2020 Creative Vision

We've been thinking aloud about harnessing the creativity at Redeemer in 2020 and wondered if you'd like to get involved?

Why?

Jesus said: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matt 6:33

So what does 'seeking first God's kingdom' look like for those with creative gifting? Is the answer for this season different from a previous season? What does a step of faith look like for you given your gifts, your talents and the company you find yourself in?

We can help each other answer these questions.

Who?

'Creative' can be a difficult word to claim.  It can feel presumptuous.  But take an honest look at yourself - do you have a mind that creates? Do you imagine change? Do you take pleasure in making difference?

This creativity can come in different shapes and sounds. Whatever form it takes - we'd love you to come and join the conversation. 

(If you don't regard yourself as creative, nudge someone who is.)

How?

We will hold 2 Sunday workshops on 16 & 23 February in the Savoy Suite at UWL, 1pm to 2pm.

The aim of these workshops is not to create content, but to engage with as many as possible and explore ideas of what a kingdom approach to using our creativity looks like.

The workshops will overlap in content and folk do not have to commit to both, rather the idea of having 2 is to give more people the chance to participate.  However given a different mix of people these workshops will be distinct and you might like to attend both.

All ages welcome.

Curious?

If this is getting you curious, please come along.  If you have questions email stevejeff62@gmail.com .

Nativity Scene - A poem by Steve Page

Sunday night saw our very first Christmas concert at Redeemer, and our resident poet Steve Page was on hand to shed some light on his experience of Christmas over the years, and reveal some truth about the very first Christmas to those in attendance. Below is just one of the many brilliant poems he shared with us, and it can be found in his new Christmas anthology, which our host on the night described (correctly) as a perfect stocking filler! If you want to buy it you’ll find a link to at the bottom of the page.

---

Nativity Scene

Stubborn love
faced down the years
of fearful hate
and stared intently as a child
from the stink of a manger
out into the poverty and
the oppression reflected
in captive eyes,
wide with hope
and wet with joy.

Generous love
cried out an almighty peace
into the dark stillness,
heralding a new start
with echoes of ancient promise.

Patient love
reached out with perfect timing
and embraced humanity.

Unfailing love.
Unfailing still.

No app for that...

Some things take a little more time...

There's no app for job satisfaction.
No app for deeper self-realisation.
No app for joy and love of life.
No app to avoid struggle or strife.

No app for meaningful inter-relation,
for self-esteem or bond formation
These each take time, with patient dedication, 
a repeated test of your true determination.
These take quiet contemplation
and longer considered conversation.
A real-time flesh interaction,
with authentic, humble co-operation.
I'm meaning a dangerously high contagion
with the risk of personal dissatisfaction. 
These take sustained concentration,
a firm hand on the neck of your current situation.
These take more than a one day binge; 
you'll need to commit to more than a fling.
More than a lazy swipe to your right,
more than a stand for just one night.
These take guts and sweat and tears,
you might even find that some take years.

But this is life beyond the screen, this is how it's always been.

So lift your head and take a breath,
we'll stand right here and lend our strength. 
All I can promise are tears and laughter
and friends who'll stand closer thereafter.

If you want to take some time away from the screen, come along on a Sunday morning to Redeemer at Ealing Town Hall.  You can keep your phone on if you'd like. 

START WITH THE FEET

And when you serve,
Start with the feet

And when you serve,
Get down low
With a towel and water bowl

And when you serve,
Find your honour not over
But under
Not higher
But lower
Not first
But last.

So when you serve,
Don't wait your turn
But push your way
To the back.
Where you'll find
Nothing to prove
Nothing to hide
And nothing to loose
But your pride.

Yes, you heard,
When you serve
Observe his example:
Undo a sandal
And start with the feet.

John 13:1-17
Matthew 20:25

KEEP SNIFFING

Keep sniffing

And when you pray
Ask
And when you pray
Seek
And when you pray
Knock til He hears
And keep sniffing around
Through your tears
To find the doors
That He has prepared
To brand new frontiers
For His pioneers.

Matthew 7:7-8

Do whatever it takes

Earlier this year I was listening to the series of Sunday messages on how to bless those around us.

What struck me was the unambiguity of the Gospel.

Jesus showed us by example. He blessed others with his words, his presence at a meal, by healing and meeting people's needs. He sent his disciples out (see Matthew 10) to bless. If the households they met weren't receptive they were to move on. They were to focus on blessing others.

There's an urgency to this.

Go, and Bless.

---

Spit

Go empty handed and be fruitful
Lay on hands and be liberal
When you pour your oil,
Spit in the soil if you have to
Whatever it takes to
Bring healing and restoration
To those who have a notion
To listen to you whom I have chosen
To bring good news to the nations.
And to each family which shows willing
Give greetings
With a voice ringing true and bringing
Peace and blessings
To all who reside in each dwelling
For you are a herald of the most high King
Sent to ensure His shalom and kingdom
Hits home before you move on.
Go empty handed and be fruitful
Lay on hands and be liberal
When you pour your oil
Spit in the soil if you have to
Whatever it takes...

HOW TO GET HAPPY WHEN LIFE IS GETTING YOU DOWN

While at Newday, a group of teenagers were invited to take part in the shooting of a video, Joy has a name. Newday gives a safe and fun environment for over 5,000 teenagers to worship and learn more about Jesus, God's Son.

Part of the thread of the 2016 festival was the connection between the fruit of the Spirit and the person of Jesus.

It strikes me that often when we are encouraged to 'take joy' from happy circumstances, this suggests that joy is something to be grasped while it's available.

"I took great joy in seeing my grandchild smiling up at me."

"I took joy in being able to bask in such a beautiful sunset."

But it turns out that part of the fruit of the Spirit of Jesus is Joy: It's not taken by us, it's given by Jesus.

Joy - like fruit - grows and develops by virtue of the life flowing through the tree that bears it; in this case, the tree is Jesus.

Being a follower of Jesus, having his Spirit within us, gives the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Like fruit, these take time to grow and develop, however they are not dependent on our circumstances, but on our connection to Jesus.

---

Joy has a name

Joy has a name
Whispered in awe,
Shouted in triumph and
Partied abroad.

Joy out-runs
Mourning and tears,
Drowns out hatred and
Drives out fears.

Joy brings peace
And laughter soon after,
Joy gives release and
Heals much faster.

Joy has a name
Above all others
His name is Jesus
Joy of many colours.

If this seems like something out of your grasp, please come and find out more at Redeemer. You can find us on any Sunday morning at 10 am at Ealing Town Hall.

WHAT TO DO WHEN NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW YOU'RE FEELING: INSEEP STILLENT TREMBLE-WRAP, BUMPBRUSH AND RESTILAX

Have you ever felt totally alone?

It's as if no-one is speaking your language.

As much as you try to express how you are feeling, and your friends nod obligingly, you feel like you're missing the mark; no one understands.

It can sometimes feel as if even God is not on your side. 

Psalm 88 expresses the feeling of abandonment well:

But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?

But soon, often through the healing prayers and conversation of those who've walked the same road themselves, comes healing and we can echo Psalm 147:

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

In this poem I've tried to put some of this into words:

(Those of you for whom English is your second language, don't panic; I've made up a lot of these words to emphasise just how difficult it is to express our feelings and how baffling we can appear to those around us.  But God understands.)

His stillent, smally whispers ooze into my mindconscious
like a dusk-sweet hotchoc, 
like a mocha sunrise welcoming wide
with embracements louder than fearage, 
not instructioning, but come in mending,
pushing enlightenmentations, praisements and incouragabilities
that I inseep onto my naked black and bruises.  
I tremble-wrap his echo within my born-worn soul
but he stainleaks through my weak cardio
when I bumpbrush against heartbeatings as fraggi-brittle as mine.
His hushed shade cools and breaths an enveloping: 
           "I understand." 
And so I restilax in his softly stronging arms.

Sometimes we know we're not making any sense; we just need someone to understand. I have a God for that.

If you identify with any of this, please know that you have a God who knows you and understands you to your core.  I encourage you to read the Psalms where you'll find those who have walked your path or something like it. And I encourage you to find friends who can walk with you. 

You will find fellow travellers at Redeemer, a community of Christians who value honest living and who worship a God who knows us.  You'll be most welcome.

I'M A BIG BOY NOW, AND I STILL CRY. HERE'S WHY...

"Don't cry. You're a big boy now."

Growing up in the 60s and 70s I can clearly recall the admonishment to wipe away my tears and 'be a big boy'. 

OK, so I was a teary child. 

My school reports from junior school note that I was a 'sensitive child'.  When emotions ran high, tears would flow.  My eyes are still likely to well up in response to a song or a TV drama.  I also find that my eyes water in worship and in prayer. 

I used to be embarrassed by this readiness to cry (it wasn't appropriate when I was a police constable!),  but now in my 50s, I worry less about what others may think and focus more on what my emotional response is telling me. 

It may simply indicate that I'm emotionally or physically over-stretched and that I need some down time.  It might be an appropriate empathetic reaction to the story of a fellow human being.  It can be a response to the compassion shown by a friend.

Or it may be the wholly appropriate reflex when I'm overwhelmed by God's presence.

Tears are good. They are a communicator, they are an indicator, a release. 

There's a physiological reason why we feel better after 'a good cry'.  Tears release stress and kill pain.  They are also natural eye drops and they contain antibacterials.

(Excess tears can also flood the drainage ducts that lead into the nasal passage, hence the runny nose when you're crying.)

I now embrace that emotional side of me and I value those I meet who feel the same, especially if they are grown men.  Jesus wasn't afraid to weep in public (see Luke 19:41 and John 11:35) and neither should we be.

This poem is to all you grown men out there who aren't afraid to weep.

Love you, mate.
Love your contagious tears
As they breach your ducts,
And gloss your cheeks,
Running free and reaching down
Past the lump in your throat
to your vulnerable heart.

Love you, mate.
Love your resistance to temptation
To back hand compassion,
Instead emoting with no hesitation,
Never embarrassed
To tell the world
That no-one's too big to weep.

If you are quick to tears, don't be embarrassed.   It's just part of being human. 

And you'll find that your tears are not out of place at Redeemer on a Sunday morning at Ealing town hall.  Feel free to join us from 10:30am.

A POEM FOR CHRISTMAS

Christmas can be a time
When families get together:
Young children scream, wine glasses gleam,
Both ready for M&S dinner.

TV's in the corner
Rerunning Home Alone,
Heart Radio's in the kitchen,
Chris Rea's driving home, 
Again.

Toddlers find the wrapping
More engaging than the Duplo
Teen couples find the company
Less of interest than their own.

The dog's confused and excited
With so many different sources
Of scratches and pats, he can't relax,
His whining is remorseless.

Christmas can be a time
When families are missed,
The parcel made last post
Winging off to little sis.

Skype will come in handy
To laugh across the miles,
The screen will mask the tears
And focus on the smiles.

Gran will talk of Christmas past
When everyone was home
'Cept in Gulf War 1 when Uncle John
Went away, ....

Christmas can be a time
When budgets get stretched tight,
Cash pressures get to breaking point
And prompt senseless fights.

Some focus on opportunity
To spend some gilt-free money,
The only prayers are for extra hours
And a faster Tesco trolley.

For others it's simply 'Yuletide'
An excessive celebration,
A winter feast, all you can eat,
Give in to all temptation.

Most focus on the family,
Even more on the gifts;
There's little time for Jesus
Assigned amongst the myths.

Some do remember Jesus
From half-forgotten carols,
They know there's something more
Than donkeys and angel heralds.

For there He is in the middle,
Noticed once in a while;
It's His birthday, but all He's getting
Is a half-hearted song and a smile.

He's no longer a babe in a manger,
He's now a resurrected King,
Waiting for those who would worship
To stand and welcome Him in.

Whatever your experience of Christmas
You can come just as you are,
His love is unconditional
He'll accept you warts and all.

So come on!
It’s a season to celebrate!
To dance, to sing and to shout!
Your Saviour invites you to join Him,
So when you sing this Christmas,
BELT it out.

TURN ADVENT UPSIDE-DOWN, SHE SAID...

This year in the run up to Christmas I was struck by an idea floating on the web.

A reverse advent calendar.

Instead of (or as well as) opening an advent calendar door each morning for a piece of chocolate to munch with your cereal flakes of choice, create a collection for someone struggling to make ends meet this Christmas.

Here's how it works.

Each day in the run up to Christmas, put aside a staple food item, or something a little more festive. And just before Christmas, hand it to a local foodbank or a charity supporting the homeless, to be passed on to someone who may not be looking forward to the same happy Christmas time that you are.

Find out ideas for the best items to include and your local foodbank at the Trussell Trust website.

If you're in Ealing, why not head straight to the Ealing Foodbank Redeemer helped to set up.

Spread some joy this Christmas.

---

Reverse Advent

This year, although I know
That you're keen
To set up that nativity scene, 
I'm advocating an alternative means, 
A change in priorities
For your generosity.

I'm anointing a reversal, 
Suggesting you parcel
A hamper of staples
And so turn the tables
On advent doors
That ignore the poor. 

I'm asking that you choose
To proclaim the good news
Beyond the pews, 
To pursue a change of people's views
Of what they thought they knew
This meant.
Yes, let's reverse this advent
And make something heaven-sent. 

Have a great Advent.

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR CV AND MAKE FRIENDS DOING IT

This Sunday just gone, Pete stirred us about how we can fight the negative temptations around power can be used in humility to serve.

My employer is quite progressive in its people policies.

Our director of HR is listed in HR magazines most influential practitioners.

One policy I particularly like is the offer of paid leave each year to work in the community, to give something back.

This year found my team clearing the undergrowth at St Mary's Church, Leyton. We came out dirty, sore and smiling. 

The philosophy behind the policy is that:

• communities are served well, meaning my organisation is using its power ethically
• teams can learn about each other in new situations, so their experience is good for team building and morale
• individuals can develop new skills and confidence by stepping outside their typical working day

Colleagues of mine coach school children on numeracy, English, CV writing, etc. and in doing so they broaden their abilities.

For me, whether it's been serving on the PTA , on a local children's music club committee (I recommend Questors Young Musicians Club), visiting an old people's home, leading the Redeemer setup team or serving on the Redeemer welcome team, over the years I've found opportunities outside my daily routine to stretch new muscles, make new friends, and in so doing both I and others have benefited.

Jesus came to serve, he said. We can follow his example.

So for your own good and for the good of others, I recommend that you find some way of serving. You may get your hands dirty, but you'll also have more able hands as a result.

Serving develops new skills.
Serving helps make friends.
Serving builds self-confidence.
Serving keeps us humble.
Serving strengthens ties to our community.
Serving builds character.
Serving follows the example of Christ.

If you'd like to serve on a team at Redeemer, you'll be most welcome (just email), but that's not what this blog is about.

Find a place to serve.

You'll be the better for it. 

#ND16

Last month I spent a week at Newday festival in Norfolk. We were under canvas with around 1,000 other adults creating a safe place for over 5,000 12-18 year olds from churches across the UK (and a couple from the Netherlands).

A space to worship, pray and celebrate, and to learn about a God who is alive and fully relevant to their lives.

I found it a great privilege to be there. It was hot and sunny, and windy, and the positive attitude of everyone I met spoke volumes of their faith and passion for Jesus.

I wrote this while lazing under a tree thinking through what I had seen.

#ND16

This is what you came for...
Queues for showers
while you chat.
Hedgehogs and balloons
both going splat.
High-flying paint
on winds of change.
Great food smells
and others more strange.
Volley ball pitches
expanding as needed.
Praying for others,
strongholds defeated.
Songwriting and painting
on paper and faces.
Dodgems and climbing,
voices and praises.
This what you came for -
A Newday Generation.

If you have children that qualify by age, or if you have a week that you can give to helping make Newday happen, I recommend it.

100%.

Please ask for more information at Redeemer on any Sunday at Ealing Town Hall 10 am.

HOW DYLAN THOMAS RESISTING TINKERING REVEALS MY NEED FOR CONTENTMENT

I read this in a prologue to Dylan Thomas' collection of poems. This contains all the poems he wished to preserve around a year before his death:

"Some of them I have revised a little, but if I went on revising everything that I now do not like in this book I should be so busy that I would have no time to try to write new poems."

Dylan Thomas wrote some of the most moving and mesmerising poetry and prose - and he would have tinkered with them had he allowed himself to focus away from new ideas.

I take 2 lessons away from that.

Lesson 1

You may never be fully content with what you have created, be it a song, a piece of art, an essay, a photograph. But that doesn't mean others will not consider it beautiful and place great value it. 

Lesson 2

You may never be fully content with who you are. 
But that does not mean you are not beautiful to those around you, 
That does not mean that you do not have purpose. 
That does not mean you have not brought hope and joy to others.

Whilst it is true that God does not leave you in draft form and you will always be on your way to perfection, it is also true that you are most excellent.  
He has created someone wonderful in you. You are fit for the purpose he has for you right now.

So don't spend so much of your time adding finishing touches that you fail to celebrate what you have created and what our Creator has crafted in and through you.

You are splendid. Celebrate that.

A poem inspired by warm homes

I really value the warmth of the homes that welcomed me in as a teenager. The families that made a conscious effort to open their homes and their families to friends of their children. I learned a lot from them about priorities and the importance of nurturing an instinct for inclusion. I still value invites to share everyday stuff with friends.

This poem is written in acknowledgement of the families who extended their homes to me and my friends. Thank you.

---

Home from Home

Step over the threshold
And through the front hall
Full of shoes and possibilities.
Come to a kitchen table
Where you are able
To shed the cold and to unroll your soul
Against its worn and warm knots, 
Flavoured with cookies and coffee mugs
And echoes of late chats and early plans
And sneak-behind hugs.
Let the love that pools here
Soak into your marrow
Put aside tomorrow
And so launder your heart clean of fear.
Our home is your home,
Come pull up your chair.

---

Here's a challenge for you.

This week, find an opportunity to offer a welcoming inclusion to someone outside your family. It may be an invite to a family meal, a trip to the cinema, or even a trip to IKEA (other furniture stores are also available).

Be a model of inclusion.

Here's an invitation to you.

Come along to Ealing Town Hall at 10am this Sunday morning, where you'll find a welcome from the family at Redeemer.

SPIDER-MAN AND YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT THING IN COMMON

I'm a Marvel comic book fan, have been since my junior school years. I was born the same year as the Amazing Spider-Man, 1962. I know his origin story as well as I know my own life story.  Steve Ditko and Stan Lee created a memorable character.

I love how every Marvel character has a distinct origin story and clear character traits that are consistently threaded through the story lines of the past 50 years.

Spider-Man, Peter Parker, is an orphan and unlucky in love; he's a geek, but really smart and he's usually struggling financially. He learned to his cost that with great power comes great responsibility, but little personal security.

The Incredible Hulk, Bruce Banner, is a mild-mannered scientist with an angry alter ego. Consistently misunderstood and hounded by the authorities, there's no situation that can't be improved with a double handed smash.

Marvel writers typically keep their stories consistent with the continuity established in earlier publications. But sometimes a bold writer might depart from Marvel lore, changing the character or altering their circumstances. Some fans would react favorably, some would send hate mail. (Fans have a lot invested in their childhood heroes.)

As an adult now I have a few years of adventures behind me; some I'm proud of, some I'm not.  I'm grateful that the good news of Jesus Christ is that he does not tie his followers to their earlier story lines, trying to maintain consistent continuity. He uses that foundation to build something new. A new start, a new heart and healing of the past.

Christ does not limit you based on your past. Irrespective of your socio-economic standing, your gender, your education, your race, your scars - Christ brings new life. Irrespective of past mistakes, Jesus brings hope.

---

Broken Continuity.

Skin deep scars were easy to shoulder,
while the deeper ones each hardened my heart. 
Life-long wounds still wept and smouldered, 
carving permanent paths.
Hidden cuts wouldn't stop itching, 
and beneath my smile shadows kept screaming.
Treacherous memories would sting
and bite right through my once thick skin
then slowly burrow, refusing to die,
spreading their cursed lies ...

The scars are mine, the wounds are real, 
the memories follow me, still
I was the haunted boy, the wild child. 
I was the son, loved, beaten and reviled.  
I was the dreamer. I was the drama. 
I was the fiction that made me me...... 
--
That was then, but now see,
I have a new writing team,
a change in narrative, a brand new me,
a departure from past continuity.
Now I have a team-up. 
Now I have back-up. 
And in this story arc,
I get a power-up:
one new ability,
His power to HEAL ME!

---

Life's not a comic book, it's much more exciting than that.

If you would like to know more about how Jesus changes lives, why not come along to Redeemer this Sunday. You won't find any superheroes, but you will find people enjoying renewed lives. 

MANIFESTO FOR AN INTERNATIONAL CHURCH

Ealing is home to people from over 170 nations, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to see around 30 nationalities meeting God together, every Sunday morning at Ealing town hall.

I cannot but be impressed by the unifying effect of God's spirit.

I believe in one international church. 
I believe in an inter-racial and unbiased church of many nations. 
I believe in one church of many traditions. 
I believe in one church not hemmed in by history or by man-made borders. 
I believe in a God for whom his pallet of skin colours reflects his love of diversity. 
I believe in God-given racial differences. 
I believe in one creator God who made all mankind equal. 
I believe in a church that reflects her maker's love of difference. 
I do not believe in uniformity. 
I believe in the common language of love for one another, for neighbours and for enemies that transcends local dialects. 
I believe in one sundry collection of priests who are called to serve one God together, saved by one sacrifice once and for all time. 
I believe in the promise of a resurrected church drawn from all generations to meet her bridegroom. 
I believe in one eternal wedding feast which features everything from the finest vegetable samosas to the richest steam puddings. 
I believe in one extravagant Father who has built one massive mansion with many rooms so all his people can come and dwell together. 
I believe in God's Kingdom come. 

Why not join the throng.

FATHER IS A VERB

We're community, and the community works best with strong relationships. It can be tempting to live life with the mantra "Family first", to put me and mine before those I rub shoulders with daily. But that path deprives us of community. I was fortunate to have strong role models around me outside my immediate family to supplement the parenting I got at home.  That helped mould me as a person.

I now live as part of a local community in Ealing and as part of a church community called Redeemer.  I'm thankful that I still benefit from the support and friendship of those I worship with.

One aspect of this is benefiting from the fatherly care of my pastor and people like him.

The poem that follows celebrates this fathering I've received over the years, from older cousins, mentors, friends and pastors.  And from my late dad, the 'Honey Monster'.

(With great thanks to Godfrey Rust, who wrote a wonderful poem called 'Church is a verb'.)

Father is a verb.

Father's Day; and
Father Christmas
have tried to convince us,
but don't be fooled:
You can, may or will father,
depending on your mood.
For father is a verb.

It only works in the transitive;
you can't father alone,
only in relationship.

It doesn't resent hospital trips,
and offers wrap-around comfort
when a partnership
splits.

It's touch-line volume
drowns out all rivals.
And belly laughs come standard
with jokes on recycle.
Yes, father is a verb.

It's something that men do,
despite the hour,
it drives right on through
the night when life’s gone sour.
It'll hammer ten finger nails
to get the job done.

It will dance, heedless of decorum
forgetting reputation
(- with an ill-suited hat on).

It turns manliness
into awesome-men-ness,
it tempers strength
with a dose of gentleness. Yes,
father is a verb.

It works in the singular:
I can father;
you can father
      (I'm not talking sex here;
      that takes a partner.)
It works in the plural:
we can father; and
they can father, because,
you see, in this village
it's an joint activity,
we father (and mother)
collaboratively.

It works best in the present tense,
happening now, not "LATER!"
-
It can be said in a gentle voice
or something - even - quieter;

sometimes active: directive, protecting;
but often responsive: just sitting, listening;
...holding and hugging;
it responds to need, you see,
but works best
proactively,
works great
sacrificially.

For example,

though it cost him dearly,
God Fathers us
and through us daily.
And one day, suit pressed,
He'll proudly walk
with the bride of Christ.
And as Father of the bride,
He'll host the party and blow the price;

(- BIGGEST - bar-bill - EVER)

And we'll be sure to save at least one dance
for Father.

Oh yes, you heard:
Father is a verb.

If you are looking for community, you'll find it at Redeemer.  Come and introduce yourself.

DISCOUNTED: HOW TO DEAL WITH THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME

I work in a large firm.

3,000ish staff.

I've been here for 21 years now, which regularly raises eyebrows. Is it lack of imagination or perhaps lack of ambition on my part? Neither, I just enjoy my work.

But I need to watch myself, make sure I'm not limiting my options.

I'm conscious that sometimes it's all too easy to look on at colleagues who've made a successful career move and discount myself from a similar move.

Is it just the risks involved with moving that have made me decide that it isn't for me?

(One of my former colleagues is now acting CEO here, another is 'vice-president' at a big bank.)

When opportunities come up at the office, I find myself wondering: Is it a career-limiting task that'll set me up for a fall? Or is it a chance to break out of a rut?

When I have a chance to move on, I ask myself: Is it just that the grass tends to look greener or is this the opportunity of a lifetime?

Sometimes the offer of change comes from a long respected colleague, and so the trust they show in my abilities (which far exceeds my own) is enough to prompt me to take the plunge.

---

I'm challenged by the decisions that the first disciples of Jesus took when faced with change.  He asked them to uproot from their established career choices and to trust him to lead them on a more worthwhile (but untested) path.

Here's what I imagine might have gone on in one of the young disciples' heads at this crossroads.

'His father must be WELL pleased.
What dad wouldn't be? He's learned a trade, been good to his mum, and remembered what his dad taught him: Treat everyone with respect. 
He's got a good 'ed on his shoulders, does Jesus. Always did. Caused him a little trouble in his younger days mind; other kids didn't know how to take him. But his good nature won out; he was well liked by those who got to know 'im. A solid bloke.
And now he's off on his new venture. It's good to take risks every now and then, get out yer comfort zone, cut off the old apron strings. 
He'll need some good people around him mind, guys he can trust. You know what I mean - solid, with the right attitude. I mean, stands to reason someone with 'is vision won't wanna take on any old Tom, Dick or 'arry. He's got his reputation to think of. 
I wish him well, losing his step dad early like that, guy deserves some better days.

'Ere he is now, "Nice to see yer, squire...
-
"Wassat you say? Who, me? No mate, you're 'aving a laugh.  I'm not your entrepreneurial type. Got family commitments, my dad's business. I know it's not much, but it's...
-
"Really? You sure? ...
- 
"Course I trust your judgement, it's just a little unexpected...
- 
"Well in that case, it'll be an 'onour, sir.  Lead the way.  
"By the way, can my bruvver come?" 

Ring any bells?

When you are faced with life changing decisions, how do you respond?

• Do you consider the benefits or the costs first? What wins out?

• Do you have someone you can trust to help you decide?

Try Jesus, his judgement can be trusted.

ONE FATHER'S THOUGHTS ABOUT A MOTHER ADAPTING TO A NEVER-CHANGING SON

I am the father of two adults, Amy (24) and Ethan (23). I still shout: 'Hi, kids', when I greet them. 

They don't seem to mind.

They are all grown up, working and making their own decisions about loving and living. Our relationship has changed over time, from me entertaining them, then training them, maintaining them and now relating to them as fellow adults.

It's been a challenge, but we've adapted.

And I'm still relying on my heavenly Father to show me how to best support them.

'Cos I'm still their dad.

I've been wondering what it might have been like for the parents of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Bringing up the Son of God as a child, as a teen and then watching him attain adulthood probably wasn't all plain sailing. How did they relate to him? We get a few glimpses in the gospels, but not many.

It's apparent that Joseph died before Jesus reached 30. Did Mary bring Jesus up on her own or did Joseph die much later, perhaps triggering the start of Jesus' travels? We don't know. We do know that Mary followed Jesus. We know she was part of the group who formed the early church, as were his brothers.

So I wonder what it was like for Mary to pray to the ascended Jesus after bringing him up - knee scrapes, adolescence and all.

How did she adapt from mother to worshipper? 

Here's how I imagine how an early prayer to Jesus from Mary might have sounded.

Mary's prayer to the ascended Jesus

O Lord, my Saviour, my spirit rejoices in you, for you...
- 
Oh, Jesus. This isn't as easy as I thought it would be. 
Oh, my son, my child, my beloved child - now my Saviour. 
My whole being worships you, and yet in my heart I still treasure those times when it was just you and me. 
Holding you close, hearing your first words, shepherding you as you took your first steps, watching over you... 
And now you watch over me. 
- 
Jesus, my heart still aches when I recall your body arched in pain, bleeding. Your cries still haunt me. It's hard to shake the image of your lifeless body
wrapped in cloth and lying - in a tomb. 
- 
Forgive me, dear son; I almost lost my mind with grief. I was blinded with my tears, and in my fear I didn't understand.  
- 
And then, when I saw you again, whole, restored...
Oh how I loved to see that smile again, to feel your arms around me once more, to hear your laughter, to draw in your warmth as we shared a meal.
Just like we used to. 
But you were taken again so soon. I know you had to go, but oh, how I missed you. 
-
But I'll tell your story - so many want to hear my story. The boys promise to write it down, but I'll still tell. It thrills me every time I tell it, for how can written words capture you, your love, your presence. 
- 
You spoke of a gift, you said that if we waited here in Jerusalem, we would be bathed in YOUR Holy Spirit. 
And now I see. 
I almost weep with joy when I hear young John and the rest of your friends
speaking in your name.
I recognise your voice, you see.  I recognise your heart, in their words. 
It's just like you're still here. 
Thank you for not leaving your old mum alone. 
I'll see you soon, my Jesus. 

How about you?

• What stage of life are your children at?
• Have they grown up and built their own lives?
• How has your relationship adapted?
• What heartaches and highs do you look back on? 
• And how about your parents - how well has your relationship with them adapted along the way?

The wonderful thing about worshipping Jesus, son of man and Son of God, is that he can relate.

Whatever stage your life is at, you can ask him to support and guide you. His Spirit is still available to those who seek Him.