A Disposition of Grace
Is banter really the best way to connect? Can we be more gracious in our conversations?
Welcome to our newest post about Sharing Your Faith! In his regular posts, Ryan Bentley will be stirring us to share our faith with others, by looking at passages of scripture and giving practical tips. We hope you enjoy the blog below!
This week I flubbed up pretty bad. Just a flub and not a full blown mishap, possibly could be a hiccup. When it was revealed to me by someone close to me it was done with typical banter, just giving me a hard time about my flub. What they weren’t aware of, was that I was in a more sensitive emotional state. As a result, I felt ashamed.
The Banter Formula
Banter is a normal part of our human interactions, I’d say, one of the major connecting forces in British culture. It carries quite a few benefits; it breeds familiarity where both people can choose the pace, it allows us to laugh at ourselves while showing that we don’t take ourselves too seriously (a cornerstone of British Humour) and helps us discover boundaries. From my observation the formula for interactions goes a little like this:
Nice
Banter
Empathy and Understanding
Banter
Banter
Banter
Depth of Conversation & Relationship
Hidden Consequences
Unfortunately, Banter often has the unintended (or subconsciously intended) result of bringing shame and embarrassment.
I don’t think shame has a place in the Kingdom of God. In the past I have memorised 2 Corinthians 7:10 - Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. But I made a mistake in my memorisation, replacing the word sorrow with shame. But then I started writing this blog, and I couldn’t find that translation anywhere. Godly Sorrow brings about repentance, while worldly sorrow brings death. I don’t think Sorrow and Shame are interchangeable here.
As followers of Jesus, we’re called to be salt and light. Salt substantially changes the make up of things due to it’s interactions with the substance it’s added to. Salt the earth, it won’t grow. Salt some meat, it begins to break down. Salt your coffee…go get some more sleep, because you meant to use sugar. My point being that grace brings brings transformation, not shame, and I’m questioning whether my banter leads to grace.
Where’s the grace in banter?
After all that’s what we’re trying to bring people into isn’t it? Grace? We bringing people from death to life!
Grace is a transformational power in the kingdom of God, not shame or guilt. Grace is the key to the door of the kingdom. It’s the waterfall we all must walk through to get into the kingdom. We are bathed in it. It’s soaked into every fiber of our being when we put Jesus on the throne of our lives.
When we share our faith with others and we’re developing a relationship with them, it begins and must have its roots in grace, not banter. We are made to be different. We are made to substantially change the make up of the things that we come into contact with. This is a challenge to myself as much as it is to you. (Actually, probably more-so!)
Having a disposition of grace will open doors, start conversations and ultimately bring the transformational change Jesus is calling us to work in. Imagine being so full, that your love, grace and joy is affecting others to the point they want to join in?!
That! Is the kingdom. Isaiah 2:1-5 will help us see that.
The word that Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem.
2 It shall come to pass in the latter days
that the mountain of the house of the Lord
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
and shall be lifted up above the hills;
and all the nations shall flow to it,
3 and many peoples shall come, and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may teach us his ways
and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth the law,[a]
and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
4 He shall judge between the nations,
and shall decide disputes for many peoples;
and they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war anymore.
5 O house of Jacob,
come, let us walk
in the light of the Lord.
Isaiah 2:1-5
Ryan Bentley
Ryan moved from Birmingham in 2020 to be part of Redeemer along with his wife Sarah (our families worker) and his two kids, Rhys and Torah! He serves the church full time and his aim is to equip each of us to share the gospel with those around us on a daily basis. Look out for his Faith Sharing Meetup next term, or find more of his wisdom on Instagram.
Uncomfortable Wealth
In our second ‘Uncomfortable Blog’ we are challenged on how we use our wealth.
If you’ve been attending Redeemer over the past few months you will have likely heard Pete and others plugging the book - Uncomfortable: The Awkward Challenge of Christian Community. We’ve even written a review of it on the blog!
After reading the book, Mandy Hudson was inspired to go further, and to think about what it means for us at Redeemer to live uncomfortable lives. This month she has joined with Adele Dabrowski to write about Uncomfortable Wealth. We hope that you are challenged and encouraged by what she has written.
Uncomfortable Wealth
Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honours God.
Proverbs 14:31
One subject we really don’t like talking about is money, yet as western Christians we can easily take our wealth for granted.
There is poverty in the UK. By some estimates one in four people or 9 out of every 30 children is living in poverty in the UK. That’s a shocking figure for the world’s sixth largest economy. Three fifths of the population in the UK hold 80% of its income, However, globally there is much greater disparity. Most of us in the UK will still be in the top 25% of global income even if we rely fully on the UK welfare system. That’s still 3 times better off than most people in the world
Our relative wealth or poverty is an accident of birth, but how can we work to equalize the situation?
Taking wealth for granted
Adele and Richard Dabrowski lived in Mozambique as missionaries for eight years:
Before we lived in Mozambique, we had no idea what extreme poverty was like. Like most Westerners if I heard that a family of five or six were living in a two bedroomed house, I would agree with them that this was a case of overcrowding and they should be moved into a three bedroomed house.
Until, that is, we visited Noviane, the village next to our base. Here a two roomed house usually served as living dining and sleeping quarters for a family of up to 12 people, with an outside latrine - a hole in the ground surrounded by a bamboo screen. Cooking took place in the tiny patio over an open fire made of twigs. The richest people of the village were those who could afford a three roomed house made of bricks, unlike the others who saw their little mud and bamboo homes being swept away every year when the rains came, along with their few earthly possessions!
Eating one meal a day of rice, beans and possibly some tomatoes or tiny fish which Mama had managed to catch in her ‘capulana’ (something like a thin sheet) at 5 am that morning, was the norm.
I once took two ten year old girls out to a chicken and chips place, I noticed they ate half of the quarter chicken and a few chips. They then carefully wrapped the rest in the paper serviette and informed me that they were ‘going to share it with their family.’
I felt humbled! How much do we take for granted in our comfortable life-style? how often do we thank God for the food we have on our plates?”
I’ve learnt that we can never out do God in giving. He will provide for our needs as well as those we give to. To really appreciate the generosity of God we need to step out sacrificially just as Jesus was willing to do for us.
Gospel guided generosity
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
1 Corinthians 9:7
We recognise that everything we have, including our lives is a gift from God. He is open handed towards us so we must be the same towards others. Sometimes, there seem to be so many conflicting calls on our cash we feel overwhelmed and don’t know where it is best to invest the resources God has given us.
Here’s some good advice from Adele:
“As children of God, we cannot turn a blind eye to the poor of this world. But let us be sensible. First, let it be the Lord who guides us in the amount of our giving and supporting. Secondly, in the case of extreme poverty, it is a good idea to support projects that will change a whole village, or will provide people a chance to better themselves and eventually be in a position to be self-sufficient, plus help their own community. Projects such as well-drilling, farming or enabling students to undertake further education, thus guaranteeing them jobs, are well worth considering. Even a small amount on a regular basis goes a long way in poorer countries.”
In Matthew 25 v 31 – 46 Jesus tells us the parable of the sheep and goats. Let’s heed its message that, ‘Whatever you did for the least of my brethren, you did it for me!’
May we rise to the challenge to serve the Lord freely with the wealth He has given us.
Written by Mandy Hudson
Mandy is a member of our Redeemer Family, a teacher, and a contributor to Redeemer’s latest book - Stories of Hope. You can pick up a copy on a Sunday morning!
An Uncomfortable Challenge
In response to Brett McCracken’s book - Uncomfortable, Mandy issues us a challenge!
If you’ve been attending Redeemer over the past few months you will have likely heard Pete and others plugging the book - Uncomfortable: The Awkward Challenge of Christian Community. We’ve even written a review of it on the blog!
After reading the book, Mandy Hudson was inspired to go further, and to think about what it means for us at Redeemer to live uncomfortable lives. We hope that you are challenged and encouraged by what she has written.
An Uncomfortable Challenge
As I read Brett McCracken’s “Uncomfortable” I was struck with a desire to read and learn more about practical ways we as the family of God can live, learn and grow together to truly reflect the glory of Jesus. The result of my searching is below in blog form.
Have you noticed that in creating the perfect bride, the Lord has decided to unify the most disadvantaged, dysfunctional, disparate and desperate group of people you can ever imagine? This includes you and I!
Over 40 years of church life I’ve had plenty of time to observe and participate in the uncomfortable existence which is living out the Christian faith in the community of the church and out in the world. The truth is that we simply don’t fit in.
Some of us will never be “cool” or “strong”. We’ll always feel we sit on the outside of the “in” crowd, even when everyone else thinks we are in it. This is being the family of God inside the church. Outside, well that’s a different story, through Christ we are now strangers to the world. (Hebrews 11v13-15) As Jesus’ people we have a new heart and a new direction towards His kingdom.
If only that kingdom had already come and rescued us from our current uncomfortable situation. Oh, wait a minute – the Lord expects us to continue His work demonstrating that kingdom, right here, right now. That’s uncomfortable. Sometimes I think if we are the hope of the world, God help them.
Let’s not despair, Jesus is Head of the Church and has given us the power of His Holy Spirit. We shouldn’t underestimate the resources He has put in our hands, but they are not for us, they are meant to be a witness to a lost world.
I think there are three things we need to recognise if we are to live up to our calling:
We like people like us
People see through our insincerity
We need to live honestly and with integrity
It seems so natural to gravitate towards like-minded people, but even in church we miss out on the uncomfortable truth that everyone is family and therefore to be equally loved. 1 Peter 2:5 says
“You also as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”
This is who we are – meant for sacrificial service. This goes beyond a smile on a Sunday. We are one household. We need to look beyond ourselves. In remembering our roots in God’s mercy, we can find grace to reach out to the world, creating a space for all to live honestly with integrity.
Is it easier to live life in the shadow of the world and sin? Rather than living in the full light of Christ we prefer a kind of half-light where we try to co-exist with the world. We gather a few favoured Christian friends around us but don’t venture outside that circle. We can kid ourselves we are holy on a Sunday, but we don’t fool God or our non-Christian neighbours or colleagues who see us the rest of the week. Evangelising unbelievers is not an optional extra. We are called to preach “in season and out of season” (2 Tim 4:2). Let’s rely on the Lord to supply us with His strength to fulfil the great commission to go into all the world and make disciples – like Him not us.
Inside the church we need to be honest about our failings and gracious towards others. Maybe, rather than avoiding that brother or sister in Christ who really irritates us, we should remember the grace and mercy Jesus showed to us and work harder on our relationships. After all, we are all part of the redeemed Bride of Christ.
Brett McCracken doesn’t seem to have much time for “authentic” Christianity which excuses sin. Quite right. However, we do need to learn how to be authentically Christ-like towards each other and those to whom God calls us to witness. That’s an uncomfortable challenge drawing us deeper towards the heart of Jesus…
“in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:7)
Let’s share that kindness today.
Written by Mandy Hudson
Mandy is a member of our Redeemer Family, a teacher, and a contributor to Redeemer’s latest book - Stories of Hope. You can pick up a copy on a Sunday morning!
Answered Prayer - Deeper Relationship
Nathanael Jegunma shares how attending his Transforming Prayer meetup has enhanced his relationship with his Heavenly Father.
In the second of our blogs focusing on Answered Prayer, Nathanael Jegunma shares with us how the community and the prayers of his Transforming Prayer meetup have led to fresh encounters and more intimate relationship with his Heavenly Father!
I am new to Redeemer and joined a small group within the first 2 weeks. God has truly revealed how powerful he is when you have faith in him and act in according to his word.
The Transforming Prayer series has reinvigorated my connection with God and I have felt my relationship and understanding of him grow. I have begun to regularly share the word of God with my colleagues at work, improved my family relationships and learned to communicate more effectively with God.
There is power in us gathering and praying together and we have seen God answer prayers in our group. I would encourage anyone who attends Redeemer to enjoy the fellowship and family that small groups provide and get involved.
— Nathanael Jegunma
They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.
Acts 2:42
Let's Meet Up This Summer...
Well, the sun is here.*
(*Based on 3 days at the end of April. Sunshine is not a guarantee of sustained hot weather. Temperatures can go down as well as up. Other weather conditions may be experienced.)
Whatever the weather, it's a perfect time to be launching our Summer Meetups at Redeemer Church London - you can sign up today at redeemerlondon.org/meetups. Don't miss out!
We're excited about these groups - partly because of the calibre of leader and quality of topics on offer - but also because getting together with real people in real life makes for powerful encounters.
Acquaintances become friends.
Questions become answers.
Curiosity becomes passion.
Meeting up brings people together to create thriving communities.
But don't listen to me, listen to the folk at Redeemer London:
"We had people who had been in the church since the start, people who were totally new... Sharing hobbies such as running is a great way not only to improve in it but also to connect and do life with others."
"I was blown over by people's honesty and openness. From the first night it was really encouraging."
"I really appreciated the pearls of wisdom from a conversation in a pub. It was a real eye opener."
"It has certainly made me more mindful of allowing yourself time to ‘be’ and not always having to ‘do’."
So there you have it - go to http://redeemerlondon.org/meetups/
and select one of the 14 on offer.
We hope to see you soon, whatever the weather.
No app for that...
Some things take a little more time...
There's no app for job satisfaction.
No app for deeper self-realisation.
No app for joy and love of life.
No app to avoid struggle or strife.
No app for meaningful inter-relation,
for self-esteem or bond formation
These each take time, with patient dedication,
a repeated test of your true determination.
These take quiet contemplation
and longer considered conversation.
A real-time flesh interaction,
with authentic, humble co-operation.
I'm meaning a dangerously high contagion
with the risk of personal dissatisfaction.
These take sustained concentration,
a firm hand on the neck of your current situation.
These take more than a one day binge;
you'll need to commit to more than a fling.
More than a lazy swipe to your right,
more than a stand for just one night.
These take guts and sweat and tears,
you might even find that some take years.
But this is life beyond the screen, this is how it's always been.
So lift your head and take a breath,
we'll stand right here and lend our strength.
All I can promise are tears and laughter
and friends who'll stand closer thereafter.