although he finds that most evenings are spent dozing on the sofa with the TV on in the background.

He's 14 now, not the young border terrier pup we remember.

We find that he's happier when he gets a walk first thing in the morning.

This means me getting up earlier than I would plan and braving the morning chill.

It also means new acquaintances for me.

Having a beast on the end of a lead means that I am accepted into a discrete community. It's a cross cultural community, not gender-biased, and people of all ages join.

The dog walkers.

And it doesn't matter what mood I'm in when I leave the house; by the time I get home I'm buoyed by the interaction and cheery greetings of those I meet.

(There's even another border terrier named Hamish who frequents the same park; a younger version.)

There's another community that I meet with regularly, and when I meet them I not only have my spirits raised by their company, I experience the pleasure of being part of a wide family who know me and accept me warts and all. Better than that, we meet with our Father in heaven too.

Redeemer London.

If you've found yourself looking for community, why not come along on a Sunday morning to Ealing town hall. The kettle will be on from 10 o'clock.

We're drawn from many nations, not gender-biased, and all ages are represented.

You'll be most welcome.

(And for those like Hamish whose joints aren't what they used to be, there's easy access too.)